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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 10-23-2017, 10:52 PM
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Default custodial parent working night shifts

custodial parent is now working night shifts, and leaving child with grandmother overnight, who has health issues and is a heavy smoker.

thoughts ? material change ?
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Old 10-23-2017, 11:06 PM
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Not even close. No evidence that child is suffering or in danger. You going to put the grandmother and her medical doctors on the stand?

If CAS isn't concerned then the courts will not be concerned.

Isn't it a good thing that your ex is working? Or are you frustrated that you can't refer to her as lazy? Sounds to me that she is doing things correctly.

I'm a smoker. My son has asthma. I didn't smoke around my son.
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Old 10-24-2017, 12:00 PM
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My husbands ex worked nights for over two years, kids stayed at their grandparents every night. Nothing we could do... she was working on her time and was entitled to find suitable childcare. Kids hated it and expressed this but still didnít matter


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Old 10-24-2017, 02:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
custodial parent is now working night shifts, and leaving child with grandmother overnight, who has health issues and is a heavy smoker.

thoughts ? material change ?
Not a material change.

Is the grandmother blowing the smoke into the child's face? Last time I checked smoking wasn't illegal and they sell cigarettes at the corner store. Soon they will be selling weed there too.

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In hotly contested child custody and access disputes, a contentious matter that often arises is the right of first refusal. Typically this refers to situations where a parent is unable to meet an obligation for the care of the child and that parent may then consider the use of a baby-sitter over the other parent. In such situations, the other parent seeks to have this right of first refusal to care for their child in lieu of resorting to a baby-sitter.

In these acrimonious disputes, both parents seek to withhold the child from the other parent even when they themselves are not available. There is such an animosity, that both do not want to give any perceived advantage of a special relationship with the child to the other parent by virtue of more time. This matter also rears its ugly head when one or other parent has a new partner that the other parent does not accept.

As the parents enter combat over the right of first refusal, the game playing heats up. If the parent who is unable to meet their obligation uses a grandparent or allows the child a sleepover with a friend or other family member from their side, is that contravening this right of first refusal? This becomes a very sticky point, as both parents can be remarkably manipulative at withholding or at least not supporting the relationship with the other parent whilst coming up with ways to beat the rules.
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Old 10-24-2017, 05:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Not a material change.

Is the grandmother blowing the smoke into the child's face? Last time I checked smoking wasn't illegal and they sell cigarettes at the corner store. Soon they will be selling weed there too.

What if this happened after a material change, or as part of a material change?

CAS won't have issue unless I call them. They did have issue with mom smoking in house with child and told her to smoke outside. Would probably say same to grandmother. Anyway, forget the whole smoking thing.

Anyways, when there is been a material change and custody and access is being looked into.. would you say parents should get time before grandparents ?
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Old 10-24-2017, 06:42 PM
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It isnt a material change. She's arrangimg childcare for the child during her time, which she is entitled to do regardless of time of day.

What is the material change and how does this relate to it?
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Old 10-24-2017, 07:32 PM
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Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
It isnt a material change. She's arrangimg childcare for the child during her time, which she is entitled to do regardless of time of day.

What is the material change and how does this relate to it?
overnightchildcare 5 days a week? that isn't a change in moms life effecting the child ? since when working nights had no impact on children ?

daycare is in mornings, when mom is actually off work. double daycare. I could understand if CAS was involved and placed child with grandparent. but if father is available why should grandmother take over father ? since when did grandmother's get such big entitlement to access with children?

material change is conflict leading to CAS and police involvement, inability to agree on regular holiday schedule leading to issues with regular access and police involvement. child struggling at school. and CAS raising concerns that child's been impacted by conflict. basically the conflict is material change.

access is being looked into from fresh inquiry. why should child be with grandparents when parents are available ? is mom really facilitating maximum contact with me or the complete opposite?

Last edited by trinton; 10-24-2017 at 07:41 PM.
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Old 10-24-2017, 07:39 PM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Sounds to me that she is doing things correctly.
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Until you see child's report cards and school absences.
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Old 10-24-2017, 08:37 PM
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The kid is asleep. The kid would be asleep overnight regardless of where they are. It is fortunate that mom can have gramma look after the kid overnight since overnight daycares (which she is well within her rights to choose to use) cost a fortune. And the kid is fortunate to have that relationship with the extended family.

Sounds to me like you do not have a clear understanding of what constitutes a material change.
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Old 10-24-2017, 08:48 PM
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https://family-law.freeadvice.com/fa...cumstances.htm

It would have to be a change that could not reasonably have been expected when the agreement was made. Was it unreasonable to expect that she would either seek employment or that her hours may change and that childcare would be needed? Absolutely not.
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