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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 10-11-2017, 10:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
Tell him to be careful, her friends are probably telling her to set him up to have him react so she can call the police and use it against him.
That was my first thought. I would strongly recommend buying a voice recorder and using it on every single interaction with the ex. The recordings can't be used as a sword, just a shield. You can't use the recordings against your ex, but you can certainly use the recordings to defend yourself against false allegations from the ex.

Of course, as standing implied, allegations don't have to be false. It is likely that she will try to provoke your friend. He has a history of domestic violence, so anything would work. If he throws at pillow at her she could spin it against him. If she grabs his arm and he pushes her away. If she stands in the doorway to block him. So many risky situations.
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Old 10-11-2017, 10:35 AM
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I was in the same boat. My 4 children live with me, and STBX pays C/S
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Old 10-11-2017, 09:32 PM
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I am not going to quote everyone who has answered this thread. I just want to personally thank you all for your responses. I have shared your responses with my friend and he is quite encouraged by all of your response.

It's unfortunate that he is going through all of this, when in fact he loves his child and willing to go the distance to get more time with the child.

Wish all of you the best. plainNamedDad44, we will search through your threads to hopefully pick up a trick or two from you.

Thanks again, this forum never disappoints.
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Old 10-11-2017, 09:34 PM
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No need for him to worry at all. Domestic violence is not at all taken seriously in family court. Even with overwhelming video evidence, medical records, CAS testifying, police testifying itís treated as a joke by all family court judges. Beating your spouse up? Judges donít care. They donít think it affects your ability to parent. Beat up your own kid? Judges donít care. They might give you supervised access for awhile but believe no matter what a person has done their right to unsupervised access trumps the child or spouses right to safety.

Just tell him to pull the PAS card. Judges love parental alienation. Even if a person murdered their spouse or child a family court judge will side with the perpetrator that they had no choice because it was parental alienation.
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Old 10-11-2017, 09:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stillbreathing View Post
Beating your spouse up? Judges donít care.
Beat up your own kid? Judges donít care.
Even if a person murdered their spouse or child a family court judge will side with the perpetrator that they had no choice because it was parental alienation.

You are joking, right?
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Old 10-11-2017, 09:49 PM
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I postulate that the ex in this situation will do herself in by bringing up past 10-year-old DV charge and make herself look like an ass.

I agree with others to tell your friend to watch his back though. Ex must be feeling desperate... desperate people do desperate things unfortunately. Hopefully your friend is never alone with this person.

Stillbreathing - your situation is/was dreadful. I can understand how you must feel betrayed by the Family Court. In this situation the ex had dispute but it was 10 years ago and presumably a 1-time occurrence. IMO, and from what little we know about this situation, the defendant met the conditions and by order of court charge was discharged. If this is not the case, the individual might very well be scrutinized if it can be shown that he was abusive or aggressive (to anyone for that matter) over the past 10 years. This is why he should exercise extreme caution when around his ex as he is a walking, talking target for a trumped-up DV charge.
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Old 10-11-2017, 09:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I postulate that the ex in this situation will do herself in by bringing up past 10-year-old DV charge and make herself look like an ass.

I agree with others to tell your friend to watch his back though. Ex must be feeling desperate... desperate people do desperate things unfortunately. Hopefully your friend is never alone with this person.
Thank you Arabian. The unfortunate situation is that DV, along with the false allegation that my friend can't parent is the basis that the ex has been dragging the case for the last two years and going into a trial.

I guess in this case, the only thing my friend can do is to play it out and let the judge make the decision?
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Old 10-11-2017, 10:07 PM
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I do hope she is carrying a recorder as well and, more importantly, has contacted the local fire/police institutions to advise them of the status in the household. If he has DV'd once before (reported), there is always cause for concern and rightfully so.

Will the 10 yr-DV charge stick to parenting? it shouldn't.
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Old 10-11-2017, 10:18 PM
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I know several people on here (posted me privately) who faced a similar dilemma. They retained good counsel (criminal for charge and family lawyer for custody) and ended up with 50/50 shared. These people also did not, under any circumstances, communicate with their ex... they did it through lawyer... exchanged kids through licensed place and never put themselves in a vulnerable situation of being falsely accused again. no text... nothing which was the hardest but ended up being critical to their respective situations.
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Old 10-11-2017, 10:36 PM
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He doesnít have to worry about a thing. Domestic violence no mattter how horrendous is not taken seriously in family court. Even if he were convicted in criminal court and did prison time, once he enters family court itís instantly dismissed . Even if he had done jail time the family court would consider that it happened more than two days ago. Anything more than 48 hrs in the past and they would consider him fully rehabilitated. Criminal court convicts criminal behaviours.
In family court criminal behaviour is rewarded not punished.
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