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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 04-07-2014, 03:46 PM
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Hi my concerns are just that its just one more unneccessary difficultly on the children as he will text them that he wants to see them but then emails me that he cant and has to cancel.
I would welcome more involvement from him as a dad but the reality is he wont be, i was just concerned as to why he wanted this order as I know its only for his best interest on paper....unfortunately as everything he does is motivated by money or to belittle my parenting.....
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Old 04-07-2014, 03:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ringettteplayer View Post
Hi my concerns are just that its just one more unneccessary difficultly on the children as he will text them that he wants to see them but then emails me that he cant and has to cancel.
I would welcome more involvement from him as a dad but the reality is he wont be, i was just concerned as to why he wanted this order as I know its only for his best interest on paper....unfortunately as everything he does is motivated by money or to belittle my parenting.....
Having an order can't force him to be a good father, and won't impact at all the fact that he cancels.

Refusing to sign one however could be used against you should he decide to press the parental alienation issue. That might be his goal.
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Old 04-07-2014, 04:00 PM
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Originally Posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
The reality is that even if he signed away his rights to see the child, to reflect reality, if he miraculously became a good guy and petitioned to see the child every other weekend, then he would get it.

So why rock the boat.

There are lots of things in agreements that aren unenforceable. Sometimes it is best to stop worrying and carry on with life.

Because - I have the child 100% of the time, yet the agreement provides for offset support because of the generous access.

Because the other parent has now left the country, with joint custody and provides zero cooperation.

Don't want to rock the boat, then use the access you fight for. Don't leave the kids waiting on the doorstep for you not to show up....and expect to be able to walk in on "your day" a year later and pretend like nothing happened.

Perhaps the OP knows she'll be faced with a similar circumstance??
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Old 04-07-2014, 04:03 PM
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Originally Posted by MS Mom View Post
Because - I have the child 100% of the time, yet the agreement provides for offset support because of the generous access.

Because the other parent has now left the country, with joint custody and provides zero cooperation.

Don't want to rock the boat, then use the access you fight for. Don't leave the kids waiting on the doorstep for you not to show up....and expect to be able to walk in on "your day" a year later and pretend like nothing happened.

Perhaps the OP knows she'll be faced with a similar circumstance??
Offset would of course be a reason to change the agreement.

But that isn't the case with the OP. That father didn't leave the country. Don't project your situation with the poster's situation.
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Old 04-07-2014, 04:09 PM
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Originally Posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
Offset would of course be a reason to change the agreement.

But that isn't the case with the OP. That father didn't leave the country. Don't project your situation with the poster's situation.
I'm not projecting - I'm simply stating that there are a multitude of very valid reasons why people would chose to make a motion that have nothing to do with "denying dad" anything.

It isn't "rocking the boat" or stopping dad from being able to parent. Stop projecting that as the "goal". It's offensive when it's far from the goal.
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Old 04-07-2014, 04:20 PM
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Originally Posted by MS Mom View Post
I'm not projecting - I'm simply stating that there are a multitude of very valid reasons why people would chose to make a motion that have nothing to do with "denying dad" anything.

It isn't "rocking the boat" or stopping dad from being able to parent. Stop projecting that as the "goal". It's offensive when it's far from the goal.
My posts were directed specifically to the OP and her situation. If she should refuse to sign his motion (for EOWeekend access), or do a motion to eliminate access to reflect the status quo, then he can at some point use that in his battle to prove parental alientation. He wouldn't win if she can prove that she was willing to provide access, but why give him any more ammunition.

I have no idea why that would offend you.
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Old 04-07-2014, 05:33 PM
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hi ms mom you are bang on!! Exactly my fear i appreciate your input as i dont want to deny "dad" anything as well as the offset i know he is thinking if he has a written agreement that is all he would need to reduce his payments which sadly is his ultimate goal--- money.


DadtroddenDad you have made excellent points as well which is exactly what my fears were and why i agreed to eow if somehow he turned out to be a great dad then he should be able to prove that the children would be gteatful.
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Old 04-11-2014, 12:28 PM
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Hi again everyone,
Consent order states every other weekend.
And he is to give me 48hrs cancelation notice if anticipating cancelling his weekend.

Here is my questions:

1. Do i have to prove that he doesnt choose to see the children? As he does not answer emails, texts or phone calls.

2. He does not cancel by email or by any notice he just chooses to ignore me.

In my mind The only reason he wanted this consent order is so he could possibly offset child support into a lesser amount by pretending (lying) about parenting more.
Control, he simply wants to control my life.

he never responds to appointment emails, never been to any of the childrens schools or events or extra curricular activities. Has. Wage deduction notice because he doesnt voluntarily pay cs., never even asks about their schooling etc.
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Old 04-11-2014, 01:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ringettteplayer View Post
Hi again everyone,
Consent order states every other weekend.
And he is to give me 48hrs cancelation notice if anticipating cancelling his weekend.

Here is my questions:

1. Do i have to prove that he doesnt choose to see the children? As he does not answer emails, texts or phone calls.

2. He does not cancel by email or by any notice he just chooses to ignore me.

In my mind The only reason he wanted this consent order is so he could possibly offset child support into a lesser amount by pretending (lying) about parenting more.
Control, he simply wants to control my life.

he never responds to appointment emails, never been to any of the childrens schools or events or extra curricular activities. Has. Wage deduction notice because he doesnt voluntarily pay cs., never even asks about their schooling etc.
Keep a journal faithfully, with every contact, every access. Track the emails you send to invite him. Track the times he doesn't show for access.

What you have to do is give him ever opportunity to have access that he doesn't use.

But I don't know why you are needing to prove it. He already has limited access. Are you trying to reduce it to zero?
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Old 04-11-2014, 01:22 PM
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Ok thank you! No not at all do i want to reduce it, i am afraid of a scheme he is pulling is all. I am ensuring that I protect myself from his deceit, i am anticipating him to twist the consent order around on me.

As I can predict in a few months he will try to say he has had the the children at his house every other weekend like the order says and therefore cs should be offset. He is strictly monetarily driven.

Which is fine if it were true that he did in fact have the children, however he will not comply as per the consent order states written cancellation notice which therefore makes me believe he is going to try to scam my children of their support.
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