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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 10-04-2017, 09:50 AM
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What would you do if your otherwise wonderful 15 year old decided that she was no longer going to go to school?

What would you do if your otherwise wonderful 15 year old decided that she was never again going to take a shower?

What would you do if your otherwise wonderful 15 year old decided that she was going to start using the word "cunt" in every sentence?

What would you do if your otherwise wonderful 15 year old decided that it was time to have a baby?

...my guess is that you would decide to be a parent. But, maybe you're different.
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Old 10-04-2017, 11:00 AM
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The difference for me is that there is no control over the situation.

If my child was having trouble at school, first I would help them navigate it themselves but if they couldn't, I certainly would step in to advocate and assist to help correct the situation. I wouldn't just say "go to school!" without doing whatever I could to help if it was needed.

Unfortunately there isn't anything you can do about the other parent's home. If she doesn't want to go, what is he really going to do? Force her? Take away her phone?

Obviously his daughter does not want to be there if she is using any means available to get back to Dad's.

I hardly see comparing this to not bathing as useful.
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Old 10-04-2017, 12:11 PM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
So a 15-year-old wants to make adult decisions. Then perhaps it is time to take the 15-year-old by the hand over to the other parent's home and the three of you have an adult discussion about this. You say you don't talk to the other parent. Well perhaps it is time that you do. Your teenage child should understand that there are outcomes for decisions he/she makes in life.

By doing this you show your child that an agreement was made with the other parent many years ago and if child wants to change that agreement then there are legal steps to be taken. These legal steps require that you hire a lawyer. This will cost money which may or may not affect your home situation.

This is an excellent opportunity to teach child about accountability.
Agreed. You really should sit down and discuss options with your daughter at least. What about reduced times at Mom's?
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Old 10-04-2017, 09:52 PM
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This situation requires you to get over to mom's house for a conversation, in my opinion. I get it - I don't talk to my ex either unless extremely necessary. She obviously needs to talk it out with her mom and perhaps she would feel safer to do so with you present.


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Old 10-04-2017, 10:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
What would you do if your otherwise wonderful 15 year old decided that she was no longer going to go to school?

What would you do if your otherwise wonderful 15 year old decided that she was never again going to take a shower?

What would you do if your otherwise wonderful 15 year old decided that she was going to start using the word "cunt" in every sentence?

What would you do if your otherwise wonderful 15 year old decided that it was time to have a baby?

...my guess is that you would decide to be a parent. But, maybe you're different.

You are being unbelievably hostile and antagonistic perhaps coming from your personal turmoil and jaded lifestyle.

Your language is disgusting and my suggestion is please stay off any threads if you have nothing to add.
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Old 10-04-2017, 10:07 PM
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Another thing to think about is that you want to raise children who obey law correct?

Have you discussed the full impact of your daughter's actions with her? Does she realize that to keep the police from being involved that you have to go to court and file a motion? Are you used to self-representing in court or would you hire a lawyer? Does your daughter know the cost of hiring a lawyer? Would large legal bills (thousands of dollars) have a negative effect on your family's current lifestyle?

You might want to ask your daughter what she is willing to do without in order for you to go to court and get the order changed. First thing that comes to my mind is cell phone. Also, I found it quite curious that your daughter can afford to travel by Uber. Does she have a part-time job and pays for this?

Children at that age are in the "me me me" stage and they make impulsive decisions without thinking things through (no thought of consequence). This is why they are still deemed to be "children" according to family law.
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Old 10-04-2017, 10:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ange71727 View Post
This situation requires you to get over to mom's house for a conversation, in my opinion. I get it - I don't talk to my ex either unless extremely necessary. She obviously needs to talk it out with her mom and perhaps she would feel safer to do so with you present.


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I don't really care about your personal situation.

We don't talk. End of story. I can't go over there. She can't come here. End of story.

If you have nothing to add in a legal sense, why bother? Your situation is not my situation.
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Old 10-04-2017, 10:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Another thing to think about is that you want to raise children who obey law correct?

Have you discussed the full impact of your daughter's actions with her? Does she realize that to keep the police from being involved that you have to go to court and file a motion? Are you used to self-representing in court or would you hire a lawyer? Does your daughter know the cost of hiring a lawyer? Would large legal bills (thousands of dollars) have a negative effect on your family's current lifestyle?

You might want to ask your daughter what she is willing to do without in order for you to go to court and get the order changed. First thing that comes to my mind is cell phone. Also, I found it quite curious that your daughter can afford to travel by Uber. Does she have a part-time job and pays for this?

Children at that age are in the "me me me" stage and they make impulsive decisions without thinking things through (no thought of consequence). This is why they are still deemed to be "children" according to family law.

No offense but your advice is absolutely 100% horrific. And judging by the amount of time uou spend here: Thanks, but not thanks for your personal advice.

If you have nothing to add legally please stay off the thread. No one is taking a phone away a cell phone from an A+ student who also works 20-25 hrs. a week. She can afford her own phone.
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Old 10-04-2017, 10:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bjjgal View Post
I don't really care about your personal situation.

We don't talk. End of story. I can't go over there. She can't come here. End of story.

If you have nothing to add in a legal sense, why bother? Your situation is not my situation.


Well that's a completely unnecessary response. I was approaching it from a place of trying to help you. But that's fine. Good luck.


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Old 10-04-2017, 10:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SadAndTired View Post
The difference for me is that there is no control over the situation.

If my child was having trouble at school, first I would help them navigate it themselves but if they couldn't, I certainly would step in to advocate and assist to help correct the situation. I wouldn't just say "go to school!" without doing whatever I could to help if it was needed.

Unfortunately there isn't anything you can do about the other parent's home. If she doesn't want to go, what is he really going to do? Force her? Take away her phone?

Obviously his daughter does not want to be there if she is using any means available to get back to Dad's.

I hardly see comparing this to not bathing as useful.
Thanks, it seems their are few and far reasonable people here. I remember my deceased lawyer warning me about "going on the internet" for advice. I now know why. First and last time. Tons of jaded and very angry people here.

Anyways if this helps anyone here it is: I talked to a well regarded lawyer today and I was informed that she probably will get a Judge's order to go where she wants at this age . Seeing that she turns 16 in 4 weeks my lawyer stated, In Ontario , she can live wherever she pleases with no court order and no one can do anything about it including a Judge. The courts have never interfered with someone 16+ in a custody dispute.

Hopefully that helps anyone who is in my situation and my advice is: STAY OFF THESE FORUMS. They are toxic. Seems it full of angry ex wives and if you are male..oh boy.
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