Divorce before custody settled?

[StandingMyGround]

I have been in a custody dispute for almost 2 years...first through mediation, then through our lawyers, back to mediation and now in the courts. My question is can the divorce be final, i.e. we are no longer married, even while we continue to fight in the courts over custody? The details of custody, access and support could take years to settle. Do I have to still be legally married to him, or can we be divorced? Psychologically I need this. Also, I would like to start the anulment proceedings, which can't start until I'm legally divorced.

[logicalvelocity]

StandingMyGround,

Its allways best to have all the issues settled before divorce. Part of the divorce process, the Judge will review that it is resonable and as per the guidlines. Child support cannot really be ordered unless Custody is settled.

lv

[Lindsay]

Hi StandingMyGround,

It is possible to sever the divorce from the other outstanding issues. I believe you can do this on consent of the parties or, in the alternative, by motion. In your affidavit material you would include your reasons for wanting the divorce (as stated in your post below).

Lindsay

[serrona]

I have also been in a battle for years and I so desperatly want a divorce. I have been with another partner for a long time and we very much want to be married and have a child together. My girlfriend recently had a large fibroid tumor removed from her uterus and her specialist is telling us that we need to have a baby within a year because there are other small tumors growing and if we wait too long we may never be able to conceive. We were really wanting to be married first. My lawyer says that I can't get officially divorced without having everything settled first. I think it's crazy that anyone has to wait for this long to sever ties with the person they no longer love or want to be with.

Is it possible that a judge would grant the divorce in circumstances such as mine and my partners?

Thanks so much

[serrona]

I have also been in a battle for years and I so desperatly want a divorce. I have been with another partner for a long time and we very much want to be married and have a child together. My girlfriend recently had a large fibroid tumor removed from her uterus and her specialist is telling us that we need to have a baby within a year because there are other small tumors growing and if we wait too long we may never be able to conceive. We were really wanting to be married first. My lawyer says that I can't get officially divorced without having everything settled first. I think it's crazy that anyone has to wait for this long to sever ties with the person they no longer love or want to be with.

Is it possible that a judge would grant the divorce in circumstances such as mine and my partners?

[serrona]

I am forced to respond to my own previous post because no one here ever did. I am very desperate to find this info out! My new partner is very ill and if we do not act soon we may never have children together. Of course we want to be married first, and if we are told that my divorce is NOT going to happen due to our special circumstances then we will try to get pregnant despite the fact that I cannot get the divorce finalized. But, certainly one could understand that we want a clean break and to be married first. PLEASE, would someone answer my last few posts!!!!

[jlalex]

Serrona,

I'm not an expert but I'll do the best that I can

You *can* ask the judge to severe the issues and try to obtain the divorce before the other issues are settled, but my understanding is that judges are very reluctant to do this. I know personally in my divorce situation I asked about having the issues seperated since it was taking so long (7 years) and my lawyer advised me that I could try but its unlikley and probably a waste of money. But I didn't have the same set of circumstances that you have. So you could instruct your lawyer to try, but since they are advising against it, it sounds as if they are trying to work in your best interests, since if they were just out for money they would go ahead to file knowing there was very little chance of success.

The only other way I know is to ask you ex's permission to severe the issues, if they give consent then it's probable that a judge will go ahead with it.


As for no one answering your post I find that I'm more successful posting a brand new thread than tagging onto someone elses. Those that may have answered in the past may not go back to review further posts as they have said all they had to say.

Good luck and best wishes.
Jlalex