Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 04-08-2013, 04:45 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,769
dad2bandm is on a distinguished road
Default Voicemail(s), that threaten to send other parent to jail?

Is this considered a threat?

This came up again, in another thread I have,
http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...ekeeper-14375/

The other parent is frustrated I guess, because I circumvented her tactics to deny providing D4's info to me (we have joint custody of D4).

As she is prone to do, she left me a voice-mail (I don't answer), telling me she's going to make sure she does everything she can, to make sure I go to jail (sigh...).

In this particular voice-mail, she left me, she promised I will go to jail, and said,
"hope you like jail, bi$ch!" (this is said to me)

Is that considered a threat?


There are other instances in the past, where this has come up.
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 04-08-2013, 04:48 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,769
dad2bandm is on a distinguished road
Default

Yes, I asked this question in the other thread too, but thought I should start a thread here, as this forum seems more appropriate, and I'm crowding my other RESP thread.

Obviously, I should ignore these type of messages from the other parent, but, I don't think I should have to put up with this tone of message, left on my voice-mail.
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 04-08-2013, 05:32 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,865
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

I think what you have to look at is what you hope to accomplish by going anywhere with this.

I had the RCMP go to my ex's g/f's place with a much less stressful phone call than what you received. The police were very good and simply opened a file, drove over to her place and spoke with her. This worked for me. I went this route rather than making a court issue out of it as I gave her the benefit of the doubt for simply being stupid. I never had to leave my home to do this and I simply emailed the message to the RCMP. RCMP were very helpful and I didn't receive any threatening or harassing calls again.

It doesn't hurt to have a police file number in the event this is the start of something.
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 04-08-2013, 06:22 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 407
mom2three is on a distinguished road
Default

Is it a threat? Under the law, no. She must have threated death, bodily harm, or destruction of your property.

The CCode is a bit more technical than that, but her utterances do not fall within the categories outlined.

But I sure hope you have kept a copy of that voice mail. What a charmer she is

Last edited by mom2three; 04-08-2013 at 06:31 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 04-08-2013, 07:16 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,769
dad2bandm is on a distinguished road
Default

Yeah, I didn't think it would fall under a threat...she'd have to threaten me physically, or some kind of harm. It was the tone of message as well, and her raising her voice, and calling me a "bi$ch"...But it's harassing.

I did call the police, and they took a report. They will go talk to her.

This has happened in the past as well, and there have been some times, when I felt the police needed to be called, and most other times I just let it go, because they can't seem to do much. I called this time, because D4 is with her tonight, and I don't think she should be calling me, leaving those kind of messages, with D4 with her. Plus, I've told her repeatedly to not call me via phone, unless there is an urgent emergency.

They said, if she keeps calling me, eventually it could be criminal harassment I guess, but I mean, there have already been many times. The cop grimaced a few times, listening to her message. (I keep everything, so yes, he had the audio to listen to).

I'm already prepared to probably not get D4 for a day or two, as a result of this. We shall see.

The audio also has some "parental alienation" kind of comments in it as well, because she decided to throw in some other issues in her ranting message, so I have that audio as well.

Perhaps it will be useful, for future court matters, if anyone is interested in the kind of things that are said to D4.
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 04-08-2013, 07:18 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,769
dad2bandm is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I had the RCMP go to my ex's g/f's place with a much less stressful phone call than what you received. The police were very good and simply opened a file...and I didn't receive any threatening or harassing calls again.

It doesn't hurt to have a police file number in the event this is the start of something.
haha. I wish. Unfortunately, it seems to keep popping up with this particular ex from time to time. One would think they would get a hint.

I agree, the police file number may be useful.
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 04-08-2013, 07:33 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 5,448
Mess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the rough
Default

It is not a threat but it is harrassment. You have grounds for a non-contact order.
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 04-08-2013, 08:54 PM
OhMy's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 412
OhMy is on a distinguished road
Default

Mess,

Out of curiosity.. What would be the grounds for a non-contact order? Can this include text?

How does someone make joint decisions with that order in place?
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 04-08-2013, 09:11 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,865
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

dad2bandm: good move. Perhaps your ex will think twice before leaving a poisonous message again. Make sure you don't add oil to the fire and leave her a message. Now might be a good time to start using the wizard program. Takes 2 to tangle so don't provoke her. Radio silence might be a good thing. I'd carry on like nothing happened.

Nice to hear the police are doing their job - keeping the peace.
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 04-08-2013, 09:35 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,865
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

If your ex will not cease from the phone calls, and you can't come to any agreement on how to communicate,you could look into getting a peace bond. You can go before a justice and request that communication between the two of you is not allowed unless it is done through the wizard program. In the event of the emergency a police officer, paramedic or other 3rd party is to contact the non-custodial parent. The peace bond would likely be enforceable against both of you and you might be asked to have a neutral drop off/pick up location. Certainly would end non-essential communication.

I would only resort to this if things go from bad to worse.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Warning signs of behaviours exhibited by child,alienating parent & rejected parent involveddad75 Divorce & Family Law 0 04-01-2013 08:38 PM
Parental alienation: Cdn. study - 1989-2008 kidsRworthit Parenting Issues 10 11-26-2012 02:24 PM
Shared Custody support payments HappyMomma Financial Issues 36 08-05-2010 10:17 PM
Co-parenting ----post divorce bearall Parenting Issues 14 05-25-2010 11:14 AM
Still trying to get a child support order fedupp Financial Issues 3 03-17-2009 10:16 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:36 AM.