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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 02-03-2006, 07:27 PM
TEC TEC is offline
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Default Bye Bye Kids?

My wife and I are divorcing. We are currently living Georgia and are moving back to Canada shortly to do the divorce. She wants to move back down to Georgia as soon as she can to be with her "new wonderful man". Can she legally take my kids down there with her? Given my situation I would only be able to see the once a year.
Any advice?
TEC
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Old 02-03-2006, 07:49 PM
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TEC,

Both parents, mother and father are equally entitled to custody of the children. Incidents of custody are determined on the best interest of the children test.

You cannot stop your wife from moving, this right is protected by the Canadian charter of rights and freedoms, but you may be able to stop the children from moving if it is determined to be not in their best interest.

If your situation does not have a solution, you will not have no other alternative than to bring the matter before the courts.

If this occurs, be sure to ask for sole custody of the children with a superior parenting plan and proposed plan of care of the children in place.

Some things to consider and what the courts would look at for relocating children are the disruption and impact any pending move may have on the children;

age of the children;

who was and is the primary caregiver;

Current meaningful relationships with each parent;
what alternate proposed access regime; to continue to foster the relationship;

the reason for the move;

Disruption to meaningful extended family relationships;

Disruption to school, and friends;

One thing to keep in mind is a move may be the best interest of a particular parent, but not necessarily the best interest of children.
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Old 02-04-2006, 06:49 PM
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Default Re:Bye Bye Kids

The reason she wants to move back down here is to see if anything would develop relationshipwise between her and her new "friend". This friend is also married by the way and she tells me he is devoted to his family. So go figure. She tells me that he and his wife do not share a bed etc etc its only a piece of paper like she tells me about our marrige.
She has ended our physical relationship and told me that if the opportunity arises she will be inimate with him. We will move back to our home in Canada (she has to come do to visa reasons) which I think is in my favor because I will fight to the end to keep the kids with me. She will have to apply for a visa to come back down to the states to see what happens between them, but she will have no job to start with, be living on her own with the kids, and on and on.
Tonight I am with the kids while she has gone out to "visit her friends" Its killing me. I don't know how much more I can take of this.
Its been less the 2 weeks since we were intimate and just like that I am out, he is in.
Hanging on by a thread
TEC
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Old 02-05-2006, 08:00 PM
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This whole situation is very new and things may change...do you still want her back? How long has she known this "friend"? She is in the infatuation stage and this wont last long....I don't think she can take the kids away like that if you fight it....It is about THEIR rights to see their father on a regular basis, not her rights.
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Old 02-06-2006, 01:11 AM
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I'd like to know how long she has known him too, is it just a fling, or someone on the rebound?
Seems a huge step to want to move away to be with him.
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Old 02-06-2006, 07:39 AM
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Default Re Bye Bye kids

She has been taking karate with our kids for just under a year. This guy is the owner/instructor of the studio. She made a girlfriend there who is a single mom and is a friend of this instructor. This friend was infatuated with the instructor. They all would get together to talk about life etc three nights a week after karate class. This instructor is building a new studio and my wife volenteered to go help out at the building site occasionally. Now its all the time so I started asking questions and found out that she is in fact very "fond" of him and his is in return so hense the big push to stay down here. I would say they have been seriously talking for 2-3 months. She has to move back to Canada with my do to visa reasons and then wants to apply for a new visa to come back down here.
I stated that I will keep the kids and do whatever it takes to give them a good life in Canada and she can go back to her new friend or whatever he is. I feel that if I get the kids back home and setup a stable environment that I would be favored to keep them as she will have no job down there or place to stay etc etc when she moves back.
Im so worn out from this its hard to keep focused and positive but I must find a way somehow if I want my kids near me. It would kill me for her to be down here with them and given my situation I would only be able to see them about once a year.
Thanks for your feedback as I really don't have anyone else to talk to at this time.
TEC
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Old 02-06-2006, 11:52 PM
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I think you and aden are in similar situations, have you had a good talk to him?
You 2 could provide good support to each other as well.
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Old 02-07-2006, 12:02 AM
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TEC,

You almost have to play it out and see what happens. When you do move back to Canada, and have started a stable life for the children, I would ask for custody of the children. It appears that your plan may be more superior and stable over hers especially if she is make long term plans on notions that may not go anywhere.

Stability is very important for children and everything will be focused on the children's best interest.

To me a child's best interest is to have both parent's actively involved in its life, but to do so requires a very frequent interaction but somehow a non-custodial parent is often marginalized out of the child's life. It is sort of an oxymoron situation.
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Old 02-07-2006, 11:14 AM
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Seems that an emotional affair was started and a bond made between the three.

Affairs of any sort normally do not last very long ...

Tec, someone is moving in on your territory (your wife), you'll have to fight to get her back ... provided that's what you want.

There are many sources on the NET regarding affairs and how to overcome them. Many couples have been able to overcome situations whereby one spouse had an affair and their marriage's went on to be stronger.

One good thing ... her moving back to Canada with you, gives you 'exclusive' access to her to go to work winning her back ... and guess what, you have the advantage ... so educate yourself on what your dealing with and formulate a plan to get her back.

You CAN come out of this winning ... if you want to.

Hubby
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Old 02-09-2006, 05:47 PM
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Default Re:Bye Bye Kids

Yes, I would take her back.I am probably a fool for thinking that but I know that she is a good person. Its just this situation with the other guy, knowing she is going out to see him, sleep with him etc and me having to sit back and take it all in is tearing me apart. Sometimes the feeling in my stomach is so intense I feel dizzy, I am starting to question if I can keep my sanity through all this.
I question why the two of them don't have the decency to wait until we went our separate ways to pursue a physical relationship. Unfortunately living down in the states I can't move out so I must wait till we move back to Canada in May to separate us from here until she comes up with a way to return unless she finds a way between now and then in which case I will probably be sent packing without the kids. As far as winning her back fighting for her, it probably won't work as once she sets her mind to something thats it. I can't believe that she it willing to put our girls (8 & 6 ) through this! She is so hellbent on this guy that she is not seeing how irrational she is being.
I feel my only hope to secure regular visitation of the girls is to get home.
I don't know how much longer I can go on like this, I am afraid I might snap it the wrong thing is said or done.
God give me the strength to deal with this....
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