Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Reference

Reference Important threads

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #61 (permalink)  
Old 10-26-2012, 11:20 PM
baldclub's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 456
baldclub is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Just be careful. As an enlisted member of the military you may be under obligation by contract not to make liable statements against the military and the positive opportunities it provides to families as a career. You wouldn't want to expose anything that puts the military and service in a bad light as an enlisted employee.

(Not being rude here or poking fun. Military contracts for employment under the terms of service are not a walk in the park to understand.)

You wouldn't want to post information in contravention to your terms of service agreement by which you suggest that military life is not supportive of a family needs. This could have an impact on anyone searching the internet for information about a "career" in the military negatively.
Thanks Tayken my friend, that is the last thing I plan on doing. The military is an honourable profession and I am proud of being able to serve. I mentioned the effects of military life on families, and its unique challenges. Here is a study called "Family Resilience: An Annotated Bibliography ", which you can find here. The abstract reads:

"All families are faced with challenges at one time or another. The military environment, however, presents additional challenges for families. Geographic isolation, postings, frequent time away, high-risk deployments, and unpredictability are unique aspects of military life that put stress on members and their families. The quality of life experienced by families is a key determinant of many outcomes that affect the Canadian Forces (CF) directly. As such, family resilience is a concept of prime importance in the CF. This annotated bibliography reviews work on family resilience in military families and similar populations, as well as in society in general. It presents a comprehensive collection of theoretical frameworks, models, and empirical literature on family resilience."

I personally disagree quite a bit with your statements:

"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Something that employee ("infantry soldier") should be addressing in their career. Same impact someone in a "buggy whip" industry should be considering. Like all the printing press operators who were laid off when the internet hit and published materials declined.

That is *life* not just "military life". Nothing you have described is "unique" to being in the military.

On average today in 2012 and going forward people often have to change careers. The "magical" world of one-job-one-career-for-life hasn't existing in society for quite some time now. Everyone should be working towards being able to adapt to change. Versus project blame that they can't change (careers, employment, update skills, etc...). Every human has the capability to "change".
You know Tayken, the military is great for training and retraining to other trades in the military. You may be able to remuster and then get posted back to the base of your choice, but this typically is not simple, it may take years before there is an opening and if you get where you want to go, you would still be looking at getting posted out as that is the way of life in the military: postings.

Obviously some of the skill sets you acquire are transferable to civilian life. They definitely help with upgrading your education as probably has been mentioned, I'm halfway through a degree.

You talked about there not being any 'safe' employment anymore in our society, well in terms of job safety there are few professions as secure as the military. Obviously this may not apply to safety in terms of coming home from a deployment all in one piece.

However, when you spend a few years in places like Afghanistan dealing withe IEDs on a daily basis, and your job as an infanteer has been to literally learn how to "close with and destroy the enemy" let's just say that adjustment to civilian life may not be all that easy for everyone. And it takes its toll on the soldier and everyone around them. Remember that.

The original thread about what constitutes real urgency in family court is an important point for me, and I apologize to everyone for clogging it up with posts about different issues. I would like to sum up by saying: It's just not that easy for someone to drop what they are doing in the military to stay close to their children. In fact, it can be a much harder task for some members of the military to 'change', adapt to civilian life and also to find employment in the same area as their children. It's not whining, it's a fact.
Reply With Quote
  #62 (permalink)  
Old 10-27-2012, 10:55 AM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,569
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
Thanks Tayken my friend, that is the last thing I plan on doing. The military is an honourable profession and I am proud of being able to serve.
I am proud of my job too. Does what I do make me less of a person than you? I am proud that I pay taxes that can be used to insure that this country can have an armed forces to protect our nation.

Family Resilience: An Annotated Bibliography ", which you can find http://cradpdf.drdc.gc.ca/PDFS/unc78/p530519.pdf

I have read it before.
All families are faced with challenges at one time or another. The military environment, however, presents additional challenges for families. Geographic isolation, postings, frequent time away, high-risk deployments, and unpredictability are unique aspects of military life that put stress on members and their families. The quality of life experienced by families is a key determinant of many outcomes that affect the Canadian Forces (CF) directly. As such, family resilience is a concept of prime importance in the CF. This annotated bibliography reviews work on family resilience in military families and similar populations, as well as in society in general. It presents a comprehensive collection of theoretical frameworks, models, and empirical literature on family resilience.
Ever met a "mining engineer" with family? The work in very dangerous places, work in geographically isolated areas, are frequently away from their family, have high-risk employment (abductions, ransoms, murders) and often work in mine camps that get frequently attacked.

