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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 02-02-2017, 02:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetie79 View Post
Loving Father ,
His position back then ? Lol He asked for nothing. I asked for custody , I offered him visitation every other weekend , his birthday , the kids birthday, half of March break , alternating full weeks through the summer months , alternating week to be rotated for Christmas & New years so the we each had a chance to have the kids for Christmas AND whatever other reasonable visitation to be agreed between us.
That is what I offered. He signed without complain with his " duty counselor " and I signed with my " duty counselor " . He didn't ask for anything !!!!
He probably didn't think he could get more. That type of order was probably the norm back then.

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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 02-02-2017, 02:14 PM
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Be prepared to answer why it took you so long to seek child support for your kids if you decide to seek support.

You want to get re married then woke up to realize you're still married to someone who hasn't been paying you child support for the last decade?

He should have paid, he didn't and you didn't do anything about it.

Let it go on consent if you want to avoid the battle of your life time.

Last edited by trinton; 02-02-2017 at 02:19 PM.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 02-02-2017, 02:34 PM
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No, she should definitely get child support, I would file for CS in her position, it is pretty much a slam dunk.

I get the impression that she wants the divorce more than the CS. I think she can get both with not much of a fight at all.

Get CS ordered, get the divorce, and then let FRO fight with the father to extract some money from him. If they do, wonderful. If they don't, no real loss compared to the current situation.

I get a little pissy when people decide that their latest sexual partner is a parent, but that doesn't mean that the real dad shouldn't be paying CS in this situation. He left the kids, he should pay.
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Old 02-02-2017, 02:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Janus View Post
No, she should definitely get child support, I would file for CS in her position, it is pretty much a slam dunk.

I get the impression that she wants the divorce more than the CS. I think she can get both with not much of a fight at all.

Get CS ordered, get the divorce, and then let FRO fight with the father to extract some money from him. If they do, wonderful. If they don't, no real loss compared to the current situation.

I get a little pissy when people decide that their latest sexual partner is a parent, but that doesn't mean that the real dad shouldn't be paying CS in this situation. He left the kids, he should pay.
She has to go to trial. She won't get it all if she delayed persuing it knowing the current amound wasn't being paid. Almost as if she was guilty of keeping children in poverty by not doing anything about it.

What now i have to go to court to get a divorce order I may as well deal with that CS thing that will gold this up, but it wasn't an important issue for me until I realized I can't merry my new partner without it.

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Old 02-02-2017, 03:01 PM
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Triton,

I didn't wake up, as you put it.
I know full well that I am still legally married to my ex. Should I have filled for divorce back then? yes. Am I (the kids) entitled to cs? Yes.
What else can I say? I was very young, we all make mistakes in life. I paid a high price for mine.
I am not a heartless ex wife like many I read about. Kids are not and should not be used as pawns in a game. I am a full believer that the more the merrier. Biological parents, step parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles , family friends that end up becoming aunts and uncles (by friendship) the better. The more loving people kids have around them, the better, happier and stable they will be.
Was he a shitty husband? Hell yes. Was I too young and immature? Absolutely. Is that the kids fault ? ABSOLUTELY NOT !!!!
Mistakes were made between me and him, things didn't work out. I don't hate him, I don't wish him harm as a matter of fact, I feel nothing.

I have re built my life. I have found a loving partner who is there for me and my kids. I am not the 1st and won't be the last person to go through a bad relationship.
I am not wanting to "get him back" throw him in jail, have his life be turned upside down. This is not about revenge. This is merely about me putting a legal end to a union that didn't work out.
I have moved on emotionally now I want to move on legally.

Read the original post. I DON"T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY ! I don't need it. I don't want the back cs, I don't want to drag this in court. I just want the divorce.
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Old 02-02-2017, 03:07 PM
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In another thread "ignorance" of the law is considered by some to be a valid change of circumstances.

Why then, would not "ignorance" of the law, regarding child support as it relates to divorce, also be a valid point to consider?
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Old 02-02-2017, 03:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetie79 View Post

A real father doesn't disappear from their kids life. A real father will take them to the park and kick a soccer ball with them , will sit down and watch barney , teletubies, dora , bratz. A real parent will be able to sing all the songs and will even dance when the video is being watched for the hundredth time .
Give me a fucking break.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 02-02-2017, 03:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
I get a little pissy when people decide that their latest sexual partner is a parent, but that doesn't mean that the real dad shouldn't be paying CS in this situation. He left the kids, he should pay.
Janus,
I understand what you are saying. However he is not JUST my latest sexual partner.
I met him a few months after I split from my ex. We moved in together a few months after that. He is not the bio father but he has been the one helping me raise them for the past 12 years. He is a dad to my kids. He has been there through thick and thin for me and for my kids. He is an awesome, kind-hearted man. He has never tried to "play dad" if you know what I mean. He never interfered with the kids relationship with bio father and neither have I.
Life is what it is. It's normal for the kids to love him and respect him.
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 02-02-2017, 03:41 PM
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The fact that he owes retroactive CS shouldn't stop the divorce from proceeding. Having CS ordered and having CS actually paid are two different things handled by two different bureaucracies. The court will make an order for CS as part of your divorce. If he isn't paying it, you have the opportunity to engage another bureaucracy (FRO in Ontario, MEP in Alberta, other names in other places ...) to collect on the amount owing. You can decide whether you really want to push the collection process or whether you want to just leave it alone. You can still get divorced.

You also don't need to justify why you want to get divorced or what role the kids' father has played (or not played) over the past years. They're teenagers now so it's all water under the bridge.
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Old 02-02-2017, 03:48 PM
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Sweetie...lol, you don't have to respond to stupidity. You have to understand that there is a group of very bitter men here who loathe women...especially ones who move on happily with their lives with good men.

Clearly your new husband has stepped into the role of fathering your children and thank goodness for him. I have a new husband who's had to make up for the deficiencies of their biological father...and such men deserve nothing but praise. And women who get out of bad relationships and do better for themselves and their kids the second time around deserve credit for getting wise and getting their lives together. You don't have to explain yourself or justify trying to do the right thing to anyone. Being a parent is a role...its one that you've fulfilled and unfortunately their other biological parent hasn't. When that happens, the best thing you can do for your child is find a better substitute that can help meet those needs...and that's what you've done.

Bottom line, you can definitely get divorced without the CS issue being solved. You're past the effective separation point and there's no reason why your divorce can't be finalized.

Go see a lawyer who can walk you through the required paperwork. Personally, I'd shop around and find the cheapest possible one because you have an easy file.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Last edited by Pursuinghappiness; 02-02-2017 at 04:01 PM.
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