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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 02-16-2017, 11:13 PM
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trinton has a little shameless behaviour in the past

Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
When my husband and his ex first separated she had the kids for Easter weekend. The following year was his weekend with them. Well she told him he could only pick them up if he would bring them back Saturday rather than keep them the whole weekend... even though his regular weekend was Friday to Sunday... she wouldn't let up so he told her sure just to get his kids. When he picked the kids up he sent her an email and stated that because it was his regular weekend he would be keeping the children for the duration of the weekend like she had them last year. She called the cops, the cops called him and he explained the situation and said he would have them back to her at 4pm Monday. The cops stated that was fine and communicated that to mom. Nothing was done to Dad. Mom was being unreasonable by attempting to refuse access to Dad.

Cops told Dad that because they didn't have a police enforcement clause in their agreement there really wasn't anything they could do because the children were not in danger.

I don't support this action but in your case you have requested and gave notice. The cops most likely won't do anything, especially if you are in court and you are civil with them.

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i don't disagree with you but what happens in the case mom decides in middle of weekend I'm not getting the extra time? or offers something ridiculous? what about in the case completely ignores everything and sends message 15 minute after normally expected drop off time and asks where child is? pretending as if tho she never got correspondence from me or lawyer
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 02-17-2017, 12:45 AM
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 43
Asphenaz is on a distinguished road

Originally Posted by trinton View Post
or offers something ridiculous? what about in the case completely ignores everything and sends message 15 minute after normally expected drop off time and asks where is?

This situation is pretty much a mirror of what I face on many exchange days. 15 min before i pick them up, i get a text that they are no home. I'm then left waiting for x amount of hours, sometimes the kids tell me they were at the sitters or at home the whole time.

I can understand your feelings of 'enough is enough'.

My advice is don't get blinded by your ex's possible actions, or all the 'what if's'. The 'what if's' are like a mental poison, they spoil the time you have with your kids. Instead prepare in advance like you are doing and then enjoy the time with your kids.

It sounds like you've done your due diligence to notify your ex. Print out the emails, or a copy of legal correspondence etc ahead of time... if police do contact you, you can provide them copies.

Don't ignore any communication, it won't help you in court or with the kids. If she asks that you return them do so. Don't drop everything but communicate a reasonable time frame and follow thru. Ie: we are finishing supper and will be on our way in x. (Yes, i have a notepad of pre-written responses).

Focus on your long term goals. The time spent with your kids will be better if you focus on them and not the what if's.

Your kids remember the quality and not the amount of time you spend with them. A friend of mine reminded me of the following recently. Even thought he was prevented from seeing his dad as a kid, because of how both parents acted he chose to live with his dad in his early teens. And now he has 25+ years of good memories with him compared to ~6 years of limited contact.

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