Also, you could put people who work in the fisheries into the same catagory under the same conditions of work.

So, I don't see the relevance to the "military" being the problem in all the arguments being made in counter. The choice to be a mining engineer, work in fisheries, forestry, on an oil rig, military, are all personal choices. One has to live with the choices they make and adapt when necessary.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
You know Tayken, the military is great for training and retraining to other trades in the military.
And for those seeking a university level education offers services through the RMC and other public schooling. If planned properly one can achieve a PHD while serving.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
You may be able to remuster and then get posted back to the base of your choice, but this typically is not simple, it may take years before there is an opening and if you get where you want to go, you would still be looking at getting posted out as that is the way of life in the military: postings.
Mining engineer wanting to work in Toronto/Ottawa?
Oil rig worker wanting to work in Toronto/Ottawa?
Fisheries worker wanting to work in Toronto/Ottawa?

Can they get "posted" (a job) in Toronto/Ottawa as easily as say a "software engineer", "professional project manager", etc...?

Geography defines a lot of careers. Not just the military.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
Obviously some of the skill sets you acquire are transferable to civilian life. They definitely help with upgrading your education as probably has been mentioned, I'm halfway through a degree.
Discipline learned through the military, which is one of their best aspects of training in ANY role can be applied to any future goal. The one thing that the military is VERY good at is training in discipline. If one leverages this discipline learned through their military experience, a lot can be done.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
You talked about there not being any 'safe' employment anymore in our society, well in terms of job safety there are few professions as secure as the military. Obviously this may not apply to safety in terms of coming home from a deployment all in one piece.
Tell that to the mining engineers who put out oil field fires, are in the jungles of Africa being shot at, the ones working in Columbia who have been abducted and held for ransom, the ones who die on oil rig explosions and fires...

Tell that to a fisheries worker who's friend's boat was capsized in a storm.

There are dangerous jobs everywhere.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
However, when you spend a few years in places like Afghanistan dealing withe IEDs on a daily basis, and your job as an infanteer has been to literally learn how to "close with and destroy the enemy" let's just say that adjustment to civilian life may not be all that easy for everyone. And it takes its toll on the soldier and everyone around them. Remember that.
Life today is stressful. Veterans affairs has services to deal with that just like employers have Employee Assistant Programs (EAP) to assist employees with stress. There are more "civilians" in Afghanistan dealing with day-to-day life working than military. Imagine their stress of day-to-day life trying to work there. They haven't been trained to "close with and destroy the enemy"... They don't even know who the "enemy" is... Imagine the stress they must feel trying to get the infrastructure back together? They get shot at, have bombs thrown at them and they have no training. Are they not brave?

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
The original thread about what constitutes real urgency in family court is an important point for me, and I apologize to everyone for clogging it up with posts about different issues. I would like to sum up by saying: It's just not that easy for someone to drop what they are doing in the military to stay close to their children.
It is not easy for anyone in any industry be they a "civilian", "private citizen", or in the "military". But, change often comes in life and the adaptability to change is in one's own control and to project blame on any employer one has chosen to on their own free will to work for isn't going to win you favor in a custody and access dispute.

All citizens, be they military or "private" are seen equal under the Rules and Law that define custody and access.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
In fact, it can be a much harder task for some members of the military to 'change', adapt to civilian life and also to find employment in the same area as their children. It's not whining, it's a fact.
The fact is I still don't see how the military is any different than examples of possible employment provided in my thread. The problems the "military" poses is not all that different than other employers in private industry that "citizens" regularly do.

The key element is that no person joining the military, mining engineering, fisheries, oil rig worker, et all was *forced* to do this work. Everyone has a choice and when you signed your employment contract you were informed of the facts of the terms of the contract. If you were conscripted and forced against your will to do any of these jobs against your will... My deepest sympathies.

