Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law

Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #11 (permalink)  
Old 04-27-2013, 11:25 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Hamilton
Posts: 3,725
HammerDad will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dad2bandm View Post
Thanks HammerDad...

Yeah, I had already discovered that case link, and had read through it. So, that will be something I address through a motion, if Mom doesn't sign. I just wanted to document reasonable attempts first, at having her sign it.


So these case links... if someone does a motion, and we see all this previous case-law that applies in our situations, how does one present that? I mean, is it just good enough, knowing that other case-law points to decisions that favour what we want in a motion, therefore our position should be strong? Or when we make a motion ourselves, are we supposed to point out, these prior case-law decisions, as some kind of reference?

I would think, that would be unnecessary..citing these to a judge? Is that showing you've researched this, or is that just unecessary?


If I have to motion this, and take this to court, I would think I would just want to ask for the lastname to by hyphenated, given all the issues I keep having with Mom. Almost as a reminder to both of us, that there are "two parents" for D4.
You will likely be successful having yourself added as a parent to the b/c. However, your request to have your last name added is weakened by the fact that the child has had it that way for 4 years. Meaning, you sat on your hands for 4 years and accepted that it was the child's last name and did nothing.....ie...status quo.

Your inaction is your biggest hurdle. If you have solid reasoning for that, your chances for success increase. But you will likely be very successful having yourself added as a parent. The last name issue, for you and for everyone, weakens over time and even more so if one signs the b/c.
Reply With Quote
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 04-28-2013, 12:37 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,774
dad2bandm is on a distinguished road
Default

Yes, I wish I had found these forums 4 years ago...
Reply With Quote
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 05-17-2013, 05:07 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 483
firhill is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
Oh I completely agree with you, so I have very few arguments. Well, none, but I can guess at a few things that people who would oppose it might say.
While the Judge at my case conference did not oppose my request for having my surname added, she didn't embrace the idea either.

Her comment was:

"Let's not be too concerned about your daughter's name at this point in time. After all, being she's only two years old she has no idea what it means whether her name is (insert actual name here) or Avril Lavigne"
Reply With Quote
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 05-17-2013, 07:20 AM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,563
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
You will likely be successful having yourself added as a parent to the b/c. However, your request to have your last name added is weakened by the fact that the child has had it that way for 4 years. Meaning, you sat on your hands for 4 years and accepted that it was the child's last name and did nothing.....ie...status quo.

Your inaction is your biggest hurdle. If you have solid reasoning for that, your chances for success increase. But you will likely be very successful having yourself added as a parent. The last name issue, for you and for everyone, weakens over time and even more so if one signs the b/c.
Futher to HammerDad's points which are all on point. The best way to go about this is to put together an offer to settle in accordance with Rule 18.

Basically, fill out all the forms with your information, sign them and double check they are all correct. Then write up a simple offer to settle stating that the parties agree that you are the father and that the mother is to sign the attached paperwork, the offer to settle and to send a signed copy back to you via registered mail.

Serve two copies of the offer to settle and documentation. When you fill out all the forms in blue pen and in your covering letter ask the mother to sign in blue ink as well. (Technical thing, many government agencies are odd about black pens due to it looking like photocopies some times.)

As well, make sure you keep a copy of what was served. When you serve the offer to settle send it registered mail. Keep a copy of the receipt.

If and only if the mother refuses to sign or doesn't sign within a reasonable amount of time after having been served the request you can (and should) bring a motion.

Give the other parent an opportunity to settle the matter reasonably prior to bringing the motion. As HammerDad pointed out you will be successful on your request on motion more than likely. (Very high probability.) When (and if) you have to file a motion make sure you request COSTS. When you are successful on your motion, ask for costs and attach to your costs request the offer to settle. Even if you do this self represented you could get about $35 an hour in costs for your time to compose and send the offer to settle.

I am recommending this for two reasons:

1. It is reasonable to make an offer to settle.
2. If the mother signs the offer to settle the matter is settled and you don't need to go to court.
3. If the mother doesn't accept the offer to settle then you can use it for your costs request.
4. Having costs ordered against a party often makes many people think about how "reasonable" they are being in matters.

