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  #41 (permalink)  
Old 10-25-2012, 10:16 AM
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Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
I believe unevenplayingground's partner is military, in which case it is highly probable that he was posted, against his will, to a position elsewhere because the Canadian Forces has a need for him there.
He can't leave the service and seek employment in the public sector? I do respect those who *choose* military service but, it is ultimately a choice one makes and has to live with.
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Old 10-25-2012, 10:32 AM
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Of course he can...if he's lucky. What if you are an infantry soldier? Not a lot of parallel trades in the civilian world. Police officer is similar somewhat, but you need to be extremely lucky to find a job and one close to where your children are. Also we're constrained by contracts, I'm not allowed to leave the military for another year and a half for example, due to the tax payers' investment in my training.
Just saying, military life can take its toll on families in different ways. Personally, I think my own marital problems started after I left the military the first time, leading us to financial difficulties. Sorry OP (original poster), don't want to hijack your thread.
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  #43 (permalink)  
Old 10-25-2012, 11:30 AM
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Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
Of course he can...if he's lucky. What if you are an infantry soldier? Not a lot of parallel trades in the civilian world. Police officer is similar somewhat, but you need to be extremely lucky to find a job and one close to where your children are. Also we're constrained by contracts, I'm not allowed to leave the military for another year and a half for example, due to the tax payers' investment in my training.
Just saying, military life can take its toll on families in different ways. Personally, I think my own marital problems started after I left the military the first time, leading us to financial difficulties. Sorry OP (original poster), don't want to hijack your thread.
Unfortunately, the area his son lives, the only type of job he is trained for, he was doing. So no matter what he would have to move for work. And the type of job he does in the military doesn't open a lot of doors to employment after military life.
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  #44 (permalink)  
Old 10-25-2012, 11:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
He can't leave the service and seek employment in the public sector? I do respect those who *choose* military service but, it is ultimately a choice one makes and has to live with.
Tayken, i'm kind of surprised with this response from you. I don't mean this to in a disrespectful way, but it is a very black and white response from you. If it had of been that easy, we would have done it, but we are both military, we both would have had to quit our jobs. My husband had been in one location for over 13 years, that is actually pretty darn good for the military. You would normally have to move every 5-7 years, and his ex knew he was military when they met.

When you have 5 children, you absolutely have to provide for all of them. We are scraping by on good incomes. Suggesting that two people just up and quit their jobs (which would have taken at least 6 months to be released from the military) seems to me, to be very irresponsible. I really think a judge would think the same thing. I don't think it is as simple as saying it was a "choice", it was necessity. We would not have been eligible for EI or even welfare, if we had made the "choice" to just irresponsibly quit our jobs.
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Old 10-25-2012, 12:04 PM
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Of course he can...if he's lucky. What if you are an infantry soldier? Not a lot of parallel trades in the civilian world.
Something that employee ("infantry soldier") should be addressing in their career. Same impact someone in a "buggy whip" industry should be considering. Like all the printing press operators who were laid off when the internet hit and published materials declined.

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Also we're constrained by contracts, I'm not allowed to leave the military for another year and a half for example, due to the tax payers' investment in my training.
Many private industry and other public working individuals have the same commitments. What about a manager whom agrees to complete an MBA and if they leave the company they have to pay back a portion of the education?

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Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
Just saying, military life can take its toll on families in different ways.
That is *life* not just "military life". Nothing you have described is "unique" to being in the military.

On average today in 2012 and going forward people often have to change careers. The "magical" world of one-job-one-career-for-life hasn't existing in society for quite some time now. Everyone should be working towards being able to adapt to change. Versus project blame that they can't change (careers, employment, update skills, etc...). Every human has the capability to "change".
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  #46 (permalink)  
Old 10-25-2012, 12:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
Tayken, i'm kind of surprised with this response from you. I don't mean this to in a disrespectful way, but it is a very black and white response from you.
How so. It is very easy to claim something is "black and white" but, much more difficult to "demonstrate" that it is. If it is truly "black and white" thinking then it is easy to state:

You stated "white" - supported by fact (i.e. a quote from the person).
Then you stated "black" - supported by fact (i.e. a quote from the person).

But, the counter argument is a human factor of "change". Opinions change.

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Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
If it had of been that easy, we would have done it, but we are both military, we both would have had to quit our jobs.
No one ever said life is easy.

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Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
My husband had been in one location for over 13 years, that is actually pretty darn good for the military.
Also far beyond the employment statistics for people working in other industries (private and public). Most people's employment is on a 7 year cycle.

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Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
You would normally have to move every 5-7 years, and his ex knew he was military when they met.
So, after divorce the children should be subject to one parent's career choice and impact on their "best interests". I am of the opinion that a parent's choices should reflect the children's best interests.