Good Luck!
Tayken

Last edited by Tayken; 10-27-2012 at 10:58 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #63 (permalink)  
Old 11-11-2012, 03:45 AM
baldclub's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 456
baldclub is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
I am proud of my job too. Does what I do make me less of a person than you? I am proud that I pay taxes that can be used to insure that this country can have an armed forces to protect our nation.
Haha! I am glad to hear you are proud of your job, Tayken my friend. I fail to understand the relevance of your question in bold above. You said to me:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Just be careful. As an enlisted member of the military you may be under obligation by contract not to make liable statements against the military and the positive opportunities it provides to families as a career. You wouldn't want to expose anything that puts the military and service in a bad light as an enlisted employee.
So I told you I was a proud member of the Canadian Forces, not at all in need to expose anything that puts the military and service in a bad light.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Ever met a "mining engineer" with family? The work in very dangerous places, work in geographically isolated areas, are frequently away from their family, have high-risk employment (abductions, ransoms, murders) and often work in mine camps that get frequently attacked.

Also, you could put people who work in the fisheries into the same catagory under the same conditions of work.
Can't say I have met a mining engineer, with family or not. I'm aware that danger lurks in many other professions but that is not what my argument is about. I know some civilians with jobs similar to mine go to some pretty remote places, have been in aircraft crashes, some adrenalin rush... I can only speak for myself though here, I have only first hand experience of losing seven buddies in combat, and being shot at myself. Mind you, getting shot at seems a much more pleasant experience than separation ... honestly.

I personally know the difficulties of being away from my family on a regular basis, and the stress it caused my spouse. It was incredibly tough for her and our baby while I was overseas.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
So, I don't see the relevance to the "military" being the problem in all the arguments being made in counter. The choice to be a mining engineer, work in fisheries, forestry, on an oil rig, military, are all personal choices. One has to live with the choices they make and adapt when necessary.
I disagree. The "military" relevance is as stated:

The military environment, however, presents additional challenges for families. Geographic isolation, postings, frequent time away, high-risk deployments, and unpredictability are unique aspects of military life that put stress on members and their families.

Whether it is a 'uniqueness' that applies to other trades and professions, that is not really a concern to me in this argument as the poster related to her husband's difficulties as a 'military' member.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Mining engineer wanting to work in Toronto/Ottawa?
Oil rig worker wanting to work in Toronto/Ottawa?
Fisheries worker wanting to work in Toronto/Ottawa?

Can they get "posted" (a job) in Toronto/Ottawa as easily as say a "software engineer", "professional project manager", etc...?
That is exactly the point. Fishermen typically would live in there village/town/city and sail to sea from there. A miner would live close to the mine where he works. The fact that military members get posted and move around so much is precisely one of the main arguments how military life is tougher on families because home is not home for long in many cases.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Geography defines a lot of careers. Not just the military.
Yes, and? We are speaking about a military member as stated above.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Discipline learned through the military, which is one of their best aspects of training in ANY role can be applied to any future goal. The one thing that the military is VERY good at is training in discipline. If one leverages this discipline learned through their military experience, a lot can be done.
Leveraging? Like what? A rock in the air, a la Yoda? No, you're right, discipline helps but there are definitely a lot of once strongly-disciplined vets out there having one helluva time coping with civilian life back in Canada.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Life today is stressful. Veterans affairs has services to deal with that just like employers have Employee Assistant Programs (EAP) to assist employees with stress.
Please Tayken, don't give me the "life is stressful" crap. Seriously. Don't compare stresses we face here in Canada to those our soldiers have faced in Afghanistan or other places.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
There are more "civilians" in Afghanistan dealing with day-to-day life working than military. Imagine their stress of day-to-day life trying to work there. They haven't been trained to "close with and destroy the enemy"... They don't even know who the "enemy" is... Imagine the stress they must feel trying to get the infrastructure back together? They get shot at, have bombs thrown at them and they have no training. Are they not brave?
Oh, so the civilians are having a tougher go in these hotspots than the soldiers? Have you ever worked with NGOs? I have on multiple occasions and let me tell you, for the most part they have it much, much better than the soldiers do. I speak in terms of living conditions, pay and exposure to risk. They don't get ordered to be put in harm's way. They actually have a say in the matter, lucky for them. And if they don't know who the enemy is, imagine us. I admire some of them, I was offered a job there myself and I feel there is a great need for them. There are definitely some brave civilians over there, you bet. A few got killed, and some brutally.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
It is not easy for anyone in any industry be they a "civilian", "private citizen", or in the "military". But, change often comes in life and the adaptability to change is in one's own control and to project blame on any employer one has chosen to on their own free will to work for isn't going to win you favor in a custody and access dispute.
The tone of your argument I found annoying Tayken, the lecturing about adaptability and control. The argument presented is not about projecting blame on any employer, it's about realizing there are a certain set of circumstances that exist in the poster's husbands job description that make his ability to deal with .

