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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 01-06-2017, 02:31 PM
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Hi Everyone

Is it not a good idea to let her Lawyer Know I also have an email from her indicating as we previous agreed she will not be seeking spousal.

I'm just responding to her Lawyer about certain amendments and he is still on about this spousal thing
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Old 01-06-2017, 03:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zanman View Post
Hi Everyone

Is it not a good idea to let her Lawyer Know I also have an email from her indicating as we previous agreed she will not be seeking spousal.

I'm just responding to her Lawyer about certain amendments and he is still on about this spousal thing
Was the email from her when she had a lawyer or before she had a lawyer? She could just say she wasn't informed at that time and is now informed. Her Canadian lawyer is going to be on you about spousal support like a mosquito and will buzz around your ears in a similar way until he stings you. That is what he's getting paid to do - to take your money and give it to her client, so he can have something to take home to his kids at the end of the day. I would make him go to trial for it, and appeal it, and refuse any costs claims and make it a living misery that he will remember and regret for the rest of his life.
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Old 01-06-2017, 03:22 PM
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I'm not really sure in regards to time frame. I just wanted to say hey your client even last year indicated she was seeking spousal. Or do I keep that to myself until I get served an application
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Old 01-06-2017, 04:01 PM
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Hypothetical conversation:

Quote:
Exwife: "I want spousal"
Lawyer: "I'm going to get you spousal"
(you send email)

Quote:
Lawyer: I got an email saying that you don't want spousal
Exwife: Oh no! What happens now?
Lawyer: I think we give up entirely and drop the case
Exwife: But am I not entitled to spousal?
Lawyer: You were, but then you sent an email and that trumps everything
Exwife: Ah well, please inform my ex that I have fully capitulated
The above scenario is very unlikely.

That said, seriously, what are you trying to do? Convince your ex's lawyer that his client is wrong? He doesn't care. Why would you tell the lawyer anything? He isn't there to negotiate, he isn't there to find a fair solution. He is there to get his client as much as possible. He is your enemy. Don't talk to him, ever.
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Old 01-06-2017, 04:10 PM
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Thanks Janus

Its just some on the board have said to work with them regarding amendments to our old agreement we did as he is trying to get it tossed out. But the whole reason this started she is seeking a spousal support claim. We separated in Sept 2014
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Old 01-06-2017, 04:16 PM
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Making an offer to settle is one thing. Providing evidence to argue your case is another thing.

eg.

A: My offer is that support be calculated on an imputed income of $30,000 for your client.
B: Your client always used to talk about how she was going to get a job. I have emails that prove that she wanted to get a job, and newspaper clippings of jobs that she can easily get where she can earn $30,000.

One is for the lawyer, the other is for a judge.
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Old 01-06-2017, 04:46 PM
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Janus makes a good point. And to add to that point, look at her lawyer the same way you would look at a Police Officer accusing you of a criminal offense. What you say can and will be used against you. You have the right to remain silent. More than likely he is trying to get all these things from you on consent without having to go through the courts. I sure hope there are things you are asking as well. Shoot for the stars so you have something to negotiate for. If you ask for the minimum, you can be sure that is the maximum you will get.
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Old 01-06-2017, 09:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Making an offer to settle is one thing. Providing evidence to argue your case is another thing.

eg.

A: My offer is that support be calculated on an imputed income of $30,000 for your client.
B: Your client always used to talk about how she was going to get a job. I have emails that prove that she wanted to get a job, and newspaper clippings of jobs that she can easily get where she can earn $30,000.

One is for the lawyer, the other is for a judge.
Excellent point. Too many people play the evidence card wrong when negotiating. You should always keep your cards close to your chest unless they would truly make a difference in the negotiation.
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Old 01-06-2017, 11:20 PM
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I didn't answer but in this specific case I agree. I would tell the lawyer, look she already told me she didn't want alimony but I WOULD NOT provide the email in negotiations.

Something like this will happen:
Lawyer: Your ex said you said you didn;t want alimony
Her: He is lying
.....
....
Trial Evidence Disclosure
...
..
Lawyer: Umm, I have an email her in the disclosure of you saying you don't want alimony
Her: Ummmm....
Lawyer: Well know that screws everything up....
....
...
...
Trial

They aren't prepared
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Old 01-07-2017, 12:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
I didn't answer but in this specific case I agree. I would tell the lawyer, look she already told me she didn't want alimony but I WOULD NOT provide the email in negotiations.

Something like this will happen:
Lawyer: Your ex said you said you didn;t want alimony
Her: He is lying
.....
....
Trial Evidence Disclosure
...
..
Lawyer: Umm, I have an email her in the disclosure of you saying you don't want alimony
Her: Ummmm....
Lawyer: Well know that screws everything up....
....
...
...
Trial

They aren't prepared
I could just imagine the look on that lawyer's face and the blap of BS that would come out from his mouth trying to cover up how ridiculous and embarrassed he is in front of everyone... uhmm your hounour uhmm nuhmm uhmm the email therof was herof not herin therin it was theorof over there of hereout thereout insidie out inside in
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