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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 06-18-2015, 08:57 PM
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Default Emails from the Exs new Wife

Hi All,

I am receiving emails from my Exs wife on his behalf. Are these considered from him as they come from his email address? Or can I ignore them as I know they are not from him. What stands in a court and what doesn't? I'm tired of dealing with her. I have told them I do not want to respond to her and was told "we are Co parents. It is what it is. Get used to it."

What can I do?
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Old 06-18-2015, 09:03 PM
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I have received emails from my ex's g/f for the past 6 years. Yes, indeed, in court it is considered to be communication from my ex. This has blown up in his face many times.

I was divorced in 2010 and STILL receive emails from my ex's g/f (pretending to be my ex).

Just shows how nutty they are.

My way of dealing with this in the old "court litigation days" was that I insisted that my ex hand-write me and then fax to me if he wanted a response from me. It slowed down the bullshit for sure.

**keep in mind that my ex and I did not have child-related matters to deal with.

Many people have opted to have an Order for use of My Family Wizard software for day-to-day communication with ex. You can check it out online.

Last edited by arabian; 06-18-2015 at 09:05 PM. Reason: important disclaimer
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Old 06-19-2015, 06:36 AM
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Add me to the nutty ex list. My exes new girlfriend writes to me under his email address. She even went so far as to represent him as a "legal advocate". One with no legal training whatsoever. She even sat in on a settlement conference. It's very disturbing the level of involvement some of these new partners take.
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Old 06-19-2015, 07:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OntarioMomma View Post
Add me to the nutty ex list. My exes new girlfriend writes to me under his email address. She even went so far as to represent him as a "legal advocate". One with no legal training whatsoever. She even sat in on a settlement conference. It's very disturbing the level of involvement some of these new partners take.
My ex's g/f tried this but judge rightly removed her as she was/is not party to the matter.

Be warned - you might get little encouragement from people on this forum who will swear up and down that they attend family court for their partners as "support" mechanism. Yeah right. IMO it is merely meddling. It's hard enough to go through the family court process without having to deal with "the gang" every time.

Just goes to show what "dickless wonders" we were married to.
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Old 06-19-2015, 08:41 AM
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My Ex's wife is a para legal.....but she is dumber than nails!! She doesn't understand that she has no rights when it comes to the Legal aspect of the Court Order between My Ex and I.....
Here is the response I got from both of them when I told them I would not be dealing with HER as she is not mentioned on our court order...


I'm the one calling the agency for him and trying to get this cleared up. I had assumed we could be adults about this. obviuosly I was wrong. "our children" as you refer to the boys reside in mine and EX's home when they are with him. Making us co-parents in this whether you like it or not. lf you prefer I email you from my address, I can do that. I am EX's wife and I am those boys stepmom. It is what it is. Get use to it.
EX's WIFE


They are our Children. Yours mine new husbands and EX's Wife's we have all signed up to raise the boys!!!!!
Secondly Ex's Wife is my wife and anything that concerns me concerns her. Be thankful that she is involved. She a hell of alot nicer then I am.
And I am aware what is being sent as it always me sending the email, she might be writing half of them but I know and edit them.


At what point can I just tell them to Duck Right Off??
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Old 06-19-2015, 08:53 AM
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My ex,s boyfriend shot my my little girl in the leg with a bb gun and left a mark. I am almost sure it was more a stupid accident and my little girl can handle herself and she asked me not to make a big deal out of it. Nothing I could do about it any ways, and please don,t tell me I could. That,s part of her new family, is what it is.

Be clever with the emails and send back some spam or forward some ridiculous email not related to much of anything or something like that. Youll feel better they will have to work harder, and the results will be the same. Most people hate to work harder, make another email account , pretend you didn,t get theirs, play them up, all the while the outcome will be the same or better than any order.
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Old 06-19-2015, 09:00 AM
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I'd tell her that while the children do share residences, that she is not a party to the litigation and as such emails from her that are not directly child related may not be responded to.

