Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law

Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2012, 04:31 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 283
nogoingback is on a distinguished road
Default Doctor's and dentist appointments

I have repeatedly asked my ex to inform me well in advance of my daughters' scheduled doctor's and dentist's appointments so that I can make arrangements to attend, to no avail. I found out today from my 7 year old daughter about her dental appointment yesterday.
We have a shared joint custody parenting arrangement. She is intentionally not communicating and trying to keep me at a distance.
What recourse do I have?
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2012, 09:21 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ottawa, ON
Posts: 994
FightingForFamily will become famous soon enough
Default

Contact the dental office and make the arrangement with them to notify you of appointments. Then your ex doesn't have the option of not telling you.

It's the kind of thing that also continuously pisses me off and sticks in my craw when I fought so hard for joint custody. You can document it and save it for the future if you ever need to go court...

*gives ex a cheque for swimming lessons*
*asks when his swimming lessons are because I'd like to go*
*informed his lessons finished a week ago*
*sigh*
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2012, 09:40 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Hamilton
Posts: 3,726
HammerDad will become famous soon enough
Default

FFF first point is pretty much bang on. Talk to the doctors, show them your order/agreement state that you wish to be informed of all appointments. Just know that most won't inform you anyway, as they won't want to get involved or will forget....but you will have to stay on them.

You should also write your ex a letter stating that you recently became aware that the kid(s) had an appointment with whomever. In accordance with clause x of your order/agreement (whatever clause gives you joint), both parents must agree on matters relating to school, religion and health. As such you wish to be informed of all future appointments for the kid(s) so that you may determine if you can attend.

That it is in the kids best interests that both parents be involved in the health and welfare of the child and that you don't agree with her unilaterally withholding the information of such appointments.

Rinse and repeat. Should your ex continue to fail to inform you, you can likely file a motion to compel her to inform you or maybe contempt.
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2012, 04:32 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 285
singledad99 is on a distinguished road
Default

You can't force someone to co-parent with you. There is really no need for both parents to be there at the appointments if one parent does not feel like it. What you can do is call the dentist and the doctors and stay up to date with the health status. I was going to suggest that you can also book the appointments and then invite the other parent to come with you, but that might increase the conflict. Have you tried phoning the doctor's/dentist's office and finding out when the next appointment is?

There is no need to increase the conflict just because your ex does not want you to be there at all the appointments, most of which I am sure are just the routine visits.
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 11-09-2012, 05:11 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 283
nogoingback is on a distinguished road
Default

[QUOTE=singledad99;115036]Have you tried phoning the doctor's/dentist's office and finding out when the next appointment is? QUOTE]

Not yet, but I plan to do so. They are usually annual appointments with so much time in between. I'm sure my ex is aware that the more time I spend doing these things, the more I have a case to eventually ask for 50/50 parenting.
I like the idea of scheduling the appointments and then inviting her, but I know she will flip out. I may also suggest that we alternate the appointments. Either way I have to do something.
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 11-09-2012, 05:26 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,242
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

please tell me that you are not just doing it to build your case?? That you were an involved parent and went to all the appointments before.
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 11-09-2012, 06:19 PM
Janus's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,342
Janus will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
please tell me that you are not just doing it to build your case?? That you were an involved parent and went to all the appointments before.
Why does that matter?

Nothing like having somebody try to steal your children to make you realize how much you want to do with them. Divorce is a very life and character-changing event, as we all know.

And, frankly, he shouldn't have to do this to build his case. Shared custody should be the presumptive situation unless there is serious and continuing abuse.
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 11-09-2012, 06:37 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 105
TiredOfTheDrama is on a distinguished road
Default

Maybe I'm wrong here, but for regular checkups do both parents really need to be there?

Did you both take the child previously as a couple?

I can understand if there was something had come up to cause concern or for a consult or even for very young children where both parents want the assurance that their child is fine.

It sounds like you are high conflict. Is it in the best interests of the child to have 2 parents sitting on opposite ends of a waiting room just to prove a point glaring daggers at one another? Fun times for your daughter.
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 11-09-2012, 06:58 PM
Janus's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,342
Janus will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredOfTheDrama View Post
It sounds like you are high conflict. Is it in the best interests of the child to have 2 parents sitting on opposite ends of a waiting room just to prove a point glaring daggers at one another? Fun times for your daughter.
It is in the best interests of the child to have a parent that is fully communicative. Clearly, the OP feels that his ex is not fulfilling that part of the parental obligation, and is taking steps to rectify the situation.

Frankly I think that alienation, even in its minor forms, is worse than two parents staring each other down in a waiting room.
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 11-09-2012, 07:10 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,242
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

yes but if they are acting stupid in a waiting room then the child is right there and sees its all. Is that really good for the child?
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:55 AM.