Brokendad and bad court order

[brokendad]

Essentially she left with the two little ones. Accused me of child assault. Went into hiding with help of FACs.Punitive court order restricts my calls, access, fequency of visitaition etc. Basically includes a restraining order against me limiting my access to neighborhood for pickup of children only.Now the rest of the story. OCl does their disclosure. Will not support mom for custody because she fails to communicate, Will not support mom for joint custody as she has the 4 yr old son sleeping with her 42 yr old female friend.Recomends a psych evaluation for mom . Supports me the non biological father ( children are IVF with donnor sperm) for sole custody of the children. So whats the problem? I cannot seem to get the lawyer to move to court on this matter. Could a judge not put these reccomendations into effect by order.?Pre-trial judge supports OCL findings but would not make order.
I ve asked to settle on a joint caring and control arrangement but seem to be making zero progress as mom simply hides behind the court order. tonight after dropping off the children ( they primarily reside with her) I popped in to see the next door neighbor , shortly therafter the police showed at the door telling me I was in violation of the court order and my business in the neighborhood was finished. Thats how punitive whe wants to make it. Frankly I think my lawyer dropped the ball when he recomended the terms of the court order in the first place.It seems that everything should be in my favor yet I'm miserable. I average about 21 hours per week with my children. No consecutitve days overnight.She would'nt even move a visitation day when my father recently had to face a cancer operation , he is 80.
Sorry for the sad tale but does anyone have any suggestions? The bill is well up there and climbing. I believe I'm the better parent but what good am I to them if I'm broke beyond recovery?

[Decent Dad]

What a horrible story. I've seen this 100 times before... now 101.

Where are you in the legal process? What court order the mom is hiding behind are you referring to (i.e. when was that made?). Has there been an application made? A "divorce" started? Did your lawyer offer suggestions like interim motions? Although, they probably will not rule on custody and access in an interim motion (as you indicated). And trials take over a year - at least two. Can you give a legal status and timeline (e.g. how long has this been going on, etc).

Hang in there. Be calm and cool.

[brokendad]

thankyou for your support. The court order I spoke of was signed to get her out of hiding so that I could see my children. three weeks is a long time when you know absolutely nothing about the whereabouts of your children.It was a real slap knowing my 3 yr old son and 10 month old daughter were in a shelter.We are into to it for about 14 mos. there is no divorce proceeding yet as child issues are not resolved.there is no direct custody order. It was written as a caring and sharing arrangment.There seems to be so much legal hocus-pocus that you can't tell if your getting BS'd by the lawyer or not.He seems to be a good individual I don't understand why they hold so dearly to this collaborative law process--letters back and forth to lawyers--being "nice"while in the background they are vultures.