Good Luck!
Tayken
Reply With Quote
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 05-17-2013, 09:41 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,774
dad2bandm is on a distinguished road
Default

Thanks for the advice Tayken.

I'll double-check the Rule 18 info, but what I've done already;

- registered letter sent to Mom, with the signed forms, and request for her to sign the form, to correct birth registration (that letter was signed for, but totally unacknowledged thus far)

- have sent a couple of emails since, also with the forms included (scanned), to her, with the same request (using ReadNotify.com, certified email/tracking - also not acknowledged by Mom)

- I was waiting a few more days, and will send another registered letter...
Reply With Quote
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 05-17-2013, 09:46 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,774
dad2bandm is on a distinguished road
Default

I should mention, all of these "offers" were done over the course of April, and now May.

Last edited by dad2bandm; 05-17-2013 at 09:47 AM. Reason: Typo correction.
Reply With Quote
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 05-17-2013, 12:01 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,774
dad2bandm is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
...
Serve two copies of the offer to settle and documentation.
...
Hmm..what is the significance of this, or why? I couldn't see this mentioned in Rule 18.

Does this mean serve at least twice? Is this meant for a copy for lawyer as well? We have a final order, and court was in the past. So we don't have a lawyer of record anymore, for either of us, or an active court application.

I noticed one of the registered letters was signed by her "boyfriend", that she lives with. Which is why I followed up with email as well. If I notice she gets the boyfriend to always sign now, is that a problem for me? (this is why I use the ReadNotify.com email follow-up as well, to show I sent via that method, and it shows when she has read the email (or not)).
Reply With Quote
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 05-17-2013, 12:22 PM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,563
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dad2bandm View Post
Hmm..what is the significance of this, or why? I couldn't see this mentioned in Rule 18.
Simply so she can keep a true original copy of the documentation with your signature and she can sign one back with her signature. Furthermore, in accordance with Rule 18 the offer has to be signed by you and your lawyer if you have one. If it isn't signed in accordance with Rule 18 you can't leverage it on a costs award. There is jurisprudence to this effect. I can dig it out if you need it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dad2bandm View Post
Does this mean serve at least twice? Is this meant for a copy for lawyer as well? We have a final order, and court was in the past. So we don't have a lawyer of record anymore, for either of us, or an active court application.
No, it means to serve once with two copies.

Your covering letter should read something like:

Dear Person:

Please find enclosed an Offer to Settle made in accordance with Rule 18 of the Family Law Rules.

I kindly ask that if you are in agreement with the conditions of this Offer to Settle to please sign one copy of the Offer to Settle and necessary attached schedules in blue ink and return this copy to me via registered mail to my (address) provided.

This Offer to Settle will remain open until one minute prior to the commencement of any motion and/or trial or withdrawn by me in in writing.

Yours very truly,
Your name

Rule 18 can be leveraged at any time really. Making offers to settle matters is a good thing to do. Rule 18 was put in place to assist parties in making reasonable offers to settle and to encourage settlement.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dad2bandm View Post
I noticed one of the registered letters was signed by her "boyfriend", that she lives with. Which is why I followed up with email as well. If I notice she gets the boyfriend to always sign now, is that a problem for me? (this is why I use the ReadNotify.com email follow-up as well, to show I sent via that method, and it shows when she has read the email (or not)).
When you send the mail registered I am not sure if you can request that it be serviced only to the indented recipient. You may want to have a service provider to personal service on her. I am not fond of this because it is odd to do. I don't think a judge would buy a "I didn't sign for it so I never got it" excuse considering her boyfriend singed for it. But, you never know what people will say in a court room. Honesty is often not the first policy of many before the family courts...

Just a personal comment: You have serviced it twice now and through two channels (email and registered mail). Although email isn't part of the Rules for service of this kind of documentation you have served it enough upon the other party. No need to get too anxious.

