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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 04-08-2013, 09:54 PM
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My two sense here, both from a technical standpoint as well from a humorous one.
First, record the message (you already stated you have) but usually there is a button you can press that then gives a date and time for the call.
So go and record it again in the following procedure.
Get to message, when it starts quickly press button stating date/time stamp. Then it should return to the message and finish playing the message, at the end pause and press the date/time stamp again.
This new audio has everything that needs to be in place to get the recording into court. it has it's date/time as well as the full message in it's entirety.
It my also even give you the number from which the caller called from, further proving it was her.

Use it to argue joint custody, on the grounds that mom did this while she had your 4 year old daughter. that is could have been done in front of your daughter. And that Joint custody sholuld be awarded as this message clearly in mom's own words describes what she thinks of you and what she would do to you if she could, as such it's reasonable that she would be portraying a negative message to the child about you.
Lastly she know she was being recorded.

Now for the fun part.
1. send her a polite message detailing the correct use of the word "B!!TCH" and correct her that since you were the donor of the sperm that made the child it's impossible for you to take on that role. Then delete the message.

2. a co-worker of mine used this one in a union environment quite well. He would go up to one of his bosses and say "I'd like to tell you, fill in the blank, blank, blank, but I can't so I won't" There were days where he would use this tactic almost everyday.

Anyhow just my two sense.
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Old 04-08-2013, 11:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by involveddad75 View Post
...
First, record the message (you already stated you have) but usually there is a button you can press that then gives a date and time for the call.
So go and record it again in the following procedure...
...
Use it to argue joint custody, on the grounds that mom did this while she had your 4 year old daughter. that is could have been done in front of your daughter...
...
Lastly she know she was being recorded.
My voicemail service is a little lacking but it does have option to play timestamp and number that called after message plays so I really-recorded the played message with that.

We already have joint custody which seems to be the problem...for her.

Your other ideas is amusing. Lol.
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Old 04-08-2013, 11:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oink View Post
As opposed to? Please don't tell me the old stereotype of eating donoughts still applies?
Police officers have to go into highly emotional situations without knowing if there are weapons. I believe police are trained to handle these matters and are a good resource when things get out of hand or if someone feels threatened by another. I think it's good for children to know the police are there for them when there is danger. Same goes for children's exposure to firemen.

Cops should get free doughnuts and coffee.
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Old 04-09-2013, 09:00 AM
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OhMy: I don't know what the nature of your text msgs are but not answering them at all and following it up w/an email stating "dear ex, I rec'd "15" text msgs from you on (insert date). I am requesting that this harrassment stop and if there is anything relevant to address concerning the kids, kindly send me an email with your concerns. Thank you"

Then don't answer his texts at all. If he keeps it up and sends a bunch of angry emails, don't answer those and go file a report. It's when you "answer" that it's considered you engaged in the back and forth debate. One can't say another is harassing them if the person rec'g the communication engages.

Unless/until he sends you a *calmly worded and child focused* email re: something to do with the kids, don't reply. He will have been put on notice with your original request about not texting you. If he chooses to ignore that very reasonable request, then there are consequences.

Last edited by hadenough; 04-09-2013 at 09:03 AM.
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Old 04-10-2013, 10:20 PM
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Even though I have not contacted my stbx in any way since separating from him almost 18 months ago, I received a threatening message from him in the mail 6 weeks ago. Yes, in his handwriting, in the mail.

I immediately made 2 copies, with a brief message to my lawyer, went to the police station with one and dropped off the other at the lawyer's office. The police sent over an officer who interviewed me. They took the note very seriously and informed him that if he ever does that again, he could be arrested.

It was good to have the police officers' understanding and co-operation. So much for the stbx's good reputation and fake Good guy persona he wore for so long. For a very long time he has spoken harshly against the police and I never really found out why. His vitriol against the police used to anger me, as I have only respect for the police. I also let the officer know about stbx's dislike of him and his peers. That went over well with him I'm sure. He said that he would include this information in the file about the stbx.
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Old 04-10-2013, 10:43 PM
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Good for you Caranna: that you let them know what a prick he is and filed a report. *2 thumbs up*
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Old 04-11-2013, 03:37 PM
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Good for you Caranna. No one should have to put up with that.
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Old 04-11-2013, 04:57 PM
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Hadenough and Downtrodden Dad: Thank you for the much-needed support. As we're now in litigation I will comment at a later date on the situation.

Suffice to say that the stbx will forever regret writing that letter. As of this afternoon, someone from VQRP indicated great interest in reading it.
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Old 04-14-2013, 04:27 PM
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Just wanted to add one more post...the lady from VQRP came to my house to take basic information. She didn't even care to read his letter, and indicated that I was approved right on the spot.

I found that quite amazing, the faith she had in me. Anyway, although $1,000 isn't much, it will pay for about 6 sessions with a qualified PTSD and trauma counsellor. Not enough, but it will be a start. I am running short on available funds, don't want to take any more out of my RRSP.
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