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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 06-06-2006, 04:52 PM
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Default What the Canadian law do with Violence against Men

I have been abused from my wife since we got married, then I discovered that my marriage was objective marriage in favour of getting her Sponsorship papers to immigrant to Canada, then we have two kids in my country but they got the citizenship from me (as I am Canadian), Now she turn the table over and she lied that I was abusing her even there is no evidence of abuse in Canada or in Egypt although there is two wittiness in Canada have seen my wife abusing me a lot and also the kids as well

I do not know what to do with this women who getting full support from the Canadian women community, and I am able to know where she is living in London, Ontario, I am in business mission out side Canada

I wish to hear my kids, I have not heard their voices for seven months up till now

Please advise me what to do to get my kids or at least talk to them

thanks,
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Old 06-07-2006, 12:19 AM
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Hi georgey and welcome. Sorry to hear about your situation. I know that it is really hard for anyone to admit that they've been a victim of domestic violence, and even harder for a man to admit this.

Its hard to give advice without knowing a lot more about your situation, but some of my thoughts are as follows:

* How long are you out of the country for? The reason that your ex may have primary residence or custody of the children may be greatly influenced by the fact that she is able to stay in the same home that the children grew up in while you've got to travel abroad for many months at a time.

* Telephone access. I'm not sure how old your children are, but at the very least, you should be able to get a court order for telephone access. Even if there are concerns about your wife giving out her number to you, her number can be blocked and the children can call you at specified times. There's also emails and online video conferencing available.

* Abuse of the children by your ex. This is even more serious! If you've got 2 witnesses to this, I'd at least call the Children's Aid Society (CAS) and have them investigate and have them speak with the witnesses as to what they saw.

As for a long-term plan, I think you're going to need a lawyer, in part because of the distance you live and in part because of the complexity of both dis-proving that you've abused your wife and also that she has abused you and the children.
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Old 07-04-2006, 07:31 PM
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Hello

I too have been physically attacked by my spouse. I once called the Niagara Regional Police and asked them what they do in situations where the woman hits the man ( in this intance it was while I was in bed asleep ). The answer was "When we stop laughing we would come out to take your statement". Needless to say, I was appalled. Jeff noted above that it is difficult for men to come forward and admit that their wives had phyically abused them. It is police officers such as this that demean your manhood that make it even harder.
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Old 07-05-2006, 12:32 AM
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Barry Allen,

The police should of interviewed you and made a report at the very least of the incident.

lv
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Old 12-15-2006, 03:13 PM
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I am a man who was attacked twice by my ex, since we separated. The first time it was when I arrived at her home to pick up my little boy for the day. I went to the police right away and filed a report. The second time I had to hold her arms down to her body to keep her from punching me. She then told the police that I assaulted her. Police, thankfully, did not believe a word out of her mouth. However, they did tell me to protect myself and try to get a peace bond against her. They told me that they have seen many, many men baited and wrongfully accused of this, when it was the woman who began the attack. They said that as soon as men try to defend themselves, woman cry wolf.

When I filed my peace bond, she retailiated by filing one against me. She showed up in court with pictures of bruises on her arms...of course from me having to hold her arms to stop her from beating on me. Her sister then told me that ex would drop her application if I dropped mine. Ha! My lawyer said that it was risky and that the judge might fall for it, even though common sense would tell the true story. I agreed to drop the application because I was afraid that the judge would fall for what she was saying. She then dropped hers too....but to this very day I refuse to be in her presence because I know as soon as she gets the chance, she will do it again.

Imagine if the roles were reversed? I can guarantee that if I had done what she did, I would have been locked up. Instead she got away with it on both occasions and I learned that I cannot defend myself...it's too risky.

Serrona
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