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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 06-01-2011, 03:44 PM
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Default agreement not worth the paper it's on?

Hi there,

I'm hoping someone can give me a little advise here. Naive I am still to thinking my ex would actually follow the signed agreement (Nov. 10). Agreement states that special expenses, especially those outlined in the agreement will be split 60/40. 60 for him. Each month I prepare a really neat spreadsheet of those expenses and send him - with receipts. 6 months later, not a penny. I'm make sure it is prepared fairly as I know the couple of items he has paid for and I took them it into consideration. I've asked several times he pay me. He will not respond to emails or my direct questions. He even stated he does not check emails, but when he does, he doesn't respond. He was very abusive during the marriage and now he can still control me. For his salary, really not much for him to pay I'm looking at $60/month average - plus medical/dental.

Medical and dental expenses for the children have to be claimed under his benefits first because as per insurance guildlines, his birthday is first in the year. My son sees an ortho and I was foolish enough to pay $1500 on my credit card. I give him the receipts, even had the forms filled out for him to submit and 8 months later, he has yet to file. I called the insurance company and they say I'm out of luck. I have medical and dental insurance too, but can't claim as his birthday is first.

I don't make enough to cover my monthly expenses and these amounts, small to most people, but to me it is a lot. I was told we can ask FRO to inforce special expenses, but at what cost to me? He knows I have no money for a lawyer and to go to court. If I have to take my children to the doctor, I can't afford medicine. Last time I did, I foolishly gave him the receipt thinking he'd reimburse me right away. Again, no.

Also, my agreement states we both have medical insurance. Okay, simple enough I agreed. But never thought this would happen.

Can I amend my agreement stating I want out of medical and dental for the children seeing he has them? I can't afford the cost of this benefit. Not use if I can't use the plan. The money I save will use towards and medicine I buy for the children.

So is my question true? Agreement not worth the paper it is on? I can't afford to hire a lawyer to enforce. Can I do it on my own?

I really need the money as little as it is.

We share custody 50/50.

Thank you for any advise you have to offer.
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Old 06-01-2011, 06:42 PM
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you can have the agreement amended to allow you to submit on behalf of the kids to his insurance - or he can just agree to that and tell his insurance to let you files claims on behalf of the kids...
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Old 06-01-2011, 08:54 PM
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Contact your local family law office where clerks will assist you probably for free to draft the necessary documents to enforce your agreement , file them , and set a court date to appear. If you can get this on a court Order, I would think your provincial enforcement agency will then collect for you. Hopefully others here will be able to advise you on Ontario procedure but hundreds of people do this kind of thing every month so how hard can it be. You might even tell him in advance that you intend to proceed and maybe he will just pay up.
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Old 06-01-2011, 09:40 PM
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There are few methods at your disposal, all of them ratchet up the confrontation with your ex and so you have to examine the consequences/benefit to yours and your children's lives.

First, I'm assuming you do not already have a court file in place. If you haven't already done so, register your separation agreement at your courthouse - bring several copies and the form 26B "Affidavit for filing domestic contract or paternity agreement with court" from the court forms site. You are the applicant and he is the respondent. The clerk will give you back your copies of the agreement with copies of the form 26B stamped with a seal.

You can let your ex know once you've done this, and that you will proceed with two options:
1. register the unpaid funds with FRO for collection, including garnishment; this could be tricky depending on the wording of your separation agreement - you should contact the FRO about the specific nature of your case and see what can be done
2. file a motion to change the agreement under court order and then seek enforcement of those changes; for example, you could ask the court to take the expenses and factor them into a child support amount and make the enforcement and collection easier

I recommend you visit FLIC and get advice there from the duty counsel on your specific case. They may present you with other options. Bring an outline of your budget and your ex's budget, and an outline of what you want.

Your initial filing will have a cost, the rest is about your time. If you decide to pursue court action it will be tiring, time consuming, and at times frustrating. However, there are many of us in this forum who have done it themselves before and can help walk you through the steps.

All of the above assumes Ontario residence.

FG
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Old 06-01-2011, 10:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemy2kids View Post
Hi there,

I'm hoping someone can give me a little advise here. Naive I am still to thinking my ex would actually follow the signed agreement (Nov. 10). Agreement states that special expenses, especially those outlined in the agreement will be split 60/40. 60 for him. Each month I prepare a really neat spreadsheet of those expenses and send him - with receipts. 6 months later, not a penny. I'm make sure it is prepared fairly as I know the couple of items he has paid for and I took them it into consideration. I've asked several times he pay me. He will not respond to emails or my direct questions. He even stated he does not check emails, but when he does, he doesn't respond. He was very abusive during the marriage and now he can still control me. For his salary, really not much for him to pay I'm looking at $60/month average - plus medical/dental.

