Doing ALL the driving

[knackered]

At our 4 way meeting my lawyer and my ex's lawyer both told me that I had to do all the driving for access with my children--pick up/drop off simply because I moved 40 minutes away.

Ummm...my ex filed a false police report against me, and had police take me out of the house. How was moving my choice in that situation? I went to court for 3 months over that and the charges were dropped against me.

I hear of many people who are ordered to meet half way or one parent drives the kids to and the other parent drives the kids back.

Do judges not order split driving arrangements anymore?

[Canan]

Yes judges can stipulate in the order issues regarding pick ups and drop offs should they feel it's a problem to resolve.


Lots of parents meet somewhere neutral for exchanges such as McDonald's.

Or, you may be able to avoid each other outright if that would benefit the situation by getting them at school or daycare.

As far as moving 40 minutes away, I don't know for sure but I have opinions. Others probably have a better understanding.

[standing on the sidelines]

Originally Posted by knackered

At our 4 way meeting my lawyer and my ex's lawyer both told me that I had to do all the driving for access with my children--pick up/drop off simply because I moved 40 minutes away.

Ummm...my ex filed a false police report against me, and had police take me out of the house. How was moving my choice in that situation? I went to court for 3 months over that and the charges were dropped against me.

I hear of many people who are ordered to meet half way or one parent drives the kids to and the other parent drives the kids back.

Do judges not order split driving arrangements anymore?

to me its not fair at all. The charges were dropped against you and you had already been removed from theh home for three months. You needed to have a place to live and moving was not your choice. Your ex will argue that you did not need to move that distance away so be prepared for that argument.

[billm]

Why did you move 40 minutes away?

[Berner_Faith]

I agree it may not be fair given your circumstances....but is there any way you can move closer? When you were forced to move, was there an option to live in the same town, rather than 40min away?

[knackered]

It is a small town, I got laid off from my job there and could not find another job in that small town. I was unemployed when she had me removed from the house like that. I had to find a job in the bigger city 40 minutes away. She's also getting more child support from me working this job than she would if I was in her town working at a minimum wage job.

I just find it odd that the lawyers say I have to do all driving because I chose to move--when it is court proven that she had police remove me out of the house.

And I have heard many cases where the parents drive half way or one drives one way and the other back. So I don't know why the lawyers would tell me that isn't possible for us to do.

[MommaMouse]

JMHO - You want the kids you go get them....she wants the kids back she goes and gets them back. Simple......but then nothing in life is simple Good luck.

[mcdreamy]

You made a choice to move 40 minutes out. It would seem reasonable that you accept the driving costs.

Our written agreement provides that we will stay within our region, which limits where we can move, and the drive for each of us.

[Berner_Faith]

I can understand where you came from... my bf started off doing all the driving...however when him and his ex separated, he was 2 hours away working in a town where they were planning on moving too...he also get laid off and was hired by a good friend of his...they were planning in moving to the area and a month after he started working, she told him not to come home. Anyways...he was doing all the driving at the start...2 hours there and back to visit with his kids...

They eventually agreed to meet half way, but once lawyers were involved she decided she didn't want to do any of the driving and was requesting he do all pick up/drop offs because it was a financial burden on her... well he responded that for him to do all the driving it would also be a financial burden and if she wishes to limit the driving she must do, he proposed that he would pick up and her residence to start his time and she would pick up from his residence to start her time...

It is possible, and remember...you lawyer works for YOU! If you want to either meet half way or you pick up and she picks up then have your lawyer write a letter on your behalf. Don't back down on this point if its something you want... I am certain you can find MANY case law examples of this!

[wretchedotis]

I recently had a Judge tell me at settlement conference thaat it was his opinion that the non-custodial parent was responsable for travel - and that many had to pay for air fare to see their children, nevermind my complaining of a 45 minute drive.

What does that tell you?