You don't have to respond to her if it is clear that the email came from her. If the email:

a) comes from the your ex's email address and is closed as being the ex who sent it; or

b) provides that it was "sent on behalf of Ex",

you then may have to respond. Just know that most communications don't warrant a response anyway, so you wouldn't be wrong to simply read it and file it. But if the email discusses court related matters and it is from the new wife's email address, or signed off as being from the their new wife, and not does not provide that it was sent on behalf of the ex, I would ignore. She isn't a party to the litigation and has no legal standing, notwithstanding how much she may believe she does. Yeah, she is a party in the children's lives, but not to the court order or agreement. Thus she has no authority to discuss these matters with you.

If she is advising you about something child related, a simple "thanks for the info" or "I'll take it into consideration and will respond to Ex in due course" would suffice.

Edit - if the new wife responds that she is ex's advocate, you can remind her that paralegals are not permitted to represent people in family court. An individual may self-represent or have a lawyer, that's it.

Last edited by HammerDad; 06-19-2015 at 09:04 AM.
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Old 06-19-2015, 01:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Busch View Post
My Ex's wife is a para legal.....but she is dumber than nails!! She doesn't understand that she has no rights when it comes to the Legal aspect of the Court Order between My Ex and I.....
Here is the response I got from both of them when I told them I would not be dealing with HER as she is not mentioned on our court order...


I'm the one calling the agency for him and trying to get this cleared up. I had assumed we could be adults about this. obviuosly I was wrong. "our children" as you refer to the boys reside in mine and EX's home when they are with him. Making us co-parents in this whether you like it or not. lf you prefer I email you from my address, I can do that. I am EX's wife and I am those boys stepmom. It is what it is. Get use to it.
EX's WIFE


They are our Children. Yours mine new husbands and EX's Wife's we have all signed up to raise the boys!!!!!
Secondly Ex's Wife is my wife and anything that concerns me concerns her. Be thankful that she is involved. She a hell of alot nicer then I am.
And I am aware what is being sent as it always me sending the email, she might be writing half of them but I know and edit them.


At what point can I just tell them to Duck Right Off??
They're antagonizing you.

She "signed up" to raise the boys, you have an obligation, as does your ex. She does not.

I often saw a distinct change in language used from email to email from the ex, and determined that he wasn't writing them.

The problems this causes is - the new wife only knows what the ex has told her, and presumes it to be all true. In most cases, it isn't.

I usually replied with "Dear X's wife: When X feels capable of handling this matter independently, I am willing to discuss. I trust you will respect this request and refrain from contacting me further." I also put in an email filter that would automatically "junk" emails from her address.
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Old 06-19-2015, 01:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
I'd tell her that while the children do share residences, that she is not a party to the litigation and as such emails from her that are not directly child related may not be responded to.

You don't have to respond to her if it is clear that the email came from her. If the email:

a) comes from the your ex's email address and is closed as being the ex who sent it; or

b) provides that it was "sent on behalf of Ex",

you then may have to respond. Just know that most communications don't warrant a response anyway, so you wouldn't be wrong to simply read it and file it. But if the email discusses court related matters and it is from the new wife's email address, or signed off as being from the their new wife, and not does not provide that it was sent on behalf of the ex, I would ignore. She isn't a party to the litigation and has no legal standing, notwithstanding how much she may believe she does. Yeah, she is a party in the children's lives, but not to the court order or agreement. Thus she has no authority to discuss these matters with you.

If she is advising you about something child related, a simple "thanks for the info" or "I'll take it into consideration and will respond to Ex in due course" would suffice.

Edit - if the new wife responds that she is ex's advocate, you can remind her that paralegals are not permitted to represent people in family court. An individual may self-represent or have a lawyer, that's it.
Actually, I was told by a lawyer that a self rep can have anyone they want represent them, as long as they're listed on the court paperwork.
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Old 06-19-2015, 01:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OntarioMomma View Post
Actually, I was told by a lawyer that a self rep can have anyone they want represent them, as long as they're listed on the court paperwork.
Only if the court gives permission in advance.
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