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-   -   daily phone calls during summer access? (http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f3/daily-phone-calls-during-summer-access-21279/)

tunnelight 08-21-2017 09:40 PM

daily phone calls during summer access?
 
The other parent in my case has a history of telling child she will miss her when child is visiting with me and exacerbating these concerns as opposed to alleviating them.

now on my summer week, has asked child to call mom daily, child asks and I accommodate but it is sort of annoying during my summer week where it is supposed to me just me and child, no mom and no ex. our time together. what is best way to say no to your child and communicate that it is our time time to together and you will see mom at the end of the week ? These are no quick phone calls, mom gets on and will talk and talk and talk with child just chewing up through my limited parenting times. daily calls are a bit much, IMO. I am however always facilitating phone calls with other parent when child wants to talk but on my summer holidays, it's becoming a bit of a nuisance.

any tips and words of wisdom ? OCL is investigating and other parent has made allegations that I don't allow child to call the other parent, which is presently just a bag of baloney.

arabian 08-21-2017 10:04 PM

Children are easily distracted. Keep child busy.

Set a limit on the time and duration of the phone call. (5 minutes - enough time to say Hi and Bye). Then carry on with your day/evening.

Don't always be available. Turn phone to silent.

Rules at your house... different rules at mom's house. Simple.

Berner_Faith 08-22-2017 08:49 AM

We battle the same thing... my husbands ex has been facetiming the children daily during our summer weeks... our solution for next week is to deactivate FaceTime. Mom has been told that daily facetiming is not acceptable.

It is mostly an issue with my step daughter... Mom constantly tells the children how much she misses them and how she cries when they are not there. In our opinion that is not okay. Thus their iPod time and FaceTime will be monitored. The kids have tons to do at our house they don't need to spend hours on an iPod


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foreverhome 08-22-2017 09:48 AM

child has RIGHT to speak to another parent if child wants to. if child complains you prevent her form speaking to her mom, you can get in trouble.
Make your time with your child interesting, be creative, so the child doesn't feel like she has to call her mom all the time.

arabian 08-22-2017 11:07 AM

A solution to this might to be to plan a week-long camping trip away from phones (oh gosh can people really do this?).

Getting children away from their electronics is probably a very healthy thing to do. This is why I always favored summer camps where no electronics were permitted. Kids learn (and likely adults) to like themselves and value 'alone-time.'

lulubuttons 08-22-2017 11:39 AM

The same happens in our house. Kid gets picked up at 2pm and by 8pm has to be on the phone with the "mother" for an hour. It's ridiculous. It will never stop either so get used to it.

rockscan 08-22-2017 12:07 PM

When my partners kids were visiting, the ex would text and call them constantly during their 48 hour visit. To the point where my partner told them no phones at the table or while they were doing activities together. The ex capitalized on this and told the kids he was trying to prevent them from having a healthy connection to her. Meanwhile if he asked her to facilitate the kids contacting him ONCE a week, she blasted him that they had busy lives and he shouldnt expect anything.

Its not unreasonable to set time limits or even refuse calls. You are their parent, if the other parent has an issue thats their problem.

Berner_Faith 08-22-2017 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by foreverhome (Post 222976)
child has RIGHT to speak to another parent if child wants to. if child complains you prevent her form speaking to her mom, you can get in trouble.
Make your time with your child interesting, be creative, so the child doesn't feel like she has to call her mom all the time.



You're assuming the child wants to talk to mom... it's the Mom calling the child not the other way around. If mom doesn't call, child doesn't ask. But when Mom FaceTimes the child at 7:30am every morning? That's a little extreme. We have a right to say no electronics at certain times and this is what will be happening. If child requests to call it is never denied but it's NOT the child requesting.. it is the MOM calling daily


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SadAndTired 08-22-2017 07:09 PM

Funny, I have a different experience.

Ex has called our girls almost nightly for 6 years. I call them nightly when they are with him.

Ex is an EOW dad. I like that he calls them. Things happen during their day that they want to tell him. It is only a few minutes a night but it helps them stay connected. I guess it works because we are both reasonable about it.

They are also older and he calls the home phone so we don't have to talk.

arabian 08-22-2017 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SadAndTired (Post 222993)
Funny, I have a different experience.

Ex has called our girls almost nightly for 6 years. I call them nightly when they are with him.

Ex is an EOW dad. I like that he calls them. Things happen during their day that they want to tell him. It is only a few minutes a night but it helps them stay connected. I guess it works because we are both reasonable about it.

They are also older and he calls the home phone so we don't have to talk.

You and your ex will have a huge dispute over Facetime when your kids get married... how you gonna make it through their honeymoons? LOL


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