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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 03-03-2011, 09:23 AM
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Thumbs down Dead Beat Dads vs. Good Dads

I have a question..how will a court decide who is a "dead beat dad" vs. the dads out there who really are great dads.

I have an ex that has been living under the radar since 1993, and has just been located. There have been several court dates in which he didn't show, and just now showed up because the court found his whereabouts. he stated in court that he has been an "upstanding citizen" in an Uncontested Trial. This matter went to trial because he had not disclosed any financial information and just avoided everything. At the uncontested, he spoke, saying he has been an "upstanding citizen since June 2010". Now to, I find that hilarous..he still has not filed the correct info. He took one last ditch effort, I had his materials dismissed, yet again but she put the matter over. His "I am clean" act,,does anyone know how this will go in court..I know there is no 100% guarantee, but there are so many dads, who live up to their obligations who get rung through the court system,,then you have guys like this, and it gets put over...any suggestions?
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Old 03-03-2011, 09:30 AM
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Yeah, stay the course and be patient. Be very very patient.

If you see it through his true colours will be revealed.
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Old 03-03-2011, 09:36 AM
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Okay...very hard to do...I must say. The matter was put over because his lawyer acting as his "agent" had to leave that day. My ex said his stuff was not filed because he owed his lawyer money and the lawyer would not send. This lawyer, has been to court with him 3 times, first time as his lawyer, last two times working as his "agent for the day". His story does not make sense. The paperwork I tried to serve him with to this lawyer, told me (and I have copies of the email trail) he was no longer on record and to serve him personally. So he dodged service but then served me two days before the uncontested trial. So I am confused
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Old 03-03-2011, 10:22 AM
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I agree with DTTE. It's horrible, but time does reveal all things. It's the waiting and uncertainty that sucks outloud.
Did you try a postal service, that way you have a papertrail showing your efforts to contact/serve him? Emails are good too.
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Old 03-03-2011, 10:28 AM
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Oh yes,,,all the emails between his then lawyer and myself, I have copies of. The material I served, FINALLY served on the respondent I went prepaid postal and all receipts, signature of receipt is filed in my Continuing Record.

This is it in a nutshell...

I have tried, on 5 occasions, since 2002 to bring this matter in front of the court. He has not shown to any of the matters. Three arrests later, he finally surfaced in June, 2010 where he was ordered to confirm his address, work location, etc..so I am finally in a position to bring the matter in front of the court. I sent two letters to him, in July and Sept respectively outlining what needed to be addressed. He did not respond.

Then in mid September the respondent served me with a Motion to Change, in the Motion to Change he would not provide updated paystubs and did not have any tax information, and it should not have been allowed to be filed in the first place. I pushed to have it dismissed in front of the clerk as this was the first appearance...we waiting to see the judge, this was November 25th and I had his motion dismissed. I then submitted my own Motion to Change, filed with the court on December 1, 2010. He dodged service. I had to go back to court to ask for alternate service; this was done on January 6, 2011. At the time another first appearance was scheduled for February 17th. He refused to file. I received nothing. On the February 17th court date, he showed up but still with no information but with his lawyer stating he was only "acting as agent for the day". As he was way out of his filing, the duty counsel I spoke with said to push for Uncontested. We stood before the clerk, I requested the Uncontested Trial, the lawyer asked if I wanted to give him more time, I said and it was granted; Uncontested Trial set for Monday February 28th. Thursday February 24th I received his late motion material sworn only by his lawyer. We all arrived to court on February 28th for the Uncontested Trial and they argued to have his paperwork submitted. The respondent had outbursts, it went back and forth, he said he has been an "upstanding citizen since June 2010". I told the judge I had not come to argue with the respondent, he made claims about his lawyer who had left but left another lawyer acting as "his" agent so she finally said she needed the lawyer there, would not accept his motion and it was put over until April 18th..I don't get it.
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Old 03-03-2011, 10:29 AM
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I have also gone over his paperwork that was dismissed by the judge on February 28th and he still, will only provide 1 paystub...will this end? Will I need to revisit this whole matter again on the new April 18th date?
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Old 03-03-2011, 12:04 PM
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*sigh* I am going through a similar issue with financial issues with my ex. he want's to change our current divorce order so that he never has to show his income tax reports (he never has), drop what he pays in child support, put a cap on it and have me agree to never involve the FRO. I want to go to court just so I can hear what the Judge thinks of that nonsense. You have kids? Has he ever paid support at all?
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Old 03-03-2011, 12:43 PM
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No..the only time I have seen anything is from a Federal garnishment and his three arrests..outside of that, no,,,the statement of arrears clearly shows this. The court will NEVER agree to him not showing you his income and you should not agree to that, AND keep FRO in...it will really help you.
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Old 03-03-2011, 05:35 PM
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So sorry, that's horrible Mine didn't pay for the first 2 years. Still haven't gotten that, just wanted him to start paying and now I'm wondering if I can still ask for that as arrears. One of my best friends' father skipped out after he was ordered to pay 4 years of arears. He never gave their mom one cent to take care of her or her sister after leaving her for her best friend. Broke my heart.
I was ont he FRO site and they really go after the non payers. They garnish wages, empty bank accounts, put liens on houses, stop lottery payments, cancel drivers licences as well as passports and I believe they go after income tax and EI as well. Have you tried that?
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Old 03-04-2011, 09:05 AM
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You can ask for that...but is there a reason you have not asked in the past two years? My reasoning is simple. He dodged the system and would not divuldge where he was. He was finally arrested, for a 3rd time on June 24th, 2010 and just now am I in a position to bring a variation in front of the court. He has not submitted, until this time any wages so it just accumulated. He has been in default, arrested for his defaults and that is when a payment came directly from that. Otherwise, yes, there were federal garnishments against him, he has had his license revoked since March 2007, and this is the 2nd or 3rd time for that, I have been through it all. Patience, is what I am learning.
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