Divorce - Incarceration

[bubbbab]

Hubby goes to jail for murder, no chance of parole for 15 years. they separate legally, and after a year, she proceeds with uncontested divorce. She wants a fresh start, wants to break loose from what was always an unhappy relationship. Here's the question: Can she prevent the father from seeing and speaking to the child (11 years old) or can he force her to bring him for visits and force her to give him telephone access?

[Kimberley]

It would be best if this is asked to a lawyer. While it's a despicable crime, if it does not _actually_ put the child in danger then the onus is on the parent to show just cause as to why there should bot be any contact with the father.

[bubbbab]

Originally Posted by Kimberley

It would be best if this is asked to a lawyer. While it's a despicable crime, if it does not _actually_ put the child in danger then the onus is on the parent to show just cause as to why there should bot be any contact with the father.

Thanks for that. It's a neighbour and was quoted $500 to get an answer on that. It seemed a little steep,I was trying to get a feel for how such an item would play out. No offence intended, but is what you stated accurate from a legal perspective? Truth is, he's always been an awesome father. He has some pchyc barriers to get past over time, nut no risk to the child there AT ALL. At this point, she just doesn't want to have any contact with the ex. and she is the only way the youngster would be able to get to the Kingston area and her phone would be the only way he could call his son. She had her phone removed from the prison approved list.

Thanks again, for the response. Of course, she will have a lawyer involved, this is just a little pre-work.

[Kimberley]

Frankly it's not her 'right' to decide that the father should not see his own child regardless, so it's best that the court decide and allow the father the right to his son regardless of the crime. While there may be many who disagree, being incarcerated for something that did not (technically) involve the child should not remove his rights as a parent.

[bubbbab]

I agree. Being a parent, I can't imagine being without my kids, not could I imagine lilling someone over a financial issue. Nonetheless, my interest here is anyone's experience as it relates to the law in a situation similar to this. Thank you sincerely for your candid comments.

[canuck]

Doubtful that it could be forced upon her to take a child for a visit to a jail, regardless if he is the father.

Can't see why phone calls would be a huge problem, though

[bubbbab]

Thanks. I understand. Major issue now, is that he is freaking out over the divorce and the calls he was making were combination of pushing her to withdraw the uncontested divorce, and putting his son up to trying to do that same. Now the kid doesn't want to be the "agent" and pop is getting aggressive in that regard on the guilt side. I think he can get over the divorce in time, but he isn't now. Being friends with both (him the longest 35 years) it's hard. I speak to him once per day and her, maybe once every couple of weeks. He has had me send her emails and texts before, but now that she has asked me not to forward messages from him, I don't think I can anymore, yet he wants me to. It's all quite an ordeal. Thanks for all for the comments. This thing has been so hard on both of them, as well as, and especially the young fella.

[FL_Needs_To_Change]

I was in a similar situation, except the crime my ex committed was not that bad.
Judge "recommended" that the child be permitted access to the father despite his incarceration. However, I was to ensure that it would not interfere with the children's emotional or physical wellbeing.

I sought the advise of professionals on how this would affect the children and then made the choice that they would not have access, but I also had my lawyer tell this to the judge to ensure this was OK.

[bubbbab]

Thanks for that FL..... That is quite a good parallel and it seems that you followed all of the right steps. I will pass this on to both with hopes that they can agree.