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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 04-03-2014, 04:42 PM
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Default Cohabitating with a woman and her child?

Hello,

I was curious about something. I'm currently finishing up a divorce, but I was wondering about something. I've met a woman who has a son and I've read that if I cohabitate with her for at least six months, I will be responsible for CS should we split up, even though the child is not mine.

I have significant business assets and I would have a cohabitation agreement drawn up of course, but can I have the CS issue included in the cohabitation agreement? Can I get myself free of CS issues if it's written into the agreement, or will a court overturn it? I have a feeling that since it involves CS and the well-being of a child, any agreement could be easily overturned by the courts.

Geez, it's hard being a man these days. Why should I be liable for CS of somebody else's kid?! I'm already paying CS for two children (gladly of course because they're mine), but I won't be paying for another man's child, I'll tell you that much. I'll just break it off with my current GF if that's the case.
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Old 04-03-2014, 04:55 PM
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Doesn't sound like a very strong relationship if you'll leave her and her son just because of that possibility. You should be able to trust her and have a discussion about it.

From what I've read, paying cs for a "step-child" is usually for long term relationships where there's proof you've acted as a parent.

6 months probably wouldn't fly in court if she was looking for child support from you.
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Old 04-03-2014, 05:07 PM
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Do a search on this site and google for "In loco parentis".

It isn't just a time issue, it would have to be proved that you stood in place of an absent parent.

Some of the proofs that may be looked at (from previous discussions here):
1) Did the child refer to you as father?
2) Did you discipline the child?
3) Did you fulfill traditional parent roles by going to parent teacher conferences, doctor's appointments etc.?
4)Did you directly financially support the child?

And you can write anything you want in a prenup, but over the course of time if you establish a different status quo, a prenup can be overturned.

It is a risk, especially if the biological father is not in the picture. But it should be a manageable risk.

If your business assets are in an incorporated business, that would further shield you, or at least potentially reduce what you would pay.

Have you talked to the mother about this?
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Old 04-03-2014, 06:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oldblueeyes View Post

Geez, it's hard being a man these days. Why should I be liable for CS of somebody else's kid?! I'm already paying CS for two children (gladly of course because they're mine), but I won't be paying for another man's child, I'll tell you that much. I'll just break it off with my current GF if that's the case.

^^ That sounds like a very good idea. Why are you with her, and thinking about cohabiting, when you obviously don't trust her? Do yourselves both a favour and move on.

(And it's got nothing to do with being a man. In loco parentis - in the place of a parent - is not a male-specific concept).
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Old 04-03-2014, 08:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stripes View Post
^^ That sounds like a very good idea. Why are you with her, and thinking about cohabiting, when you obviously don't trust her? Do yourselves both a favour and move on.

(And it's got nothing to do with being a man. In loco parentis - in the place of a parent - is not a male-specific concept).

Ha ha, of course it's got everything to do with being a man, as it's a female-biased system. Look, everybody here knows full well that cohabitations/marriages don't last forever anymore. Sure I trust her to some degree now, when she's sweet and the sex is hot, but if once cohabitation starts she gradually becomes less sweet and less sexual, then I'm out.

I've got assets and I'm protecting them. Period. If you don't like it you don't have to reply. I'll be checking with my lawyer soon anyway, but of course you can't trust lawyers because they're always thinking of future revenues from you! lol

Seeing as my GF's Filipina maybe I'll just keep visiting her quarterly for a month at a time. It's a hell of a lot warmer there anyway. lol I'm just lucky I have a business where I can practically semi-retire.

I'm just finalizing a divorce where I gave my Ex my equity in our house (which I paid very little for 15 years ago...ha ha, I don't care what it's worth now) in lieu of spousal support, and of course I don't mind paying child support at all.
I'm getting off pretty easy if you ask me! I told her that if she was going to go after SS, then I was forcing the sale of the house and getting my half of the equity; since she and the kids love the house and she couldn't buy something that (Victorian) grand with her half, no SS for me!

I'm just lucky that I live in Nova Scotia where business assets are not part of divorce proceedings, though if she had been willing to lie and say she helped build the business, she could have gotten a portion of its worth.

I guess I'll just keep romancing in the Philippines. The $2000 airfare is nothing compared to the peace of mind it provides.
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Old 04-03-2014, 08:35 PM
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almost sounds like slug....
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Old 04-03-2014, 08:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
almost sounds like slug....
I assume you are referring to another user, perhaps a banned one? I can assure you that I am not that person. Since I may have CS issues in the future, I consider this forum a valuable resource.
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Old 04-03-2014, 09:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
almost sounds like slug....
Great minds think alike .... slughead also enjoyed bragging about his supposed wealth, how he swindled his ex wife out of her fair share and his retirement plans - good luck blue eyes Karma is waiting for you.
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Old 04-03-2014, 10:31 PM
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Pathetic

Has to go to a third world country to get laid.

If the laws of this country are so biased in favor of women then you're best to move.
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Old 04-03-2014, 10:39 PM
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While you may think great minds think alike, I am not the slughead you are referring to. Before I had my lawyer draw up our divorce agreement, I had been reading this forum regularly for tips; I never registered and asked questions, but I gained lots of insight from ottawadivorce.com.

I am not rich, but I am comfortable and I intend to keep it that way. I swindled by exwife out of nothing; I gave her the option of taking my half of the equity in our home or spousal support and since she has a pretty good job, it was in her best interest to take my half of the house as SS wouldn't have amounted to a hell of a lot anyway. If you want to know the truth I'd be better off forcing the sale of the house and getting my 50%, but the kids love the house and why make things worse by forcing them to move?

If I can make money here in Canada and romance abroad in the hot tropics, why the hell not?
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