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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 10-20-2009, 07:34 PM
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Default Christmas Schedule - Norm vs Order

Originally, I thought that the Christmas Break schedule alternated each year, with one parent having the child for the first half one year, and for the second half the next.

However, upon closer observation of my husband's court order, it states that: "The balance of the child's Christmas school vacation will be divided equally between the parties each year, with the Father having the child with him for the first week of the Christmas school vacation each year and the Mother having the child with her during the second week of the Christmas school vacation each year."

This means, that aside from alternating Christmas Eve/Morning yearly, the child will be with my husband and I for the first week of his Christmas vacation EACH YEAR. This means that the child will never be with us over New Year's Eve or for the second week of Christmas vacation.

I thought that the norm was to alternate the weeks yearly.

Any ideas as to why the judge ordered the Christmas schedule this way?

Does anyone else have a court order stating a similar yearly schedule?

We are currently in the process of discussing the Christmas schedule... and we're unsure whether to fully abide by the court order or to deviate from him. In the past, we alternated weeks thinking that was the norm, and never gave much thought to what was ordered by the court. But now that my stepson's mom is on an "always abide by the court order" mission (when it benefits her, of course) we feel that perhaps we should implement this schedule and stick to it on a yearly basis, as per the court order.

Any thoughts?
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Old 10-20-2009, 11:04 PM
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I'd say, if she wants the change, let her ask for it. Otherwise, keep quiet and just plan as per the court order. She can read just as well as you can, so she can give no reason to expect anything else.

I agree, the order seems strange.
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Old 10-21-2009, 08:59 AM
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I don't think it matters to her this year, because she's scheduled to have the child with her for NYE anyway, as we had him last year. But I know next year, if we start demanding the court ordered schedule, she'll throw a fit because that'll mean she will have the child for NYE again... and again and again in future years.

Both my husband and I feel it's a stranger order. We're just unsure whether we should begin to stick to it, or continue planning and alternating as we have done in the past. KWIM?

When we asked her why she wants to deviate from the order, she said that she felt it was in the child's best interest to have spend more "complete" periods in each home, instead of spending the first 9 days of Christmas vacation with my husband and I with only a 24 hour "break" on Christmas Eve/Morning when the child is returned to be with her.

Am I right to believe that 99% of orders alternate the Christmas vacation weeks, including NYE?
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Old 10-21-2009, 12:53 PM
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I would abide exactly by the order, seeing that she is such a difficult person!
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Old 10-21-2009, 12:59 PM
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Can you both agree to continuing to rotate the weeks at Christmas as you have been doing? If you both agree you can just write an amendment at the bottom of both copies, and as long as you both sign it should be legal.
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Old 10-21-2009, 08:14 PM
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Well, after much deliberation, we stuck to the status quo of abiding by a schedule we can agree to. The schedule my stepon's mom requested (which deviates from the court order) is very close to the schedule we had suggested (before we realized we were deviating from the court order as well) and it makes the most sense in terms of driving and the quantity and quality of time the child spends with us.

I figure that if we can come to an agreement on a schedule that works for all of us, it's okay to deviate from the order. If there comes a day when we won't be able to reach an agreement, then we can demand to abide by the court order. After all, that's why we have one - for when the parties cannot agree and need to be "told" what to do. ;-)

Thanks for your replies!
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Old 10-22-2009, 09:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by #1StepMom View Post
I figure that if we can come to an agreement on a schedule that works for all of us, it's okay to deviate from the order. If there comes a day when we won't be able to reach an agreement, then we can demand to abide by the court order. After all, that's why we have one - for when the parties cannot agree and need to be "told" what to do. ;-)

Thanks for your replies!
That sums it all up very well. The court order is ONLY there if the parents can't agree on things. A little compromise makes life so much easier and nicer for everyone; mom, dad, and children.

NOBODY CARES if you follow the court order unless one of you starts complaining about it. Good job to you and your ex #1.

DD
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