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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 10-19-2017, 04:05 PM
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Default Dealing with with conflicts after settlement

We achieve a major milestone in reaching a settlement agreement which is worth a celebration.

The question now I have is what legal avenue I have to deal with conflicts which will arise with co-parenting moving forward? This will mostly be related to matters dealing with child access schedule, activities, school, and religion.

Talking with the other party is out of the question. Email or text is our only medium of communication.

I have heard of using a family mediator but both parties must agree to this and my ex-wife will not.

Thanks in advance.
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Old 10-20-2017, 10:39 AM
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What was settled? That list doesn't sound like anything was. Your settlement agreement should access all these things so that each party knows the expectations and thus should require little to no discussion about it going forward.
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Old 10-20-2017, 01:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by e28makaveli View Post
The question now I have is what legal avenue I have to deal with conflicts which will arise with co-parenting moving forward? This will mostly be related to matters dealing with child access schedule, activities, school, and religion.
Child access: Should have been completely decided in your separation agreement. If your agreement leaves room for argument, the only way forward is with the courts. That was a lousy agreement.

Activities: Activities on your time you decide. Activities on her time she decides. There shouldn't be any conflict.

School: Should have been completely decided in your separation agreement. If your agreement leaves room for argument, the only way forward is with the courts. That was a lousy agreement. (Minor exception, when they switch levels that could be an argument, then agreement was fine, time for court)

Religion: Should have been completely decided in your separation agreement. If your agreement leaves room for argument, the only way forward is with the courts. That was a lousy agreement.

Last edited by Janus; 10-20-2017 at 01:06 PM. Reason: swallowed an important word, regurgitated it
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Old 10-20-2017, 01:12 PM
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if your agreement is anything like mine:

sole custody mom.

access to dad as such further and other times as the paries can agree

dad pay child support

then, oh buddy you have no idea what you are in for.

EVERYTHING will need to be spelled out letter by letter.

Is it joint custody ?

What are the specified access terms, what about holidays and long weekends? What about travel plans? Summer schedule ? Who takes child to which activities, doctor appointments, etc ?

What about section 7 expenses? Does mom just sign up and text you a bill with interest owning or does she have to consult and obtain your consent first? How would these costs be dvided? Does mom simply demand cash from you or do you guy split it proportional to your incomes and take into amount the tax benefits ?

Who get's child tax benefits ? Do you have acess for equal or more than to 40% of the time in a year ? If so, is there offset child support ?

If it is sole custody, then there is a million clauses you can (and should) put in there so they don't just walk over you.

What about move? Can mom just get up and move to another city tomorrow and you have to follow her tail to stay in your kids life ? Or does she have to stay here and get you to agree first ?

Are you allowed to pick up / drop off kids to/from school ? Are you given right to get information from 3rd parties without mom's consent ? the right to information is in the provision but some doctors are just assholes, and you have to motion their asses to courts to get them to release their records.

What about child's health card? WHo get's that, do you get a photo of it for when child is in your care? What about the passport? Who get's that? Who pay's for it? Do you get to have it when you travel ?

^Most of these wouldn't be an issue if your ex was normal. My ex is not a "yes" person and is a "no" person. So I have had to get help from the court on every single issue listed above.

Last edited by trinton; 10-20-2017 at 01:16 PM.
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Old 10-23-2017, 05:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
if your agreement is anything like mine:

sole custody mom.

access to dad as such further and other times as the paries can agree

dad pay child support

then, oh buddy you have no idea what you are in for.

EVERYTHING will need to be spelled out letter by letter.

Is it joint custody ?

What are the specified access terms, what about holidays and long weekends? What about travel plans? Summer schedule ? Who takes child to which activities, doctor appointments, etc ?

What about section 7 expenses? Does mom just sign up and text you a bill with interest owning or does she have to consult and obtain your consent first? How would these costs be dvided? Does mom simply demand cash from you or do you guy split it proportional to your incomes and take into amount the tax benefits ?

Who get's child tax benefits ? Do you have acess for equal or more than to 40% of the time in a year ? If so, is there offset child support ?

If it is sole custody, then there is a million clauses you can (and should) put in there so they don't just walk over you.

What about move? Can mom just get up and move to another city tomorrow and you have to follow her tail to stay in your kids life ? Or does she have to stay here and get you to agree first ?

Are you allowed to pick up / drop off kids to/from school ? Are you given right to get information from 3rd parties without mom's consent ? the right to information is in the provision but some doctors are just assholes, and you have to motion their asses to courts to get them to release their records.

What about child's health card? WHo get's that, do you get a photo of it for when child is in your care? What about the passport? Who get's that? Who pay's for it? Do you get to have it when you travel ?

^Most of these wouldn't be an issue if your ex was normal. My ex is not a "yes" person and is a "no" person. So I have had to get help from the court on every single issue listed above.
Same for me. We reached an agreement (STBX finally agreed to my proposal on custody on the eve of the trial). Had to deal with the Court on all issues. I am awaiting the Court decision on property division and on the project of the order. I had to object to the minutes of settlement on custody that her lawyer turned into an order because he was not following my proposal. This issue had to be brought forward in front of the justice on the day of our property trial. All this to waste time and of course, to bill his client.
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