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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 09-17-2015, 04:41 PM
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All the other stuff is irrelevant. Did they pay the daycare provider directly?
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Old 09-18-2015, 04:22 AM
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Nothing written (my ex doesn't like to have things in writing), but I have a few recordings (voice).
The mediator letter only talks about who has custody and a little cs to be paid at that time because my ex could not afford more due to their spending habits/lifestyle.
The money supposidly for cs was paid directly to the daycare.
My ex doesn't share anything about finances with me. Like I said earlier, they don't like to share anything about their money.
I do have a few email where my ex goes on about money. But realistically, CS is a payment owing to the child of the relationship. My understanding is that retro amounts are owed no matter what.
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Old 09-18-2015, 07:04 AM
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I think your understandings are wrong. You agreed to a lower amount and now want to go back on your agreement. As other posters have stated you will get full CS going forward but doubtful you will get retro when you agreed (and have a mediator's letter) to lower CS. Can't have your cake and eat it too.
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Old 09-18-2015, 08:35 AM
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He wasnt paying cs though guys. He was paying for daycare is what Im understanding.

Definitely file for support officially and for financial disclosure.
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Old 09-18-2015, 09:45 AM
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Agreement doesn`t state anything about exchanges of info (financial).
No correspondence, but a few email about my ex`s financial distress.
Every time I brought it up in writing, the ex never responded in written form. Always a verbal sob story about undue hardship and ``╠ don`t have two pennies to my name.`` That, and my ex`s temper regarding money borders on ridiculous.

But, to answer my question, 2 years of no CS - it`s money the ex owes to my child and not to me. I`m certain I would direct a big chunk of that towards my child`s RESP. (I do make regular small contributions and have done so since my child`s birth, but my ex has not. Actually, about 500 the first year, and then never again after that. My ex`s reason: No money. But the ex has money to have more shoes than I do, a big watch collection, lawn cutting service in the summer and snow blowing service in the winter. (I do it all myself to save $$$). Money seems to appear for my ex when they want to go on a trip (personal) or need to get new winter boots.
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Old 09-18-2015, 09:47 AM
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Yes, my ex was paying daycare directly - 45% of the total fee, although according to percentages, my ex should have been paying 60% (my ex makes more).
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Old 09-18-2015, 09:49 AM
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No, I didn`t agree to a lower amount of cs. At that time of the agreement, that was all my ex could afford, given their debt load ratio.
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Old 09-18-2015, 09:58 AM
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The amount agreed upon was all my ex `said`` they could afford at the time. i know if the roles were reversed, when I got back on my feet, I would pay the retro. All I know is that it`s money owing to the CHILD (and it just happens to be the parent that manages it). So, I would have to think shame shame shame on the parent that essentially `cheats`` their own children. When a child is born, both parents have a financial obligation to this child. Sure, circumstances can factor into it, but my ex`s income is 150k, and if they have a huge house, cars, toys 9boat and a few other things), and are at their debt load for various loans and lines of credits and payments, how is that my fault when I attempted to let them lower their cs payment temporarily until they get back on their feet and sell some of their assets. 2 years later, the assets are all still for sale....so that tells me that the price is too high and that they are not interested in selling or changing anything, right.
I am not a money grabbing person, I just have a friend who is struggling to have her older son in University in the USA (a specific program only offered at one university there an none in Canada). She didn`t put enough money away for education, and now she has thwo jobs and her 75 year old parents just put a mortgage on their home (which was fully paid).
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Old 09-18-2015, 10:26 AM
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Sounds like you were totally sucked in by your ex. OF course he's going to tell you he's broke - they always do. Not your problem though and court will be quick to remind him he has a duty to provide support for his children.

I'd got to court and let your ex explain things to the judge (he will have to provide full financial disclosure or end up having his income imputed much higher than he current earns - his choice). You could provide the emails you sent him requesting money which would show that you didn't sit idle.

What your ex does with his money (up his nose or living large) is really irrelevant. Decision will be made on what his income is and what he is supposed to pay in C/S.
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Old 09-18-2015, 11:14 AM
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Default Child support - retroactive issues

Agree with Arabian. Like I said, file a formal request for support. He will have to provide financial details for the last three years. Attach your emails to him as evidence. Attach any proof he paid the daycare as proof of his payment of S7 and go from there. Stop engaging with him and ignore his lawyers bullshit. When you get full financial disclosure, calculate what he should have paid and request that be paid into an RESP.

I went back and reread your original post. You do have a lawyer. Just sit tight and let a judge decide. Regardless of what your ex says, he wasnt paying household expenses while he was in this imaginary relationship. Keep us posted.

Last edited by rockscan; 09-18-2015 at 11:17 AM.
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