emergency

[fireweb13]

Hello, I just got an email from my ex girlfriend stating that I am not allowed to pick up my daughter because of reasons that do not make any sense. I am supposed to pick her up tomorow and she said that I cannot come to get her. I don't know what to do anymore. please help

[thistoshallpass]

Do you have a court order

[fireweb13]

yes i do. it states that this is my access weekend

[fireweb13]

I contacted local police,they said that with my court order if I can prove she is not letting me have Lexi that they will come to the residence at least to try and help.Its a start. any advice would be great.

[fireweb13]

unfortunatly I just found out tonight,so I have not had the chance to be able to do that, I will be going back to court next week though,on monday hopefully. What would happen if with the help of the police we cannot find her at home? can I charge her with kidnapping?

[standing on the sidelines]

what are her reasons for not letting you see your child? Is this an isolated incident? Is she willing to let you make up the time??

[Foredeck]

Make sure you record all of this, keep notes. And, I would bring someone with you. If it ever goes to court, it would be good to have a witness to support your story.

And, don't go down to her level, if she's being unreasonable, you can use this against her in court later.

[Mess]

Digital cameras and recorders are small and cheap. Have someone there, and have a recording of what goes on. If you keep it on discreetly sticking out of your pocket, you can possibly record her saying something incriminating, like she's doing this on purpose to hurt you etc.

Having the police there won't mean you get your daughter, but it means she can't possibly charge you with assault etc (assuming you don't lose your temper). She can't make up a story.

Even with a witness of your own, she can make up a story and have you charged, it will be dropped later, much later. But if the police are there she can't do that.

[#1StepMom]

Originally Posted by Foredeck

Make sure you record all of this, keep notes. And, I would bring someone with you. If it ever goes to court, it would be good to have a witness to support your story.

And, don't go down to her level, if she's being unreasonable, you can use this against her in court later.

I agree. If you can have the police with you, that's great. Hopefully you can even get some sort of write-up from the police station stating what happened.

Keep documenting and have witnesses - that's pretty much all you can do while waiting for things to happen in court.

You can put in a motion for contempt of the court order, but all that will happen is that the judge will "suggest that you abide by the court order," and let her go with a slap on the wrist. But at least you'll have it documented.

My only concern with such actions on your ex's part is how often they occur and how they will change the status quo. This is exactly what happened to my husband. All of a sudden, one day out of the blue, my stepson's mom started showing up at the daycare on our scheduled pick-up time, and refusing to hand the child over. It got to the point where there were days when she wouldn't even send the child to daycare on our scheduled pick-up day, and we'd drive 2 hours (one way) to find out the child wasn't even there.

By the time we finally made it to court - you all know how long that takes - the "new" schedule she forced upon us had become the status quo. And with a letter from her family doctor stating the new scheduled worked better for the child (now 20% time with dad instead of previous 40%) and was more beneficial, there was little we could do. Even our argument that this doctor never contacted the child's father to properly investigate how the child was faring in BOTH homes was a moot point. All the judge said was that the child was now used to the new schedule, and according to the mother and her doctor, the child was faring better, therefore the new schedule would remain just as it was forced upon us on the mother's whim (simply because she wanted more child support - the entire table amount - and that's what she got, and more!)

So be careful to not let this happen to you. If this happens once or twice more, file an emergency motion with the court asking for undisturbed or uniterrupted access as per the current court order. We unfortunately waited a little too long, hoping that she'd stop this absurdity, but she never did and as a result of our hope, she accomplished her goal. Don't let your ex accomplish hers.

Good luck, my friend!

[independentgal]

You know your situation enough to know whether to communicate to your ex that the police will be involved if need be to facilitate your access today. On one hand, she could disappear totally to avoid the scene if you told her. On the other hand, she may just allow the child to go if you tell her the police are coming.

It is a tough call. It is NOT up to her to make up a reason to refuse you. There is NO reason for her to unilaterally change the access. Some people have no respect for court orders, they are the ones that need to be shown their place, like your ex.

It isn't your fault for involving the police and potentially causing a scene. It is hers. I would take my chances if I was you and let her know the police will be coming with you to get your child today. Then, you have a double whammy if she refuses. She cannot play dumb that she didn't think you were serious. What is your method of communication? How can you ensure she understands what you are going to do today in writing and KNOW she got it? Otherwise you are stuck with taping a voice mail which is, in my opinion, useless in court.

Whatever you do, even if it is just the series of emails, is to bring copies of them along with the order to the house with you, a set for the police, and a set for your ex.

Whatever you do, don't get all excited when the police are there. You want them on your side, not your ex's. If you are rational and don't blurt things out, or cut people off from talking, it will go a LONG way to help you. And, since you contacted the police, you can get a copy of the Police Report after this incident to keep in your file.

Keep calm, the police, and your child will thank you for it.