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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 09-30-2017, 01:39 PM
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Default Changing the Separation Agreement

Hi,
I currently have joint shared custody 2-2-5-5. Our agreement states that we won't schedule activities on the other parents time unless we both agree.
This worked well for the first 3 years.

Our child. age 7, is now older and is able to play rep hockey with kids a year older. I feel this is fantastic and a great opportunity. The benefits are plenty.

I say go for it. The ex says not on their time.

If it was houseleague or a recreational thing I would not push the issue.

Do I take this to court? Isn't this in the best interest of the kid?

Thanks

p.s. I have followed this forum for a long time. Even though I had a lawyer this forum helped me through a lot.
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Old 09-30-2017, 02:37 PM
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I wouldnt take it to court. It is clearly written so there is no gray area. If it was something that the child was involved in before then you may have a case but this is new. It isnt right to interfere with the other parents time with the child.
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Old 09-30-2017, 04:41 PM
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Our separation agreement is pretty solid. But like any agreement it will need to be upgraded. It needs to evolve as time goes on. The child's needs of yesterday are not the same as tomorrow.
And as stated in the OP if this was houseleague I never would have brought it up.
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Old 09-30-2017, 07:25 PM
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I'm curious - what "benefits" are there to a 7-yr-old to play in this league?

Are these "benefits" worth going to court over and, more importantly, upsetting what seems to have been a very cohesive parenting relationship?
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Old 09-30-2017, 07:50 PM
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Has your child actually tried out for rep and made the team?


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Old 09-30-2017, 09:09 PM
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Hockey is a big commitment, especially rep... if someone isn't a "hockey family" I can easily see why his would be a no go. Honestly going to court over this won't do much good... unless your kid is a star player and working towards the NHL you will be hard pressed to get anything ordered. The child wasn't in rep at separation so this is basically a new activity. Maybe the child can be called up to play some games on your days?


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Old 09-30-2017, 09:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I'm curious - what "benefits" are there to a 7-yr-old to play in this league?

Are these "benefits" worth going to court over and, more importantly, upsetting what seems to have been a very cohesive parenting relationship?
Besides the usual basic benefits of teamwork, hard work, building self esteem, commitment, playing by rules, learning how to win and lose, exercise....etc etc etc
Then there are future educational and professional opportunities that playing rep sports can produce.
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Old 09-30-2017, 09:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ange71727 View Post
Has your child actually tried out for rep and made the team?


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Yes!!! It's just a matter of commitment.
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Old 09-30-2017, 09:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
Hockey is a big commitment, especially rep... if someone isn't a "hockey family" I can easily see why his would be a no go. Honestly going to court over this won't do much good... unless your kid is a star player and working towards the NHL you will be hard pressed to get anything ordered. The child wasn't in rep at separation so this is basically a new activity. Maybe the child can be called up to play some games on your days?


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"Hockey family"?
You can only work towards something, like the Nhl, if you actually try.

I appreciate the answers "wasn't in rep at separation so this is basically a new activity" but I don't agree with it. Children grow and change. So should the parents. When does it stop being "not on my days" to "our child is showing a strong desire and is demonstrating a great skill so let's help them grow"?
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Old 09-30-2017, 10:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leavingthestation View Post
Besides the usual basic benefits of teamwork, hard work, building self esteem, commitment, playing by rules, learning how to win and lose, exercise....etc etc etc
Then there are future educational and professional opportunities that playing rep sports can produce.
One would hope that the local-level of sport instills these values no?

I'm not a hockey fan or knowledgeable about the various levels of the game. However, I was in other competitive interests as a child and later in life I was a competitive golfer (both individual stroke-play as well as match play and team endeavors). I know the benefit, first-hand, of having active supportive parents. With that said, you sadly have to realize your child's handicap (acrimonious divorced parents). If your child were to show true talent and want to pursue the sport competitively then it will surely lead to a big disappointment as parents aren't both on-board with this activity. Taking this to the court level will likely end in the child being totally turned off of anything that the parents have to agree on.

I empathize with your situation but this is one of those nasty costs of divorce. Sucks for sure but might be best to recognize it for what it is and not subject your child to future disappointment.

Found this article: http://nationalpost.com/news/canada/...d-into-the-nhl

I still don't "get" the obsession. Sounds like a huge commitment which many families simply can't afford or are unwilling to sacrifice their time for.

This is an excellent article:
https://glassandout.com/2014/02/10-s...ockey-parents/

Last edited by arabian; 09-30-2017 at 11:12 PM.
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