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-   -   Custody dispute - 15 y.o. wants to live with mom (http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f3/custody-dispute-15-y-o-wants-live-mom-21237/)

foreverhome 07-29-2017 02:13 AM

Custody dispute - 15 y.o. wants to live with mom
 
Separated a year ago. Son lives with his mom in matrimonial home.Dad lives by himself, kid sees him twice a week. Mom wants full custody. Son wants to live with mom. Dad doesn't want to pay child support and wants son to live 40 or 50% of a time with him.
Can a child be forced to live with dad against his will? What if kid leaves dad's home and just walks to his mom? Who reinforce access time? Police? Court?

arabian 07-29-2017 02:31 AM

Teenagers (15) can pretty much opt to live where they want. Courts ($$$$), cops etc. probably won't do anything.

Parents need to get over themselves and P A R E N T..... encourage the son to spend equal amount of time with father (unless of course you're raising a momma's boy).

foreverhome 07-29-2017 03:52 AM

Child is encouraged to be with both parents, but prefer to live with the mother. He considers his home where mother lives (matrimonial one), partly because he feels more like home there and partly because his dad left his mom for another woman.
A 5 year old child doesn't have a choice about access, they know no better. But I was curious about reinforcing access schedule for 15 y.o. Dad want to reinforce it and fight in court for 50%

Berner_Faith 07-29-2017 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by foreverhome (Post 222503)
Child is encouraged to be with both parents, but prefer to live with the mother. He considers his home where mother lives (matrimonial one), partly because he feels more like home there and partly because his dad left his mom for another woman.

A 5 year old child doesn't have a choice about access, they know no better. But I was curious about reinforcing access schedule for 15 y.o. Dad want to reinforce it and fight in court for 50%



Your question was answered above. A 15 year old cannot be forced into a 50-50 situation. It just won't happen. At that age the child could move out on his own and there is nothing parents could do about it. Dad won't be able to force this issue and if the teenager stays with mom then Dad will be paying full CS despite what dad wants.


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foreverhome 07-29-2017 10:52 AM

Thank you!

Rioe 07-29-2017 04:40 PM

I think that often happens with children of any age. Whoever ends up in the matrimonial home has a strong advantage with the children wanting to stay there. It's probably one of the best reasons to sell a matrimonial home and split the proceeds.

Now add in that the kid is a teenager who is perfectly capable of leaving dad's house and going 'home' and there's just no fighting it, and courts realize this.

It's mom's obligation though, to encourage the kid to spend time with dad though, maybe dinners at the other house, movie nights with dad, etc.

And this particular situation also includes the teenager siding with mom after the break-up. Kids often have a strong sense of justice, and it's apparent that dad was in the wrong here.

denbigh 07-29-2017 05:20 PM

Would this situation even get to court? If courts and police can't really enforce it would a lawyer tell the dad to not bother? It seems like a lot of money to spend on lawyers for both sides if the child is just going to leave and go to the other home anyway.

Aghast 07-31-2017 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by denbigh (Post 222520)
Would this situation even get to court? If courts and police can't really enforce it would a lawyer tell the dad to not bother? It seems like a lot of money to spend on lawyers for both sides if the child is just going to leave and go to the other home anyway.

It is surprising what people will go to court for. It seems as if sometimes people just want their story heard and in court they get to tell it.

plainNamedDad44 07-31-2017 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by foreverhome (Post 222500)
Separated a year ago. Son lives with his mom in matrimonial home.Dad lives by himself, kid sees him twice a week. Mom wants full custody. Son wants to live with mom. Dad doesn't want to pay child support and wants son to live 40 or 50% of a time with him.
Can a child be forced to live with dad against his will? What if kid leaves dad's home and just walks to his mom? Who reinforce access time? Police? Court?


There is nothing you can do.

mafia007 07-31-2017 11:53 PM

My STBX was always away... almost every night she would be leaving at 7-7h30 and would come back around 3 am. I was doing the homework with the kids and putting them to bed. When we separated, we kept leaving in the same house but in different rooms for over 6 months. She then changed the locks and made false allegations of abuse and DV. I couldn't re-enter the house and had no access with the kids for a long time. She is still in the matrimonial home with the kids and this has been going for almost 3 years.

Today, the kids have decided to stay with mom because they are used to stay there. Was this all planned by the mother to be this way... of course. Can I and will the justice do anything about it? Nope! It was a setup against me and I will have to pay. Is it because the children saw that I was wrong? Nope... It's clearly because the mother had implicated the children in the conflict to gain their loyalty. I have full of evidences to disclose in front of justice. Will it bring back the relation I used to have with my children? Nope. This is the truth in Canadian Divorce. If a parent uses the children over 12 years old as pawns, the non-custodial parent will pay and the other parent will get what he wants with no penalty. Court do not care how it was achieved as they stand with the BIOC. At that age, there is nothing we can do.


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