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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 06-07-2013, 03:01 AM
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Default Can children make a decision at 12 years old?

My ex wants to get a court order that my child will make his own decisions where to go when she is 12. My Ex is having a hard time handling the child not because she is bad, she is actually very well behaved, but because she wants to come live with me. I said that it should be done immediately as I wil gladly take her but she said wait until she is 12 so she can make her own court order??? What is she talking about?
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Old 06-07-2013, 05:32 AM
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What are the current access arrangements? How long separated?
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Old 06-07-2013, 06:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deadwood View Post
My ex wants to get a court order that my child will make his own decisions where to go when she is 12. My Ex is having a hard time handling the child not because she is bad, she is actually very well behaved, but because she wants to come live with me. I said that it should be done immediately as I wil gladly take her but she said wait until she is 12 so she can make her own court order??? What is she talking about?
Children should not be making decisions about where they live. They should be told that they will be spending 50% of the time with their mother, and 50% of the time with their father. Parents are the ones who need to decide if it will deviate from the above, not the children.

Your kid is not even 12, why is she involved in this discussion at all? She is not an adult, stop sticking her with adult-level decisions.
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Old 06-07-2013, 07:39 AM
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There is no magic age.

Usually at 12 the judge will begin to consider the wishes of the child, this however does not mean that just because the child is 12 they get to do as they wish.
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Old 06-07-2013, 07:42 AM
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The judge will hear what a 12 or 13 year old has to say about living arrangements. They'll take it into consideration but it's not necessarily a deciding factor. But a better course of action is a home study. It's an impartial review, they meet with both parents, the child, sometimes will meet with the physician, guidance counsellor, etc anyone involved with the child and will make recommendations based on everything.

It's important to discuss things to a certain point with the kdis but not everything. Children also have a habit of playing the divorce card, telling each parent they want to live with them. Counselling is probably a good idea but a home study would give a judge a clear picture of how the child really feels.
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Old 06-07-2013, 10:00 AM
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Do you (whoever reads this) think it's good or bad for a child to change homes so often (every other week or whatever 50/50 arrangements could be)?
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Old 06-07-2013, 10:04 AM
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Do you (whoever reads this) think it's good or bad for a child to change homes so often (every other week or whatever 50/50 arrangements could be)?


Gotta love the stability argument. I'm amazed that so many mothers hate their children so much that they would sacrifice them on the altar just to squeeze out a few extra child support dollars.

Oh, wait, I'm making assumptions. Tell us mother, what is your opinion on whether it is good for kids to switch homes?
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Old 06-07-2013, 10:05 AM
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Do you (whoever reads this) think it's good or bad for a child to change homes so often (every other week or whatever 50/50 arrangements could be)?
I think it is best for the child if they have as much opportunity as possible to have two parents. And the court seems to support that as well. There may be some exceptions for babies who are breast feeding.

It is selfish to try and keep your children from having a full relationship with their father.
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Old 06-07-2013, 10:08 AM
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Do you (whoever reads this) think it's good or bad for a child to change homes so often (every other week or whatever 50/50 arrangements could be)?
Yes.

And the courts and government agree, hence the maximum contact provisions in the legislation. While 50/50 hasn't been legislated in here as the starting point, many other jurisdictions have such legislation (Australia, some places in Europe and a few US States).
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Old 06-07-2013, 10:10 AM
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I don't think there's anything wrong with a 50/50 arrangment if both parents are willing to make it work. A relationship with both parents is very important (of course assuming they are responsible loving parents).

In many cases, one party fights a 50/50 arrangement because child support will be reduced or eliminated.
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