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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 04-13-2016, 11:12 AM
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This came from my partners lawyer in relation to a contribution from someone else. For instance, my partners ex in laws provided a portion of kids cost for school. That amount could not be used to reduce the full cost before split or reduce the paying parents cost. They allocated it to the kids portion.

He also referenced Lewi v. Lewi where the father felt the grandfathers $20000 bequeath to each grandson should have been used for the full cost of school. Judge ruled the amount left to each kid could be used for their portion not to reduce the amount payable by dad.
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Old 04-13-2016, 11:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Thats a tricky one. For the most part, if a child decides to incur the cost of residence when living at home is available then they would be on the hook for more of the expense. But cs may be more expensive than residence. You may want to compare cs totals against the cost of residence and determine which is more financially positive. In my partners case, his cs is actually higher than his share of residence. However, his kid has chosen now to live off campus which means the costs will be increased.
Residence is definitely more expensive than cs. By quick calculation it will cost payor just over $10,000 more per year vs paying cs while child lives at home. The cost of residence at this campus is quite high - the highest of all the schools he applied to and his contribution to post-secondary is 70%.

I try to look at these things (all s7 etc expenses) from the "what would we be paying if we were still married". In this case, I would agree that child would be commuting from home unless he could pay for it himself. Just wondered what the general consensus is as parents of divorce seem to be on the hook for post-secondary expenses while married parents really aren't.
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Old 04-13-2016, 11:32 AM
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Where I lived the school was an hour away by bus and bus was covered in school fees so the no brainer was live at home and commute. I cant see your ex saying yes to residence especially when its more expensive and the benefit of being at home is much greater (mental health, emotional support, food etc). I would find it unreasonable to ask for residence when its so much more expensive. You may need to give your kid a reality check.
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Old 04-13-2016, 11:45 AM
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Yes - it looks like I'll have to give them both a reality check. I don't think living in residence is necessary if we live so close to the school. It will cost us all more to do it this way. And I seem to be the only one saying this...

Do you think it's reasonable to offer to pay my share of tuition/books/equipment etc and let them pay the additional costs of residence if they both think he should be living at school?

*You may remember that the youngest will have added cost for school transportation (I can't drive him back and forth anymore because of my own school schedule) and dad is refusing because he can take three public transit buses/1.5 hours each way. I'm looking at this and see the same argument for the eldest living at residence. Public transit - 1 hour is cheaper therefore that's all that is required of me.??? *
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Old 04-13-2016, 12:00 PM
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I dont want to sound heartless but your kids are 18 or getting there yes? They want this program as well and it has added benefits to them? Its not unreasonable for a parent to say toughen up and do what you have to to get where you want to be. Its not like you are sitting at home watching talk shows, youre going to school to upgrade yourself. You are working hard yourself. Yes it sucks and will be tough but it isnt in vain.

Maybe sit down and look at all the costs and figure out what is and isnt reasonable. Also see if there are carpools or other options. There may be other kids in your area in the same boat. Google ride shares and talk to the school about bulletin boards. In the future will both kids be at the same school? Possibly look into a used car they can share. If its going to end in a fight with your ex and cost more money to get what is owed it might not be worth the fight.
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Old 04-13-2016, 12:11 PM
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So should this be included in a SA and at what age should you be including this? If the child is 4 now should you include it or allude to it or wait u till they are teens?

I was thinking it should be included now.
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Old 04-13-2016, 12:18 PM
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eldest is nearly 18 and youngest is 14. Yes - BIG reality check for all is needed.

Eldest is working a new job and will get additional hours this summer. If he wants residence he's going to have to save as much as he can if he wants it enough. I've suggested getting a used car - I think it'll give him the independence he's ready for and is much more cost effective. If we were still married I would be suggesting the same thing. Parents shouldn't be expected to take on more than they can handle just because it's the child's "wish".

Youngest and I have exhausted all options for transportation to this school. (carpooling, private school bus, rideshare etc were all researched - even special requests to school bus co were no goes) We're down to public transit (3 hours travel a day on 6 buses) or taxi. Taxi obviously is the more expensive but youngest will be looking for a used car for himself (and paying for it) once he's sixteen. He's much more practical with $ than his brother but the expectation that he leaves the house at 5:45am to get to school is really unreasonable. He's handling the workload (90+% average) so I'm doing what I can to figure the rest out.
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Old 04-13-2016, 12:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachnana View Post
So should this be included in a SA and at what age should you be including this? If the child is 4 now should you include it or allude to it or wait u till they are teens?

I was thinking it should be included now.
Given how difficult your situation is in getting the support paid...yup get it all worked out now. Your grandchild may even decide to go to post-secondary where his dad resides and the expense of going to school in the US can be insane.
Figure out all the options and know what your daughter will agree to and won't.
My agreement is not detailed enough. (We had written multiple offers that had more detail but he wouldn't accept any of them and this, still temporary, one was what we could agree on while sitting outside the courthouse)
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Old 04-13-2016, 12:49 PM
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My partners lawyer told him it doesnt matter whats in his agreement, case law/jurisprudence are what sets the decision. His agreement is poorly written though and open to interpretation (his ex interprets it in her favour and he follows it to the letter).

Living in residence isnt all its cracked up to be and some kids sink rather than swim. Your son may do better being at home and it will teach him responsibility. Perhaps he can even help with his brother.

As awful as it is for the youngest, if he really wants this program than he will survive the travel. And there may be more options going forward.

We had one car growing up and scheduling who had to be where was a nightmare but we did it. My father paid nothing towards cs or school. We did it all ourselves. It taught us some very valuable lessons and your sons will see how much their father (doesnt) cares about them when hes unwilling to help on something as simple as transportation for school!
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Old 04-13-2016, 01:26 PM
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As long as I'm not legally responsible to pay for a share of residence costs...I'm good to just say no. I looked around for case law but didn't find much for a child living within commute of post-secondary. I'll pay my share of tuition/books/equipment etc and will even help him apply for OSAP this year so he can do it himself next time. He will likely be able to afford a nice little used car and will have to enjoy the freedom (and cost!) that provides.
Working my way through school the first time certainly helped me grow up. The second time is not as much fun!
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