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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 09-08-2017, 08:55 AM
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I'm sorry it came across as judgemental. I was actually feeling sad for your family because your situation is highly emotionally charged and it will only have negative ramifications.

In most marriages where the relationships continue past the expiry date, typically infidelity occurs and a lot of other crappy things. You say the marriage wasn't loving, I think that you both are responsible for fixing or moving on - not continuing with the banalities of life and then being devastated when the inevitable occurs. Marriage breakdowns are not one sided unless your partner is a narcissist.

Perhaps in his mind he truly sees the separation as having started earlier. If there's that much $ at stake then a forensic accountant will get to the bottom of it - there's paper/electronic trails to everything thankfully! Furthermore if he's simply contesting separation date, that doesn't indicate that he's hiding assets, more likely he doesn't want to share appreciation of property he purchased since his version of the separation date - many here wouldn't fault him for that! You make no mention on whether he has declared the down payment of his new home.

From a human perspective and from a woman's perspective my heart breaks for what your feeling. Falling apart when there were signs of a break down in marriage is quite dramatic- you have to be the strong mother your children deserve.

Accusing the father of your 5 children of defrauding you and being a cheater will only hurt them and will prevent healing.

If I were in your shoes there wouldn't be any amount of money that would force me into litigation and put my fate into the hands of a judge and pay copious amounts of hard earned money to the lawyers.

It's funny how one single act of kindness towards your stbx will turn this around and mediate instead - trust that this is achievable even in highly contentious situations. Even more importantly it will protect your kids from the high conflict.






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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 09-08-2017, 09:54 AM
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I was not devastated the marriage ended, it's what he did and how he did it: He took me out for dinner, when we arrived home he stood in the driveway holding an envelope, announced he wasn't coming in, that our marriage was over, he was leaving and he had a house. I stood there in disbelief. I asked him to come inside to discuss the details and he said there was nothing to discuss, handed me the envelope and left.

When I went in the house, all of his possessions were gone. His friends had come in the house and moved him out.

Inside the envelope was a 6 page letter from him (very business like) and a letter from his lawyer. His letter indicated he had cut off my credit cards, and he decided he would put me on his payroll through his office a minimum wage. With that I was to pay all the expenses of our 3000 sq ft home, the car payment, get my own cell plan, the utilities, the taxes, everything. (I quickly went into debt as this was not feasible).

Yes I will have to hire a forensic accountant. He's not "simply contesting the separation date;" he is making up all kinds of lies to convince the court we were living separate and apart until he left, when we were not. It is discouraging that an officer of the court such as he can sign Affidavits that are full of falsehoods.

We keep the kids from knowing the details. I do not speak of him while they are visiting from school. They do know I am having financial difficulty.

You are wrong about a single act of kindness in our situation. I've already done that yet he continues to make my life miserable financially. In fact, at his insistence I sold the matrimonial home needing my half of the value (the house was in my name only) to pay for my new townhouse. He knew that for 5 months yet two weeks before closing he refused to sign the consent of sale demanding all the proceeds be held in trust. My lawyer had to start an application to get a judge to force him to consent, otherwise I would be in breach of contract. He eventually cooperated and my half of the proceeds were released to me on closing; his half still sits in trust.

It is clear he intends to make this difficult so that I do waste money on lawyers to get him to do what he has to do anyway. It's been 18 months and he STILL hasn't given us his income tax returns for the past 3 years.

I am over $56,000 in debt to my father while he bought a new $100,000 Audi. We've never bought new vehicles (always used), so he's got money somewhere.


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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 09-08-2017, 12:01 PM
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What a jerk. Hire a forensic accountant and get EVERYTHING you can. You and your kids will need it. Forget about kindness, he is a stranger now, you have to look after your kids - they are your priority.
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Old 09-08-2017, 12:43 PM
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Is he supporting the kids financially?


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Old 09-08-2017, 02:09 PM
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What a dickless ahole.

Your legal journey will be long (because he has the $$ to make it so). You can most definitely have your lawyer get Order to advance you money from matrimonial property to pay your bills and ensure that you have proper legal representation. Court will ensure you can litigate on equal footing. Get this done yesterday. Of course your lawyer will arrange interim Order for SS (this is usually very high to encourage the dick-head to NOT drag things out).
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Old 09-08-2017, 02:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
What a dickless ahole.

Your legal journey will be long (because he has the $$ to make it so). You can most definitely have your lawyer get Order to advance you money from matrimonial property to pay your bills and ensure that you have proper legal representation. Court will ensure you can litigate on equal footing. Get this done yesterday. Of course your lawyer will arrange interim Order for SS (this is usually very high to encourage the dick-head to NOT drag things out).


He has put her on his payroll. How will that affect SS and order for advance?



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Old 09-08-2017, 02:58 PM
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It will show his dishonesty (if she is not an "employee"). He will have a fine time explaining that to CRA as well.....

A competent lawyer would have been in front of a judge within a week, of when he walked out, obtaining interim Order for substantial SS and CS. THEN you start negotiations.

This woman should NOT be in debt to her father. Ridiculous.
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Old 09-08-2017, 03:00 PM
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Default Backdating Date of Separation

I'm with Arabian... find yourself a new lawyer.

What is also curious as to why the house was solely in your name.

If it was solely in your name, why would he block the sale of the home?


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Old 09-08-2017, 03:02 PM
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Yep and hope she has current lawyer's bill assessed.

She needs a competent, experienced lawyer - not another friend.
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Old 09-08-2017, 04:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by len14 View Post
Is he supporting the kids financially?


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Yes. He pays their tuition and rent.


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