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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 10-01-2017, 12:39 AM
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How has it been possible up to now that the hockey schedule would only happen on your time? My son is only in house league and it would be impossible for him to only attend on my days alone without missing a pile of games. Has she already been taking him on her time?


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Old 10-01-2017, 03:18 AM
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I also didnt understand that, it would be impossible to have any activity only occur on one parents time in 2-2-5-5. I suspect then, the issue is not an activity in general, but this particular activity. Have you offered to do all the driving for the activity? I agree at some point it is about what the child wants to do, but also within the means (money and time) the parents have. Activites certaily look different at age 4 compared to what they are like with much older kids, so it seems there needs to be some flexibiity. But 7 seems young to have a burning desire for one time consuming activity. why not do a less intensive type of activity for a another few years and then switch to a competitive one if child still interested at age 10?
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Old 10-01-2017, 08:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ange71727 View Post
How has it been possible up to now that the hockey schedule would only happen on your time? My son is only in house league and it would be impossible for him to only attend on my days alone without missing a pile of games. Has she already been taking him on her time?


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Our child would miss most of the every other weekend. My ex brought our child twice....the other times I was told they couldn't attend because they were busy. When I would call they were sitting at home watching tv.
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Old 10-01-2017, 08:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by denbigh View Post
I also didnt understand that, it would be impossible to have any activity only occur on one parents time in 2-2-5-5. I suspect then, the issue is not an activity in general, but this particular activity.
I had our child in houseleague soccer. It was always on my time. Never missed a practice/game.
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Old 10-01-2017, 08:58 AM
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Have you offered to do all the driving for the activity?
I absolutely did.
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Old 10-01-2017, 09:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leavingthestation View Post
Our child would miss most of the every other weekend. My ex brought our child twice....the other times I was told they couldn't attend because they were busy. When I would call they were sitting at home watching tv.


My advice would be to keep him in house league for now. He's only 7 so there's lots of time. If he is rep calibre he can make the team again. My ex was also extremely opposed to hockey in the beginning as it "wasn't his sport". My son is now in Peewee now and would have something to say to his dad if he took him out of it or made him miss games to watch tv. I think you are going to have to hope that your child vocalizes their love for the game to mom in the future. If she was truly thinking about best interests of the child, she would recognize that he shouldn't be denied a great opportunity. Is the child in other sports on her time?


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Old 10-01-2017, 09:06 AM
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My ex has also on several occasions refused to agree to let our child go on school trips. The forms clearly state it's part of the curriculum.

Parallel parenting in the form we are currently using has been fairly decent. However, there's no room for discussion. It should have been either we shared decision making and let a 3rd party have final say on disagreements or I had final say on education and they had it on activities for example
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Old 10-01-2017, 09:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ange71727 View Post
My advice would be to keep him in house league for now. He's only 7 so there's lots of time. If he is rep calibre he can make the team again. My ex was also extremely opposed to hockey in the beginning as it "wasn't his sport". My son is now in Peewee now and would have something to say to his dad if he took him out of it or made him miss games to watch tv. I think you are going to have to hope that your child vocalizes their love for the game to mom in the future. If she was truly thinking about best interests of the child, she would recognize that he shouldn't be denied a great opportunity. Is the child in other sports on her time?


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I agree that I will let our child tryout again but I would be in the same predicament.
Our child asks my ex all the time only to be shot down over and over. It's tough to see that look on the face.
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Old 10-01-2017, 09:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leavingthestation View Post
My ex has also on several occasions refused to agree to let our child go on school trips. The forms clearly state it's part of the curriculum.

Parallel parenting in the form we are currently using has been fairly decent. However, there's no room for discussion. It should have been either we shared decision making and let a 3rd party have final say on disagreements or I had final say on education and they had it on activities for example


This may have been a better way to do it. It does sound like you'll need an update to your agreement in the future.


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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 10-01-2017, 03:11 PM
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As I have said before once a child becomes a teen they will make their own decisions.

If a parent constantly shoots down the hopes and dreams of a child they will regret it later on down the road.

Just spent a weekend with a group of teens and several are from separated homes. None like the decisions their parents have made. None like being used in the power struggles.

However even in intact families parents often disagree on whether their child should register for time consuming activities. It's part of the parent child relationship regardless of the relationship status.

Keep him in house league for now and see how his commitment pans out. The Staal. Rothers practiced on a farm pond!
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