Medical and dental expenses for the children have to be claimed under his benefits first because as per insurance guildlines, his birthday is first in the year. My son sees an ortho and I was foolish enough to pay $1500 on my credit card. I give him the receipts, even had the forms filled out for him to submit and 8 months later, he has yet to file. I called the insurance company and they say I'm out of luck. I have medical and dental insurance too, but can't claim as his birthday is first.

I don't make enough to cover my monthly expenses and these amounts, small to most people, but to me it is a lot. I was told we can ask FRO to inforce special expenses, but at what cost to me? He knows I have no money for a lawyer and to go to court. If I have to take my children to the doctor, I can't afford medicine. Last time I did, I foolishly gave him the receipt thinking he'd reimburse me right away. Again, no.

Also, my agreement states we both have medical insurance. Okay, simple enough I agreed. But never thought this would happen.

Can I amend my agreement stating I want out of medical and dental for the children seeing he has them? I can't afford the cost of this benefit. Not use if I can't use the plan. The money I save will use towards and medicine I buy for the children.

So is my question true? Agreement not worth the paper it is on? I can't afford to hire a lawyer to enforce. Can I do it on my own?

I really need the money as little as it is.

We share custody 50/50.

Thank you for any advise you have to offer.
-- I'm sorry to say you don't sound like good candidates for joint custody. The court system is a labrynthe but you could represent yourself on this matter of recovering med expenses. Even after winning sole custody and being nailed with court costs my ex still doesn't respond to my emails! Didn't learn a thing. But I have learned to expect that and used his inabilty and refusal to communicate as proof that we could not co-parent.
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Old 06-01-2011, 11:41 PM
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Thank you so much to all that responded. I really appreciate it. I will take all this information and put it to good use.

As one commented, not a candidate for joint custody. You couldn't of said it better. Every cousellor, even my lawyer said not a good idea as he won't communicate and he was cruel. But he had the money, hatred for me (I did nothing wrong), and I ran out of money trying to fight. His lawyer was terrible and kept stalling and stalling for months and argueing over foolish things. He wanted to bargain on child support. He wanted 50/50 so his child support would be considerablly less. The agreement was written by him and in order for him to sign, I had to give back contents of the house, children's money, gifts he gave me, no claim to spousal support, and to boot, he had property coming into the marriage which the value was his to deduct which was 90% of our assests. He sold property during marriage to use to matrimonial home. What a scam the family law courts are. Married 13 years and work and supported the home. They ignored my lawyer's requests for months and months. I couldn't leave without his signing the agreement and he used my emotional health as a ways of getting everything. Then they said if you don't agree to this little sum, we'll renovate the home and stage it and sell it in a year. This was all in front of the judge who was listening and said nothing. All awhile I'm not allowed to leave matrimonial home without jeopardizing my custody. There is evil and for whatever reason, I married it. I signed and left and am happy.

I struggle monthly to pay rent and buy food and pay for transportation plus the kids needs, but have wonderful friends. I get a free meal from time to time and I have great outlook on life. So even $60/month to $100 goes a very long way for me.

Again, thanks all who responded. I will do this and see where it takes me.
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Old 06-02-2011, 08:03 AM
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You can totally claim through your insurance. If you are going to claim twice (through both parents), they want first birthday, then 2nd birthday), but if he is not going to be compliant, I would just claim on my own to get some money. I have been doing this for 2 years without any problem. ince my benefits are 80% for drugs and 90% for dentist, it's just the easiest way.

My ex and I tend to alternate presriptions, etc for our daughter. We have only had small bills so far, so I'm sure we will double dip when we hit braces. Just my suggestion
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Old 06-02-2011, 03:47 PM
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While we are on the topic of filing for amendment........I would like to file and amendment to my court order agreement.

Can anybody confirm which court forms I would use to file the amendment in Ontario ??
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Old 06-02-2011, 07:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dad4life View Post
While we are on the topic of filing for amendment........I would like to file and amendment to my court order agreement.

Can anybody confirm which court forms I would use to file the amendment in Ontario ??
Please start a new thread and include basics of case history and motivations so we can help you. Starting a new thread helps others find the topics that appeal to them without digging around.

FG
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