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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 01-04-2015, 04:02 PM
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Thanks everyone, this gives me peace of mind and a game plan.

Rioe, when you say documentation, what are you thinking is valid?
I think I would have to present previous and before evidence?

School Schedule
1. Before he was inconsistent in his school schedule (she would decide on when he goes)
2. Now he goes every day to daycare with Fridays going to her
Documentation - get copies from daycare

Sleeping schedule
1. Before - I have no evidence of it except our actual pick up times
2. After - I have time schedules / calendar of when I pick him up.
Documentation - I have our schedule calendar

Behavioral
He is happier and has a routine, he never wants to leave my house at 8PM after he's all settled in, ready for bedtime. But had to because of court order.
Now, he's more content we have time to do homework, dinnner etc with no rush.
It's obvious that as a human being you feel better. How would an adult feel if he has be shuffled M-Thursday after 5PM, stay at someone's house till 8 and then move again?
What documentation would I need for that? I'm not a trained psychologist but is it fair to assume structure and routine is an obvious benefit.

Learning
- I do homework with him on a weekly basis, I can provide his work etc...as photocopies of his ability to draw, color and write letters.

Extracurricular activities
- I enrolled him in Sportball, since I had him weekly, I was able to take him....not sure if that is a benefit?
Documentation - I will provide the registration and pictures.

Supervision and guidance
- On this current schedule, I am able to be there for him as stated above to feed him dinner, do homework, activities etc. as she is working at those times.
Documentation - nothing..except pictures.

That's all I got....please help. Not sure if I have anything good here.


The week on week off does not work as she is not there at those times between 5-8 anyways, and there is nobody to look after him anyways logistically outside of me which he has been accustomed to since March when she started this job.
- Second, for me to transport him to her house at 8:30PM when she is off is not in his best interest. We do it so she gets to sleep with him?

I am going to propose that she gets him Friday 7 AM to Saturday 11AM and Sunday 5Pm to Monday 11AM (she can drop him off at dayhome). Tuesday, I will drop him off at her place at 7AM and she can drop him off dayhome at 11AM.

Should I give her Saturday overnights as well since she doesn't work then...but that would give me no weekends with him...we would then be missing out on alot of stuff. What about every other Saturday night? I hate being fair as I know she wouldn't do the same but I'm trying to think in his best interest.

Effectively then he only goes to Monterssori for 3 days a week. I talked to the school and they said it is okay he does this, he is not missing out if he is not fulltime, as social interaction is the most important.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 01-04-2015, 04:08 PM
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I'm not an expert on documentation, but I would think things like school report cards from before and after the custody change showing an improvement in grades would be a great thing to have.

A journal keeping track of exchanges and his moods, showing that they have improved with the consistent schedule.

Photos of him having a great time at Sportball, an activity made possible by the consistent schedule.

Anything you have that can compare before and after the custody change, and show benefits from the current schedule.
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Old 01-04-2015, 05:34 PM
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He's in preschool and I have been asking about his progress and they said he's smart, intelligent and has caught up since he started in September.

Outside of that, they don't have a formal report card.

The overall mood change is that he doesn't freak out when we have to go at 8PM anymore, he's happy and content when he wakes up in the morning. So I'll make a note of that.

Thank you again!

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Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
I'm not an expert on documentation, but I would think things like school report cards from before and after the custody change showing an improvement in grades would be a great thing to have.

A journal keeping track of exchanges and his moods, showing that they have improved with the consistent schedule.

Photos of him having a great time at Sportball, an activity made possible by the consistent schedule.

Anything you have that can compare before and after the custody change, and show benefits from the current schedule.
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Old 01-04-2015, 06:00 PM
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Yeah, I feel bad for the kid not being able to see his dad.

What I've learned about affidavit's is that anyone can say anything in it, there is not real repercussion for lying on it so everything is iffy unfortunately.

However, taking a picture of a father hitting his child with a slipper and a red bum is pretty much solid evidence. (unless you're NYC cop filmed choking a guy to death) I'm sorry, judge and police "didn't run with the evidence", this was child abuse and that kid needs to be protected from that. Regardless of parent. It's also points to question the fact if the guy has anger management issues.

Now does he have a picture of her hitting the child with a coat hanger?

I see your point and outside looking in without all the facts here, I would say both parents need counselling and the only victim here is the poor child.

Judge made a decision on the lesser of two evils (the parents here) based upon the evidence presented to him.

Saying there is a problem with the court system, yes there is. I know of one guy who has only supervised visits with kid since she was born, he has done everything right, and has good intentions. This is to the point of parental alienation.

I think the best advice for any guy or girl entering into this is to realize that as one lawyer told. "This is family law, not a court of law". The sooner you realize that the better prepared you will be. It is not not simply guilty or not, it is unfortunately using strategy, tactics, exploiting laws in addition to evidence that you will have the best chance of winning. It's sad but true, all this for the best interest of a child. I've learned this the hard way a few times.

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Originally Posted by Franklin View Post
She will lie in court bout all you say and make accusations against you. Judge will error on the side of caution and agree with there is a problem and only flip through all your evidence quickly without care and avoid making a decision leaving things for you to 2 decide on, schedule another expensive CC .
If you were self Rept or have the 10 or 30 grand you definitely will have a chance at sole.
Judge will look for you to pay for 2 homes so the child has 2 bedrooms all the time oh ya the mother too.
Now if you were the parent with all those problems Judge would give you EOW and call FRO. Go Self Rep and let the system screw itself. The more people that do will force the courts to clean up there act.
I know a guy who hasn't seen his son in 8 months all because his ex recorded him upset and swearing she also took a picture of a red bum as he smacked his son with a slipper. Police ran with the evidence Judge ran with the evidence. See how you do with your recording. They will probably tell you it is inasmissable . This guy has a sworn affidavit his ex makes the boy take cold showers with his clothes on and has been seen beating him with a clothes hanger. All ignored.

This all sounds terrible but the boy was well taken care of. This abuse word has lost it,s meaning. Unless your a man or have been a very dangerous mother remembering that the first 2 times don,t count for her.
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Old 01-04-2015, 06:27 PM
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Well, according to her exact words, she should be compensated aka child support for the 2 days a week she has him for feeding him, driving him to school, taking him out for dinner and movies these past 4 months. As well she was collecting UCCB etc even though I have him. Not sure where that money went but in her mind, I should be paying for everything regardless if I have full custody or not cause its "not fair".

My lawyer did say she is going to quickly learn that the judge is going to be for the best interest of the child and her.

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I don't think you should agree to shared custody. It is just a money grab.
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 01-05-2015, 10:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FirstTimer View Post
Well, according to her exact words, she should be compensated aka child support for the 2 days a week she has him for feeding him, driving him to school, taking him out for dinner and movies these past 4 months. As well she was collecting UCCB etc even though I have him. Not sure where that money went but in her mind, I should be paying for everything regardless if I have full custody or not cause its "not fair".

My lawyer did say she is going to quickly learn that the judge is going to be for the best interest of the child and her.
HAHAH, tell her to get in line under the "MAN" sign into the family court office. If you don't have your kids 40% of the time then as far as the court is concerned then you have no expenses..... the biggest lie in the Canadian economy facilitating billions of dollar of wealth transfer.

Don't agree, let her take you to court and let the Judge make the order, better to have a judgement making you do something then agreeing with something you don't agree with.
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