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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 10-02-2009, 02:55 PM
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Does anyone know of a support group for abused women in the GTA? I've been away from him for 2 months now, but my feelings for myself have not improved much. I feel like I need to talk to someone else who has been in my shoes. Counselling isn't working as I am already a strong person (aside from this)

Any ideas??
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Old 10-02-2009, 04:05 PM
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I've messaged you with my response.
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Old 10-02-2009, 08:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
Does anyone know of a support group for abused women in the GTA? I've been away from him for 2 months now, but my feelings for myself have not improved much. I feel like I need to talk to someone else who has been in my shoes. Counselling isn't working as I am already a strong person (aside from this)

Any ideas??

I have found help in looking into religion. Whatever one you want. Its helped me. It's odd actually, as I always used to laugh at the idea.
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Old 10-02-2009, 11:20 PM
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Not odd. I'm all for looking for guidance there. But when I did tell some in the church community they were encouraging me to attend marriage counselling to work it out. Like they couldn't understand how betrayed and broken I am feeling and that we both need to deal with ourselves first. Especially that I don't know if I can ever trust him again.

I felt very judged for not abiding by my vows and contemplating divorce. I understand the church's beliefs, but I doubt any God would want me to continue suffering.

Of course it was the Roman Catholic church. I have no idea what other faith would teach
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Old 10-03-2009, 09:18 AM
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Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
Not odd. I'm all for looking for guidance there. But when I did tell some in the church community they were encouraging me to attend marriage counselling to work it out. Like they couldn't understand how betrayed and broken I am feeling and that we both need to deal with ourselves first. Especially that I don't know if I can ever trust him again.

I felt very judged for not abiding by my vows and contemplating divorce. I understand the church's beliefs, but I doubt any God would want me to continue suffering.

Of course it was the Roman Catholic church. I have no idea what other faith would teach
Well.... you certainly aren't going to get much sympathy from a Roman Catholic Church

My husband and his family are also R.C. and they take wedding vows very seriously. Abuse or not, you made a promise to each other and to the Lord. There is no going back! It's all very antiquated....

But there are other congregations which you might find love and support.

There are also lots of resources for abused women in T.O.

You should contact your local public health department and they will have all sorts of contact information on the various support groups.

Good Luck
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Old 10-05-2009, 10:34 AM
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I am taking my vows very seriously. We were not married in the church, but I did make a commitment to God and my husband. I did not commit myself to being abused, and I can't understand how anyone can believe that God would want anyone to continue in that environment.

I told him that I am still married to him and that I will not violate that commitment as long as I am married still. I told him I expected the same from him and that if he wants to try to fix this that he would not cross the line I was drawing.
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Old 10-06-2009, 08:33 AM
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I am taking my vows very seriously. We were not married in the church, but I did make a commitment to God and my husband. I did not commit myself to being abused, and I can't understand how anyone can believe that God would want anyone to continue in that environment.
Ofcourse you did sweetie

I didn't mean to infer that you hadn't... what I meant is that the Catholic's are very much against divorce.

God doesn't want to see any of us suffer, and he wouldn't want you to be hurt and abused at the hands of the one who has promised to love you the most.
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Old 10-06-2009, 09:53 AM
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First, I am not a Catholic, second, the Catholic Church takes a dim view of spousal abuse, third, God is not in favour of it either...

Ultimately for any Christian (or non Christian for that matter) that is suffering abuse from a spouse, feel assured that an all knowing, all seeing and all powerful God knows your heart and your mind. Getting out of a situation like that is definately in His will. He doesn't want to see you hurt.

As for the vows...they are broken the moment that a spouse hits. A promise to love doesn't say "I promise to love except when I hit"...hitting someone shows decidedly the lack of true marital love and respect...so if anyone is to blame for abandoning the marital vows FIRST, it would be the spouse that hits. Take that back to the religious people who try to force you back into an abusive marriage and remind them that the vows were already thrown aside...but not by you.
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Old 10-06-2009, 11:25 PM
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Thank you both so much. Your words are very comforting.

I still haven't found any support groups though. Any ideas?
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Old 10-07-2009, 12:50 AM
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Catholic Family Services of Toronto - The Phoenix Programme

Counselling

The Schlifer Clinic

Community Services & Organizations | OUTREACH & EDUCATION | METRAC

Hopefully the links provide some assistance??
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