Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #21 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2009, 01:36 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 69
helplessDad is on a distinguished road
Default

I also have a very aggressive wife (still not "EX" yet). I totally understand where you are coming from. my wife's family is destroying us as well.

every time I get hit, bitten, or kicked, I take pictures of the bruises on my body. so if she accuses me of being abusive, I can at least prove I was the one who was being abused.
Reply With Quote
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2009, 01:42 PM
canniiee's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 71
canniiee is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by helplessDad View Post
I also have a very aggressive wife (still not "EX" yet). I totally understand where you are coming from. my wife's family is destroying us as well.

every time I get hit, bitten, or kicked, I take pictures of the bruises on my body. so if she accuses me of being abusive, I can at least prove I was the one who was being abused.
I would highly suggest that you take pictures and file police reports as these things happen, you should also end your relationship, its not healthy one bit. My ex, as much as he is a good Dad to my kids, was controlling and very negative towards me, and now I am in a healthy and happy relationship and I can't even express just how amazing it is.
Reply With Quote
  #23 (permalink)  
Old 10-21-2009, 12:07 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 285
singledad99 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by canniiee View Post
I would highly suggest that you take pictures and file police reports as these things happen, you should also end your relationship, its not healthy one bit. My ex, as much as he is a good Dad to my kids, was controlling and very negative towards me, and now I am in a healthy and happy relationship and I can't even express just how amazing it is.
I second that. Most victims(men or women) believe that the abuse is actually their fault or that the abusive person will change. If police is not solution to your problem then insist that she gets some help. If she refuses to do that, she is not the one for you - you deserve better!
Reply With Quote
  #24 (permalink)  
Old 10-21-2009, 11:34 PM
dadtotheend's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,644
dadtotheend will become famous soon enoughdadtotheend will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by representingself View Post
Ignorant??? HA!

It is NEVER ok to hit a woman...

If she was attacking you, you walk away, or call the police.

It is not ok that you suffered abuse either, but that doesn't excuse "hitting her back".

Easy for you to say. I got hit too, the shit kicked out of me a FEW times and I'm 6' 2" 230 lbs. And after getting slapped around a few dozen times, a little self defence is not unreasonable.

Please don't try that crap about it's never OK. You have no idea. Too bad it gets totally twisted into abuse when the reality was that I (and the guy who started this thread) was getting abused.

There's no question that the vast majority of domestic violence is perpetrated by men.

But NEVER say never.

Last edited by dadtotheend; 10-21-2009 at 11:44 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #25 (permalink)  
Old 10-21-2009, 11:40 PM
dadtotheend's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,644
dadtotheend will become famous soon enoughdadtotheend will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Edward View Post
She is one of those people who would fight you now and 5 minutes later like nothing happened.
Check out the second paragraph of this page, specfically:

``Does he or she do things that to you seem beyond comprehension; and then carry on as if those actions made no difference?``

Sociopath - Richard Skerritt Books - Dalkeith Press

A light went on for me when I read it 2 years ago.
Reply With Quote
  #26 (permalink)  
Old 10-21-2009, 11:45 PM
dadtotheend's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,644
dadtotheend will become famous soon enoughdadtotheend will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by helplessDad View Post
every time I get hit, bitten, or kicked, I take pictures of the bruises on my body. so if she accuses me of being abusive, I can at least prove I was the one who was being abused.
Those pics will prove that you were injured, not necessarily by her.
Reply With Quote
  #27 (permalink)  
Old 10-21-2009, 11:53 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Vaughan
Posts: 2,369
billiechic is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dadtotheend View Post
There's no question that the vast majority of domestic violence is perpetrated by men.

But NEVER say never.
I disagree. I think that women probably commit domestic violence a LOT more than we know. They do it differently, as it is harder for most women to physically intimidate their partners. Women abusers are emotional and mental batterers, much harder to detect. She can be very demeaning, critical and is probably crushing any self-respect he has. Men are expected to just "stand there and take it", when really they are being abused.

At least there are resources out there for women who are being abused. There are practically no services for men, and I can only imagine how small one must feel to have to admit that his wife is abusing him. It is nothing to be ashamed of, but society does not take these people seriously. A sad fact for sure.
Reply With Quote
  #28 (permalink)  
Old 10-22-2009, 12:04 AM
dadtotheend's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,644
dadtotheend will become famous soon enoughdadtotheend will become famous soon enough
Default

Agreed,

I was referring to physical domestic abuse.

But you`re right.
Reply With Quote
  #29 (permalink)  
Old 10-22-2009, 12:11 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Ontario
Posts: 992
representingself is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dadtotheend View Post
Easy for you to say. I got hit too, the shit kicked out of me a FEW times and I'm 6' 2" 230 lbs. And after getting slapped around a few dozen times, a little self defence is not unreasonable.

Please don't try that crap about it's never OK. You have no idea. Too bad it gets totally twisted into abuse when the reality was that I (and the guy who started this thread) was getting abused.

There's no question that the vast majority of domestic violence is perpetrated by men.

But NEVER say never.
Listen buddy..... I already apologized to Edward for my rash response to his post....

I am a 5'2 120 pound woman who has had the chit kicked out of me what feels like hundreds of times by one of my ex boyfriends... I have had teeth replaced and was thrown down a flight of stairs...so don't you dare tell ME that I have no idea.

It is NEVER ok to hit anyone and especially WRONG for a physically stronger, larger person to hit a smaller, weaker person!!

A 6'2'', 230 pound man (as you are) can easily restrain or remove himself from physical abuse by a woman... unless she was at least 6'2'' and 230 pounds as well!!

There is NO self defense there...

Hitting a woman is paramount to a pitbull fighting a Chihuahua!
Reply With Quote
  #30 (permalink)  
Old 10-22-2009, 01:24 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 69
helplessDad is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dadtotheend View Post
Those pics will prove that you were injured, not necessarily by her.
you may have a good point there.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Children's bennefits Wiser2008 Financial Issues 20 01-02-2014 12:19 PM
need info on getting temporary custody order sloane Divorce & Family Law 11 07-03-2010 12:49 AM
new here & need advice Please??? momofnl Divorce & Family Law 4 03-25-2007 03:36 PM
bigamy? lost in relation Divorce & Family Law 1 10-22-2006 10:45 AM
How to proceed CatvsLion Divorce & Family Law 9 04-25-2006 11:10 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:47 PM.