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
All citizens, be they military or "private" are seen equal under the Rules and Law that define custody and access.
No one here is saying the military is above the law. Any law. We are subjected to all civilian laws plus the Code of Service Discipline above and beyond. Again, your posturing here seems really out of place.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
The fact is I still don't see how the military is any different than examples of possible employment provided in my thread. The problems the "military" poses is not all that different than other employers in private industry that "citizens" regularly do.
I see that as your opinion and not as a fact, based on my presentation of evidence. While there are certainly some distinct trades as you have pointed out, the military lifestyle is known to be problematic for families, hence the degree to which the problem is being addressed by government and other players.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
The key element is that no person joining the military, mining engineering, fisheries, oil rig worker, et all was *forced* to do this work. Everyone has a choice and when you signed your employment contract you were informed of the facts of the terms of the contract.

The key element for me is actually the fact that the above noted characteristics of military life do have a stronger impact on family life than most job descriptions, not that "no person is forced to do this work". I strongly disagree with your analysis.


If you were conscripted and forced against your will to do any of these jobs against your will... My deepest sympathies.
Yes, it is a volunteer military we serve in. Your words appear obviously condescending, negative and petty I may add. I know you are capable of much more, some of your posts do demonstrate a higher level of expression.

I hope you might relate to some of the experiences our veterans, past and present, have gone through if you take a moment tomorrow to ponder on Canada's day to remember.

Lest We Forget.
Reply With Quote
  #64 (permalink)  
Old 11-11-2012, 04:02 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 84
wife#2 is on a distinguished road
Default

Thanks Baldclub for responding! Well said.
Reply With Quote
  #65 (permalink)  
Old 11-11-2012, 07:55 AM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,569
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
Haha! I am glad to hear you are proud of your job, Tayken my friend. I fail to understand the relevance of your question in bold above.
A justice will explain it to you at trial and why your evidence is irrelivant and why your lamenting about being in the military is weighed before the civil court the same way as the other professions on the balance of probabilities.

Remember, you are not appearing before a military court but, the superior court who will see your career just as that with the same weight to all the other citizens who appear before the court.

You won't be giving any special consideration due to the fact you are in the military.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
You said to me:

So I told you I was a proud member of the Canadian Forces, not at all in need to expose anything that puts the military and service in a bad light.
I hypothesize that you are going to attempt to argue that you should be given special consideration before the court for your employment choice. I am highly doubtful that it will change much on the balance of probabilities in a civil court matter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
Can't say I have met a mining engineer, with family or not. I'm aware that danger lurks in many other professions but that is not what my argument is about.
The difficulty is what is your argument?

Is it that you should be given special consideration / special order / sympathy from the Superior Court of Justice due to your personal decision prior to having children to join the military? That the custody and access of your children should be based on your "sacrifices" to join the military which you chose to do freely?

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
I know some civilians with jobs similar to mine go to some pretty remote places, have been in aircraft crashes, some adrenalin rush... I can only speak for myself though here, I have only first hand experience of losing seven buddies in combat, and being shot at myself.
What is the relevance though (which is my point in all this) to the Superior Court of Justice on determining custody and access of the children in question?

