Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #11 (permalink)  
Old 01-20-2013, 12:11 AM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,563
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by oink View Post
I have been thinking about that, but didn't know how to go about it.
You are in possession of the materials, no doubt if you call the police, or CAS, and present the evidence they will state you are the drug user and not the child. So if you want to be in possession of narcotic materials, even if you took it away from a teen age child who resides in the same residence as you, it won't work in your favour possibly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by oink View Post
Like I said she hasn't denied using marijuana, I have gone to her school to talk to the principal, and my next move was going to be to the police.
I don't recommend you talk to the principal of a child for which you are not a custodial parent. If you have concerns about the drug use, you should raise the issue to the mediator without too much blame and ask how they would recommend the matter be handled.

Quote:
Originally Posted by oink View Post
You can see my concern for when the house gets sold and stbx go get our own place, and she continues to fail to address her daughter's habit.
No, I really don't see the concern to be honest. You are assuming a lot in your statement and are possibly reaching quite far. If the situation is serious, the mediator as a professional, is obligated under law to bring the drug use to the attention of the CAS to investigate or the police. If you make the call it will create conflict and you will find yourself before the court and fast.

Quote:
Originally Posted by oink View Post
I just want it stipulated in any agreement that the girl won't be left watching our son.
Again, you are working with a mediator in your matter. Ask the mediator calmly and politely for their advice. Simple facts and not some elaborate story and don't blame anyone for the incident. Don't even request the stipulation. Present the facts and request the advice of the mediator.

Good Luck!
Tayken
Reply With Quote
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 01-20-2013, 12:45 AM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,563
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by oink View Post
Why did you even bother? I guess you won't have concerns if someone that smoked marijuana looked after your 4yr old kid would ya?

Yeah..what if
The court doesn't order on "what if" conditions. What if you develop a drug addiction and become a dangerous parent as a result? You can throw as many "what if" statements into your materials as you want but, it often only demonstrates parental anxiety possibly.

The real tough questions to answer from a barrister (litigation lawyer) in cross examination of your "what if" and "evidence" regarding the 14 year old child in question. Consider the following...

1. Did you raise any concerns prior to the seperation regarding the child in question's use of narcotics?

2. If yes, what steps did you take to assist in the situation to better address your concerns at that time?

3. If no, why did you not raise this concern prior to the separation and are only raising them now?

4. Was the child ever left in the care of the 14 year old prior to you having learned about the narcotics use? If yes, was the child harmed in any way? If you were aware of the narcotics use prior to separation and left the child with the 14 year old, why did you having knowledge that the 14 year old was using narcotic substances?

etc... Cross examination is very intense and the whole goal of them is to identify the gaps in the evidence provided and to bring perspective to the situation. If you knew about this before finding the materials as you are alleging here on this forum and still left the child in the care of the 14 year old... The barrister cross examining you will bring to light the complexity of the situation and the fact that you didn't act on it possibly. This will be to negate the "concern" you bring to the evidence and to demonstrate you as an anxious parent who wants the court to order on "what if" "evidence".

Good Luck!
Tayken

Last edited by Tayken; 01-20-2013 at 12:47 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 01-20-2013, 05:05 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 21
frenchy is on a distinguished road
Default

Until we have equal parenting.there will be more drama like this. When a couple seperated they hates each other . Their is always one parents that use the kids to destroyed their ex. Equal parenting would give peace to both fit parents knowing that they wont have their kids taken away.
Reply With Quote
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 01-20-2013, 05:25 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,241
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by frenchy View Post
Until we have equal parenting.there will be more drama like this. When a couple seperated they hates each other . Their is always one parents that use the kids to destroyed their ex. Equal parenting would give peace to both fit parents knowing that they wont have their kids taken away.
geesh its not equal parenting. Its mentally unbalanced people that cause this kind of "drama"
Reply With Quote
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 01-20-2013, 06:23 PM
mcdreamy's Avatar
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,414
mcdreamy is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by frenchy View Post
Until we have equal parenting.there will be more drama like this. When a couple seperated they hates each other . Their is always one parents that use the kids to destroyed their ex. Equal parenting would give peace to both fit parents knowing that they wont have their kids taken away.
Mental illness. Deserves much more of our tax/government funds and research, to improve our services and support to those in need.

Nothing to do with equal parenting. Nothing to do with gun control. Nothing to do with religion.
Reply With Quote
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 01-20-2013, 06:35 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 21
frenchy is on a distinguished road
Default

Well when a person is in a unhappy mariage and they other person say they will take everything away from the other person. Usely the father lose everything. What if you know that your wife will and she said you never see your kids again. That is mentaly abuse but our systeme wont do anything about it.Having equal parenting would help stop this abuse and cause a parent to become mentaly unstable
Reply With Quote
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 01-20-2013, 06:38 PM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,563
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mcdreamy View Post
Mental illness. Deserves much more of our tax/government funds and research, to improve our services and support to those in need.

Nothing to do with equal parenting. Nothing to do with gun control. Nothing to do with religion.
I am in full support of your statement here McDreamy. Mental health services are abysmal in our country that boasts a public health care system.

The Family Court system needs alignment to the mental health system up front or at minimum to any file before the court marked as "high conflict".
Reply With Quote
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 01-20-2013, 06:41 PM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,563
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
geesh its not equal parenting. Its mentally unbalanced people that cause this kind of "drama"
To add to this observation:

In family court, a judge turns to ridicule to defuse the rage - The Globe and Mail

Bruni v. Bruni should have been the turning point in which the courts recognized the mental health needs of parents.

The divorce that never ends - The Globe and Mail

Quote:
Only 10 per cent of cases go to the court system, and an even smaller percentage of those - less than 5 per cent, Mr. Epstein says - go to trial. All are considered high conflict, "and it's no coincidence that the same percentage of the population - 10 per cent - have borderline personality disorders or mental health issues," he says, adding that delays in the court system often happen because there is not enough capacity to handle the number of cases.
Good Luck!
Tayken
Reply With Quote
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 01-20-2013, 06:43 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 21
frenchy is on a distinguished road
Default

Money is what our justice wants . Look at doctor turcotte. Kills is kids with a knife then 3 years later he is out. Probably many of the people here are lawyers our judge . Sorry if i offend any but this systeme is from the devil himself.
Reply With Quote
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 01-20-2013, 06:48 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,241
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by frenchy View Post
Well when a person is in a unhappy mariage and they other person say they will take everything away from the other person. Usely the father lose everything. What if you know that your wife will and she said you never see your kids again. That is mentaly abuse but our systeme wont do anything about it.Having equal parenting would help stop this abuse and cause a parent to become mentaly unstable
A person who is mentally unstable will not all of a sudden become stable due to equal parenting. Its only thru recognizing they have a problem and getting the help that is needed will they be on the road to recovery.

Look we get it from your posts that you think you got screwed by a court system and want to blame the system. You are sounding like a broken record. Why not give us the background of your case and maybe we can point out where you made mistakes and how you may be able to fix things. You want help then ask for it, just dont keep bitching about how you got screwed over. Let us help if we can.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
2-2-5-5 --> 50-50 Residential Schedule Explained Tayken Parenting Issues 27 11-04-2016 10:13 AM
Parenting plan - Holidays questions baldclub Parenting Issues 15 01-25-2013 11:45 AM
Co-parenting ----post divorce bearall Parenting Issues 14 05-25-2010 12:14 PM
Divorcing Well SigRent Parenting Issues 2 05-06-2010 10:02 PM
How credibility is affected in the eyes of Judges. gooddadgoingmad Divorce & Family Law 12 03-12-2006 04:05 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:16 AM.