Also, remember that it isn't a huge issue in the scope of things really. There is a court order in place identifying you as a parent. That will trump any claim someone might make on the names registered on a birth certificate. Often, changes to the birth certificate are technical documentation issues. I don't recommend getting too engaged in conflict over it.

You have served your materials. Be patient then follow up a request if they recieved the documentation. Possibly after the second attempt to resolve you should contact a lawyer to see about bringing a motion.

It isn't a "material change in circumstance" really in my opinion... It could be "contempt" but, that is an extreme motion and not appropriate in my personal opinion for something like this. My personal opinion is that only the most highly conflicted litigants bring "contempt" motions for trivial matters such as these. (Remembering that contempt is a quasi criminal situation and quite different than a regular motion.)

Good Luck!
Tayken

Last edited by Tayken; 05-17-2013 at 12:27 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 05-17-2013, 03:57 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,774
dad2bandm is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Simply so she can keep a true original copy of the documentation with your signature and she can sign one back with her signature. Furthermore, in accordance with Rule 18 the offer has to be signed by you and your lawyer if you have one. If it isn't signed in accordance with Rule 18 you can't leverage it on a costs award. There is jurisprudence to this effect. I can dig it out if you need it.
Ahh, I understand. Okay then. Perhaps, for future mailings, I will duplicate the included forms.

I don't have a lawyer, and my signature is on everything, of this nature, that I mail/send her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Please find enclosed an Offer to Settle made in accordance with Rule 18 of the Family Law Rules.

I kindly ask that if you are in agreement with the conditions of this Offer to Settle...
Is it good, or not, to reference the Family Law rules, and to write "Offer to Settle", etc...? With my particular ex, this tone of writing seems to cause more conflict. I'm sure, if I don't refer to these, it doesn't affect things, as long as my request is clear, in what I'm asking to settle?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
It isn't a "material change in circumstance" really in my opinion... It could be "contempt" but, that is an extreme motion and not appropriate in my personal opinion for something like this...
No, no...I wouldn't use contempt for this. I would use contempt for the refusal to provide her tax returns (ordered, in our order), or the deliberate repeated access interference times, if I was going to go the contempt route.

Good side question though...if I have to address both of these kind of situations, can one do them in one? Or do you file seperate motions for the issues? Can one simply motion the order to be followed (in the case of ordered financial/tax exchanges), without it being a "motion of contempt", and also motion for birth certificate to be corrected, in one?

Or do they prefer that to be seperated out (without it looking like a "motion" frenzy).

I have a seperate thread, on getting signature as well (she's listed as "primary caregiver" - so her signature is required), in order for D4 to get all the CESG (RESP) grants, that she should be getting. Mom refuses to sign, and refuses to open a RESP on her own, in order for D4 to get them.

So I put forth a similar offer (registered letter, followup email), with the signed forms, asking for her to sign them, over the last 3 months. So that is another thing I will have to ask, to get addressed.
Reply With Quote
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 06-05-2013, 11:36 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,774
dad2bandm is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
...
If and only if the mother refuses to sign or doesn't sign within a reasonable amount of time after having been served the request you can (and should) bring a motion.
...
So, to confirm I understand, in my reading of the rules/forms...

Since we have a final court order already, and this is not a *change* to our order itself, I assume this would be a 14B then (and the other necessary 14 forms)? In reading the forms, and the rules, I understand this would not be a "Motion to change form 15"?

I guess this would be a "procedural" or "uncomplicated" motion?

I'm just reading up again, on this...in case I get no movement on my requests for her to sign (request to settle).
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Watkins Missing Children - NEWS UPDATE StephenWatkins General Chat 72 12-19-2012 06:33 PM
Father denied any and all info. on kid's education @ college Stepmom2-:) Divorce & Family Law 2 05-09-2011 05:16 PM
Not on Birth Certificate, after all... Motorizer Divorce & Family Law 15 08-19-2010 07:42 PM
No father on passport application -> problem? dinkyface Divorce & Family Law 0 06-29-2009 07:00 PM
Infant Access and Breastfeeding quake Parenting Issues 31 02-01-2006 06:35 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:10 PM.