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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #41 (permalink)  
Old 03-24-2014, 11:14 AM
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DowntroddenDad will become famous soon enough

It is a common legal tactic, especially in family law it seems, to push go on the offensive and push hard for unrealistic goals to throw the other side off balance emotionally. This would seems to be what he is doing to you. He doesn't necessarily want sole custody, he wants to throw a curve at you, get you emotionally engaged, make you cringe.

As difficult as it is (and I've been there), don't let him get away with it. Personally I wouldn't offer to eliminate CS altogether, that is the right of the child, and an important principle - what if you lose your job or become unable to work? CS is the right of the child.

Instead I would propose that you look at the offset child support you would get if it was 50/50. That makes you look reasonable and your ex look demanding when you present the fact you made a reasonable offer to settle and it was rejecetd.

Forgiving arrears (especially if you think it will be very difficult to collect them) is another carrot you can dangle. Again, if you make this part of a formal offer that he rejects, it makes him look like the inflexible one.

And of course I agree with the other posters, he doesn't stand a chance of sole custody unless he can prove you are an incompetent mother. He may try to prove alienation, but if you can prove you provide all the access he asks for, that won't stand up.

Take a deep breath. It will be ok.
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  #42 (permalink)  
Old 04-05-2014, 02:34 PM
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 49
drainedbysystem is on a distinguished road

Thanks for the advice and listening to my rants....

One the eve of filing a motion for financial disclosure ....we finally settled. Bittersweet victory.

I have full custody of our boys. 0 arrears and no CS. I keep the house which is mortgage free.

He's moving to australia with his new family. Happy for him but sad for our boys.

All that stressing for nothing....we didn't even make it to settlement conf. So happy there will be no trial! Yippee....hello freedom!!!

So glad its over
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  #43 (permalink)  
Old 04-05-2014, 02:47 PM
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Location: Western Canada
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arabian will become famous soon enough

If you are pleased with the outcome then you have reason to celebrate.

hope you plan for a rainy day and immediately obtain comprehensive disability insurance for yourself. One never knows what the future may bring.
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  #44 (permalink)  
Old 04-05-2014, 02:48 PM
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Like you said...bittersweet victory...pretty bad for your kiddos.

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