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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 10-22-2014, 05:47 PM
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janibel, ive read some of your stuff. im trying to find out what can be done here on this board for those that are dealing with domestic abuse vs divorce. ive tried to start a group for such members but do not know how to get it active or if a moderator is needed to activate it. youre right, dv is genderless. divorce can and will likely make it worse for those victims. liars are identifiable. i volunteer at shelters whenever im in town to just listen. its quite profound how some will abuse the system to get a leg up in family law. its becoming easier for men to do this while women have been doing it for a long time. either way, it boils down to finance and survival against the law. dv exists and its becoming far too difficult for any party to prove it in court. this group if i can be successful starting up might help true victims who also face court.
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Old 10-22-2014, 05:50 PM
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What can be done here is you can make a post with information and links to information on where to go to get support in those types of stuations. That's what this forum is for.
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Old 10-22-2014, 08:00 PM
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hi blinkandimgone, i tried to respond to your private message but it doesnt seem to have gone through. im out of town and my connection is a bit jumpy.

i guess its hard to suggest links to a number of people in different provinces which is why a group on this board with volunteers to manage it would be useful. sometimes victims of dv facing divorce with that added hurdle could have a safe place to go to that is safe. is this possible on this board? please advise or direct me to someone who can.

how can this happen? who do i ask for the privilege?
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Old 10-22-2014, 08:06 PM
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You would send a message to Jeff, our administrator.

However, as there are numerous websites that specifically deal with domestic abuse and how to obtain assistance, I don't think that we should be attempting to focus on that issue as well - as the purpose of this board is for the discussion of legal aspects surrounding divorce in Ontario.
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Old 10-22-2014, 08:15 PM
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hi mcdreamy,
perhaps not the purpose of this site but it could be provided in a secure and safer setting for those that have no other recourse in their moment. i am more than happy to post numbers and links provincially but sometimes it takes too long for some victims to get to their counseling sessions to be advised (and counseling sessions based on a moment to provide such numbers could put many at risk while they are dealing with family law). no perhaps not the premise of this board but ive read a few ridiculed out of here who show to me clear signs of dv without support. a private group might suffice to get some of their answers met. with volunteers on board to direct them to those numbers and links it might enhance the board.
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Old 10-22-2014, 08:21 PM
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This thread is getting way off track from it's original purpose. WEC, I have moved your posts to a new thread dedicated to your topic. Thanks.
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Old 10-22-2014, 08:50 PM
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Domestic violence counselling (or any other kind of trauma intervention) absolutely should not be attempted by anonymous strangers on the internet. You are dealing with volatile material and emotionally vulnerable individuals. People who are dealing with the aftermath of domestic violence need the support of those who are close to them, and/or those who are trained in counselling and therapeutic support.

Every domestic violence or assault centre I've ever heard of has extremely rigourous protocols for screening and training volunteers, and those just aren't possible in an anonymous online forum. I understand the OP is trying to be helpful, but I don't think this is a good idea.
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Old 10-22-2014, 08:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WEC View Post
hi mcdreamy,
perhaps not the purpose of this site but it could be provided in a secure and safer setting for those that have no other recourse in their moment. i am more than happy to post numbers and links provincially but sometimes it takes too long for some victims to get to their counseling sessions to be advised (and counseling sessions based on a moment to provide such numbers could put many at risk while they are dealing with family law). no perhaps not the premise of this board but ive read a few ridiculed out of here who show to me clear signs of dv without support. a private group might suffice to get some of their answers met. with volunteers on board to direct them to those numbers and links it might enhance the board.
Again, this board's purpose is to discuss the legal aspects of divorce in Ontario.

DV is one of its many many aspects and I support Janibel's bumping of resource numbers and sites for those who venture here. As a former victim of DV, I can certainly understand that some victims might not yet know there is readily accessible information for them online, my mother certainly did not have required assistance. But at this moment, ODF is not a victim resource facility nor would I support moving that way.

FWIW if you are interested in spearheading a DV board, I can pm you the details on how to create your own board, monitor, manage and promote same; I've done so in the past with other interests of mine.

You will need to speak with Jeff if you have any further interest in moving forward with this concept, this is now his bailiwick.
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Old 10-22-2014, 09:02 PM
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Every Canadian province,town, city, hamlet or hobbit-cave has a domestic violence shelter where men/women can go to for help. I have posted those related to Ontario in the domestic violence tread ... If you wish to personally do more, I suggest that you contact your local shelter and ask them how you can help out. They will gladly accept donations of your time, clothes, non perishable foods, children's toys and ca$h.
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Old 11-04-2014, 02:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janibel View Post
Every Canadian province,town, city, hamlet or hobbit-cave has a domestic violence shelter where men/women can go to for help. I have posted those related to Ontario in the domestic violence tread ... If you wish to personally do more, I suggest that you contact your local shelter and ask them how you can help out. They will gladly accept donations of your time, clothes, non perishable foods, children's toys and ca$h.


any men/father's reading this open the phone book and call them ( if the ad say's women shelter ask them why you cant seek refuge ) , tell them your 'on the run from abuse with children ' and see when you can move in.

you may find like I did no male's allowed ...

what a sh1t post - in Canada there are +1000 shelters for women none for men , in 2007 I fled with children and calling government and private agencies I ended up sleeping in tent with children, it was july, so Sept to May no shelter for fathers! unless you own a tent ? - if children services knows then foster homes while mom is rehab'd

Last edited by pokeman; 11-04-2014 at 02:50 AM. Reason: cause its not for fathers cause they cant be abused?
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