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
Mind you, getting shot at seems a much more pleasant experience than separation ... honestly.
Going out on a limb here but, you may be correct. In a conflict situation like that you have choices. You can retreat, you can leverage your skills and training to defend yourself. As an unrepresented litigant (or even represented) in any civil court matter you are required to respond, you can't retreat, and if you rely upon your military training it is to attack back possibly.

So, I can see why you would make a statement that family court feels worse than a military battle.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
I personally know the difficulties of being away from my family on a regular basis, and the stress it caused my spouse. It was incredibly tough for her and our baby while I was overseas.
But, you do not see why this will impact the custody and access under Rule 24 of the Children's Law Reform Act?

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
I disagree. The "military" relevance is as stated:

The military environment, however, presents additional challenges for families. Geographic isolation, postings, frequent time away, high-risk deployments, and unpredictability are unique aspects of military life that put stress on members and their families.
Put that into an affidavit and due come back to let everyone know how it worked out for you at Trial and how successful your argument was before the Superior Court of Justice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
Whether it is a 'uniqueness' that applies to other trades and professions, that is not really a concern to me in this argument as the poster related to her husband's difficulties as a 'military' member.
What we are discussing on this message board is family law which is part of the civil court of justice and I believe you are in the Superior Court from past postings.

What we are discussing is "relevance" to an argument before the court. What you are trying to establish is unique relevance to your current job (military) and that a public court (not military court) should make special consideration to your job and set jurisprudence for "military families".

Remember, that you are walking into the "Superior Court of Justice" not the "Superior Military Court of Justice" and that the judge you will be before probably has no military experience and is expected to weigh your "evidence" against jurisprudence in CanLII and your "evidence".

My position in this debate is that you have very little relevant evidence that a justice could set jurisprudence on a special circumstance that elements of the "best interests" test should be persuaded by your choice in career.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
That is exactly the point. Fishermen typically would live in there village/town/city and sail to sea from there.
They would also, depending on the type of fishing they do, go out for 2-3 week runs or even months during season. Which puts them into the EoW situation which you are defending against as well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
A miner would live close to the mine where he works.
Really? The only city for which is built upon a mine is the City of Sudbury, Ontario, Canada. It is the only city on this planet that has a mine shaft, smelter and other facilities in it. Furthermore, it is a limited market and the vast majority of Canadian mining engineers work in other countries and commute into sites on long rotations.

For example:

Raglan Mine - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
The fact that military members get posted and move around so much is precisely one of the main arguments how military life is tougher on families because home is not home for long in many cases.
No different than what a mining engineer experiences or other professionals who have to travel for work. Say a sales executive / sales person who sells a product internationally.

Continued...
Reply With Quote
  #66 (permalink)  
Old 11-11-2012, 07:55 AM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,569
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default Continued...

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
Yes, and? We are speaking about a military member as stated above.

Leveraging? Like what? A rock in the air, a la Yoda? No, you're right, discipline helps but there are definitely a lot of once strongly-disciplined vets out there having one helluva time coping with civilian life back in Canada.
Remember, that the other party may leverage your military experience, and your admission here against interest, that there are a lot of military "coping with civilian life" which includes raising children. I would not recommend putting this argument forward because it could impact a judicial decision on "best interests" as you would find yourself having to argue that you are not one of them who are struggling.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
Please Tayken, don't give me the "life is stressful" crap. Seriously. Don't compare stresses we face here in Canada to those our soldiers have faced in Afghanistan or other places.
Standard military argument (egocentric) given all the time. Furthermore, welcome to the civilian world (public) where opinions and perspectives matter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
Oh, so the civilians are having a tougher go in these hotspots than the soldiers? Have you ever worked with NGOs?
Everyone in a "hot spot" has equal opportunity to die. It is a basic element to the psychology.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
I have on multiple occasions and let me tell you, for the most part they have it much, much better than the soldiers do. I speak in terms of living conditions, pay and exposure to risk. They don't get ordered to be put in harm's way. They actually have a say in the matter, lucky for them.
They signed better employment contracts to be in the same place and work.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
And if they don't know who the enemy is, imagine us. I admire some of them, I was offered a job there myself and I feel there is a great need for them. There are definitely some brave civilians over there, you bet. A few got killed, and some brutally.
Yet, you argue that their contributions and death are not equal as to someone in the "military"? I am of a different opinion on the value of "life". All people are equally important and any death is equally weighed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
The tone of your argument I found annoying Tayken, the lecturing about adaptability and control.
Curious, is the responding material from the other party sighting you as a "controlling" person at all?

