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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 04-24-2012, 08:07 PM
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Thanks everyone...

Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
I wouldn't recommend putting your child in another adult situation like this. The other parent is claiming exclusive possession without anything being in place and you do have a legal right to reside at the matrimonial home.

The challenge is the argument that happened in the presence of the child. Was CAS notified by the police to investigate the matter as a minor child was involved in the incident.
I agree...I left so there was no further altercation/arguing. No I didn't call CAS ? Should I have ?

Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Your only opinion at this point is to leave the situation. Now, your child is no longer at the home they primarily reside in. Not sure how "agressive" the other parent is with litigation but, there may be cause if there is no agreement in place for the other parent to make an "emergency" motion before the court.
Our children share each house 50/50. When I went on Sunday it was my turn to have our kids for the week.

Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Make sure you let the other parent know (through your solicitor) where the child is. Also, if there is any agreement on access to the chlid (or if there isn't one) establish it as soon as possible. (through your solicitor)
Thanks ! Yes the OP knows-he comes every week here multiple times-I am only 2 blocks away. I want to stay close/in the same sub-division so it's easiest on our children, same friends, same schools, easy to walk back and forth between our houses.

Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
You have every right to return with police to retrieve your personal belongings. The police will NOT let you stay there if there is any evidence of conflict between the people living in the home. Furthermore, don't do a "surprise" visit. Set a time and date and when you will be coming. If you do a "surprise" visit it may look like a very common "truism" (tactic) that many negative advocate solicitors deploy and is well known to the court.
I will videotape as well (thanks Mess !), have witnesses/help, and phone for the police so they can attend as well. With the advice in this post, and my last one (and the police this past Sunday), I am not worried any longer about having their presence with me. I am actually welcoming it now.

I will give notice but I have a question...I heard that when you phone to ask for this (Keeping the Peace ?) that you can't specify a time. They will call u, and you need to show up when they are available. Is this true ?

Also-Does anyone know if you can ask for a plain clothes officer, unmarked car ?

Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
1. Notify the other parent in writing where the child is located. Full address information and contact information.
Request is in with the lawyer right now

Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
2. Offer to settle on an access schedule if one hasn't been agreed to.
Done-I have a yearly schedule I do in excel with times, dates etc...

Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
3. Request that the other party consider a sale of the matrimonial home or to purchase your interest in the property.
Ex responded last year in July (via lawyer) that he has full intention on buying me out of the house. It has still not happened, and several verbal conversations where he repeatedly states "You deserve nothing, and I'm not giving you anything". This is where I'm getting frustrated and at a loss right now with how to approach this. I want the quickest way to an end !

Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
6. Don't escalate conflict with threats unless you are willing to go through with it and you have relevant evidence to bring forward to the court. (Pushing someone aside is not as relevant as many "domestic violence" advocates would tell you in Family Law.)
Agreed completely. I wasn't too thrown by the shove, or the bags being tossed. It could have been worse and I turned around to leave so it didn't escalate. (he's 6'3" 300lbs, and uses this to physically intimidate).

Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
7. Go out and get Justice Brownstone's book "Tug of War" and read it end to end 4 times. Escalating conflict by either party can quickly become a nightmare before the court which is not good for the children involved ever.
Just returned from Chapters with 1 of 2 copies on the shelf !

Thanks for your help
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