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Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
When you have 5 children, you absolutely have to provide for all of them. We are scraping by on good incomes. Suggesting that two people just up and quit their jobs (which would have taken at least 6 months to be released from the military) seems to me, to be very irresponsible.
It would be irresponsible and you are jumping to conclusions about what I was stating. But, being a parent one should be planning a sustainable career and planning to be able to provide for their children.

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Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
I really think a judge would think the same thing. I don't think it is as simple as saying it was a "choice", it was necessity. We would not have been eligible for EI or even welfare, if we had made the "choice" to just irresponsibly quit our jobs.
If you have chosen a career path that is "buggy whip" or limited on market avalibility then, you adapt, change, educate yourself in another field and move to a better opportunity. Complaining and lamenting that you cannot because you are in the military really isn't going to solve the problem.
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  #47 (permalink)  
Old 10-25-2012, 12:15 PM
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I really think a judge would think the same thing.
Based on your past postings, in an admission against interest, a judge has possibly provided their "thoughts" driving a FINAL order in your matter and in contravention of your own statements, for the child in question to primarily reside in their habitual residential jurisdiction, which is not where the child in question's parent (your husband?) resides, with the other parent.

I could be wrong though. Lots of content on this site and limited time to verify.
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  #48 (permalink)  
Old 10-25-2012, 12:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Based on your past postings, in an admission against interest, a judge has possibly provided their "thoughts" driving a FINAL order in your matter and in contravention of your own statements, for the child in question to primarily reside in their habitual residential jurisdiction, which is not where the child in question's parent (your husband?) resides, with the other parent.

I could be wrong though. Lots of content on this site and limited time to verify.
My previous posts I stated the judge didn't make the decision. There are so many other elements that cannot be conveyed through limited responses.
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Old 10-25-2012, 01:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
My previous posts I stated the judge didn't make the decision. There are so many other elements that cannot be conveyed through limited responses.
Correct me if I am wrong but, your husband acquiesced on CONSENT to a FINAL order at a conference (case, settlement and/or trial) to the OCL's recommendations and did not challenge the recommendations?
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  #50 (permalink)  
Old 10-25-2012, 01:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
How so. It is very easy to claim something is "black and white" but, much more difficult to "demonstrate" that it is. If it is truly "black and white" thinking then it is easy to state:

You stated "white" - supported by fact (i.e. a quote from the person).
Then you stated "black" - supported by fact (i.e. a quote from the person).

But, the counter argument is a human factor of "change". Opinions change.

It isn't simple, it isn't easy but having a steady income (when the biological mother can't hold down a job) so the child can have his basic needs met, is in the child's best interest. There are also 4 other children that need a roof over their head and food in their belly. Basic needs start there.


No one ever said life is easy.


Also far beyond the employment statistics for people working in other industries (private and public). Most people's employment is on a 7 year cycle.
Yes, and with this employment "instability" comes a lot of other down sides. My husband would also make no where near what he is making in the military. The mother has yet to hold a job down, (longest job 1 year 2 months, and that was a good stretch for her). So should my husband go to school and retrain, is that the suggestion here? If so, in the meantime, I take a lower paying job (with little stability) to support 5 children, 2 adults?


So, after divorce the children should be subject to one parent's career choice and impact on their "best interests". I am of the opinion that a parent's choices should reflect the children's best interests.

I don't see how holding down a full time stable job is not in the best interests of the child? I feel it is in the best interests to have a steady income. If every parent only accepted jobs that were in the "best interests" of the child, there would be a lot of unemployed parents out there.



It would be irresponsible and you are jumping to conclusions about what I was stating. But, being a parent one should be planning a sustainable career and planning to be able to provide for their children.

This is what he is doing.


If you have chosen a career path that is "buggy whip" or limited on market avalibility then, you adapt, change, educate yourself in another field and move to a better opportunity. Complaining and lamenting that you cannot because you are in the military really isn't going to solve the problem.
Agreed, if it does not create a greater hardship for the family.

What you are saying is black and white because you are saying that if my husband's best interests were for his child, he would have quit his job and just got a new one. Simple as that, but it isn't that simple.



In one breathe you are saying it would be in the child's best interest to quit your job, and in the next you are saying I am jumping to conclusions (even though that is what you wrote). I find this confusing.

You are arguing, when you do not have a full understanding of the military, that we should just quit our jobs for the best interests of the child.

Of course when we were posted we had 5 children to consider. So the decision to not quit our jobs was based on all of our circumstances, with consideration to our children. We needed to financially support 5 children, we have stability, we have TWO medical/dental plans (something the biological mother has only ever provided for herself), so the child's best interests were put first, actually all of them.
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