It is unfortunate that you are expressing emotional distaste ("annoyance") for the argument being presented. Hopefully you do not cross examine and represent yourself before the court with a similar style of speech and is limited to "venting" on this message board. I can tell you that should you raise a comment like this about opposing counsel it won't bold well for you in the Superior Court of Justice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
The argument presented is not about projecting blame on any employer, it's about realizing there are a certain set of circumstances that exist in the poster's husbands job description that make his ability to deal with.
And there are multiple solutions to the posters problem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
No one here is saying the military is above the law. Any law. We are subjected to all civilian laws plus the Code of Service Discipline above and beyond. Again, your posturing here seems really out of place.
How is my posting "out of place". You are presenting an argument that military service should be considered by everyone, in contravention to your above statement, that it should be given some different and "special" weighting in family law. I am debating counter to your argument.

What really is out of place is how a message originally started to assist people on what defines urgency before the Family Court is a debate about the "military" and if it should be given special consideration by anyone in a family law matter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
I see that as your opinion and not as a fact, based on my presentation of evidence.
How? What supports your statement of "fact"? I respond on a paragraph by paragraph basis. Demonstrate your "fact" and how it is not based on "my (your) presentation of evidence."

The only evidence presented is your text to this forum and I respond to each paragraph.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
While there are certainly some distinct trades as you have pointed out, the military lifestyle is known to be problematic for families, hence the degree to which the problem is being addressed by government and other players.
The question posed continually is that how does the challenge facing the military make it unique and that it should be given special consideration by the family court?

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
Yes, it is a volunteer military we serve in. Your words appear obviously condescending, negative and petty I may add. I know you are capable of much more, some of your posts do demonstrate a higher level of expression.
How are they condescending? Provide the examples and I will address every concern you have and provide more insight. It is easy to jump to a conclusion and make a blanket statement like this to attack someone's character like this. Difficult to demonstrate it with cogent and relevant evidence, especially when none exists to do so.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
I hope you might relate to some of the experiences our veterans, past and present, have gone through if you take a moment tomorrow to ponder on Canada's day to remember.

Lest We Forget.
I have all the deepest sympathies to the families of those who have served in the military and have lost loved ones. In fact, in my career, I make significant legislative and other changes in our medical system to insure that they get the support and help they need.

Good Luck!
Tayken
Reply With Quote
  #67 (permalink)  
Old 11-11-2012, 07:56 AM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,569
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by wife#2 View Post
Thanks Baldclub for responding! Well said.
What in particular was "well said"? Just curious, as you have chosen to provide a blanket opinion without any contribution to the discussion.
Reply With Quote
  #68 (permalink)  
Old 11-11-2012, 08:16 AM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,569
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Some observations to comments made and analysis with supporting clinical evidence.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
Haha! I am glad to hear you are proud of your job, Tayken my friend. I fail to understand the relevance of your question in bold above.
I have highlighted for everyone in red the attempt to create an emotional reaction by "laughing". This is a common pattern of behaviour for which often highly conflict people attempt to use to generate an emotional response in an argument.

Those who are not trained in identifying conflict patters of speech and writing are often triggered by personal attacks like this. It is a common pattern of behavior deployed by negative advocate solicitors against unrepresented litigants. For the most part in my honest opinion, based on my personal observations of oral arguments before the SCJ it is quite a successful technique to demonstrate the other party (unrepresented) as overly emotional and gain attention to their arguments no matter how irrelevant they are.

Furthermore, one of the defense mechanisms of the highly conflicted is to attempt to "befriend" the other person counter to their argument. Not sure for what grounds the person in question would considering me a "friend". Or is the poster in question attempting to use similar terminology that barristers use before the court under professional courtesy?

For those who have spouses and opposing counsel that try to state that the argument you are presenting is "laughable" take note. In the materials presented by experts such as Mr. William Eddy these are key elements for which these experts track in responding arguments before the court. They collect them up and then present them back as counter evidence to the person in question (and often negative advocate solicitors) attempts to generate conflict where no conflict should exist.

