Advice puh-lease :)

[madm82]

So my exes lawyer is asking me to suspend all support payments and to suspend FRO from taking his driver's license away. What should I do?? If I do not respond in 5 days, they are taking to me to court (and of course asking for costs). But my exes benefits pay short and long term disability, so shouldn't he have had to of paid something in the past 6 months?? Any advice would be great. If you need more info. just ask

[NBDad]

I'm assuming he's in arrears for CS payments and you haven't received anything.

The onus is on HIM as the payor to request his CS be modified down to account for any unforseen decrease in income.

Has he paid ANYTHING in CS? Has he made any prior request to you to have his payments reduced? Has be provided any proof of his reduction in income? Why is he no longer working?

[madm82]

No he has not paid anything. And yes, it is for CS.

He has not made any prior attempt or requests to reduce his payments.

I just found out today that he is not longer working due to doctor's orders due to a medical condition (that he apparently knew of since Sept. but this is the first that I am hearing of it).

He has not provided proof to me of a reduction in income, however, his lawyer stated that in court he will bring all relevant paperwork.

[madm82]

Also, to add, however, we were in court in September, and he never mentioned any of this, although apparently he has been off of work two or three weeks before we actually attended court.

[NBDad]

Reply back that you are more than willing to review his request to reduce his CS payments down to what his income actually is, so please send you the relevant documents showing what he is earning so you can discuss it.

However until you receive the information showing the amounts he is receiving for EI/Disability/etc that you are not willing to agree to reduce the amount, nor are you willing to withdraw from FRO enforcement given his history of non payment.

What the ex is doing is taking steps to hold off on FRO taking his license. IF there is a pending motion to address the arrears/etc he can stop that action by FRO until the motion is heard.

If they don't provide you proof of new income etc, you simply go to court, bring the documents that show you requested the information of them and were refused/ignored, and then agree to allow his income to be adjust to whatever he is getting from EI/Disability/etc go forward from the DATE YOU RECEIVED COMMUNICATION from the lawyer.

Which is to say, the date you were officially asked to reduce support

[madm82]

NBDad- I actually feel as though that is a great position to take (way better than what I was thinking LOL) Thank you so much for your help! I think I am going to formulate my response now

[NBDad]

No worries. It's actually what he's entitled to legally. If his income experiences a drop, he's supposed to inform you, request that you decrease his payments accordingly (while providing proof of income to back up his request).

You agree, since it's a reasonable request, the two of you then file a motion on consent to the new CS amounts, it gets rubber stamped by the courts, and he send that to FRO. His payments are then adjusted accordingly, etc, etc. No fuss, no muss, no hassle. Little to no cost. No need for lawyer, or court, etc.

That's the way the system is designed. It's how it's SUPPOSED to work. However when people are stupid (not putting forth the request, or not agreeing to the request once it's made) then of course the system implodes and gets messy. He screwed up, and now he's having to play catch up.

EDIT: Taking the position of being amicable to a reduction as of the date he officially asked for one will save you if they push to court. It eliminates their ability to ask for costs, since you've already responded with a reasonable and amicable request.

[madm82]

I realize he is entitled to that legally, just so frustrated that he wouldn't have done it from the get-go, I guess, therefore, I get a little twisted and then can't think clearly lol. Makes it worse when he wants ME to stop FRO from taking his license away - HE needs to clean up his own mess, I would think, not me

[madm82]

Originally Posted by NBDad

EDIT: Taking the position of being amicable to a reduction as of the date he officially asked for one will save you if they push to court. It eliminates their ability to ask for costs, since you've already responded with a reasonable and amicable request.

That's the way I *felt* after reading your response. Maybe that is why I felt good about sending it off that way, as I knew deep down that it was a reasonable and amicable sounding request...... instead of mine, which was just to tell him to F -off

[NBDad]

It's a game, you just need to know how to play it. I've gotten very very good at it, more necessity than anything. Would gladly trade my knowledge for the 2 years and 10K it cost me.