Hopefully this link to the pages from Google Books works as it brings you right to what I am talking about with regards to Mr. Eddy. BPD Central used to have an excellent article which was the excerpt from "Splitting" on the topic I am discussing but, it no longer exists:

http://books.google.ca/books?id=vy7b...page&q&f=false

Quote:
In light of the above, perhaps laughter could be most properly considered as a weapon against suffering and despair. If we can joke about a disappointing or traumatic event, we'll often find ourselves feeling that what's happened to us isn't so bad and that we'll be able to get through it. This expectation serves two vitally important functions:
1. It diminishes or even eliminates the moment-by-moment suffering we might otherwise experience as a result of a traumatic loss, which

2. Actually makes it more likely we will make it through a trauma unmarred and flourish once again
A key question about laughter remains, however: does it create the expectation that we'll be all right, or become possible only because we've found our way to a belief that things aren't as bad as they seem?
Furthermore:

Quote:
When faced with adversity, some people exhibit a great ability for turning to laughter as a soothing balm, while others remain less able to do so. While this may be a result of differences in upbringing or genetics, I often wonder if it's equally as much a matter of intent. Perhaps many of us simply don't think to try to laugh, either because we're too overwhelmed by suffering or because we think laughter in the face of suffering is inappropriate.
Why We Laugh | Psychology Today

Note the impact "laughter" has on a structured and logical thinker.

Good Luck!
Tayken

Last edited by Tayken; 11-11-2012 at 08:28 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #69 (permalink)  
Old 11-11-2012, 08:23 AM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,569
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Dear Moderators,

Could you please partition off the portion of this message thread into a different posting. The reason I ask is that "emergency" (urgent) motions are a very important topic in Family Law and the purpose of this sticky as originally posted was to provide jurisprudence (case law) on what constitutes an emergency.

A debate about if "military" service should be weighted different to any other career before the Family Court (either OCJ or SCJ) really isn't "urgent" or fit the original intent of the original posting.

Thank-you,
Tayken
Reply With Quote
  #70 (permalink)  
Old 11-11-2012, 08:50 AM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,569
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
I am proud of my job too. Does what I do make me less of a person than you? I am proud that I pay taxes that can be used to insure that this country can have an armed forces to protect our nation.
Haha! I am glad to hear you are proud of your job, Tayken my friend. I fail to understand the relevance of your question in bold above.
Per your request here is the relevance to the question:

It is a standard question that you would hear from a mental health worker when attempting to solicit information (evidence) to a personal "belief". One needs to establish how the person in question differentiates themselves from the rest of society.

Often, questions like this are injected into theraputic questioning to determine how the person in question sees themselves within the larger context of society.

So the question is posed in similar manners to see how the person differentiates themselves from the rest of society. Responses vary and the weight given at a therapeutic level would bring forward additional questions about how the persons "special" position, job, education etc... truly differentiates them.

Questions like this are used to scale and weigh "egocentricity" of the person in question. Is their belief that they are "special" (different, gifted, etc...) truly a special ability/position.

Your response, to question the question is an interesting one for sure. The question still stands though.

To pose it with more details:

Do you feel that your position in the military makes you a unique member of society and in particular different than other litigants before the Family Court?

Do you think/feel/believe that it should give you an advantage or disadvantages you? How does this advantage or disadvantage differ from others in society? Should the court weigh differently than other members of society than those who have volunteered for military employment before the family court?

Good Luck!
Tayken
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Motion to Vary - Applicant's affidavit dickstacie Divorce & Family Law 4 02-17-2010 04:26 PM
Lawyer calls for judicial inquiry into disfunctional family court system! logicalvelocity Political Issues 9 07-19-2009 10:41 PM
Legal Aid serrona Divorce & Family Law 1 10-27-2006 08:00 PM
Can I send this letter to the court dvr Divorce & Family Law 1 08-01-2006 11:28 AM
How credibility is affected in the eyes of Judges. gooddadgoingmad Divorce & Family Law 12 03-12-2006 04:05 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:07 AM.