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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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  #61 (permalink)  
Old 03-20-2014, 01:16 AM
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At first it was to find out if step fathers are a statistical significantly higher risk to step daughters - Now its actually an experiment into how people REFUSE to believe something that they don't want to NO MATTER what proofs are presented.
BULLCRAP!!! Let me remind you of what you started out the thread with:


Quote:
Actually, I've found quite a bit now and yeah this is a strong/significant association with step fathers and abuse it seems.

On the flip-side its completely ignored by the court - I'll theorize the feminist agenda (women want to remarry and this hampers that).
I really cannot tolerate people say crap like this then try to backup 100 miles an hour and not own it. Its truly cowardly not to own the garbage you say. You are so transparent its ridiculous. You're really not fooling anyone about what your agenda is. You are a raving misogynist and you hate that your ex is living her life and deciding how to parent your children in her own way during her time with them. You are threatened by the idea of your ex bringing new males into your children's lives because you have an inferiority complex a mile wide.

Let me remind you that you were suggesting that the court should consider that male step-parents are likely to molest children. THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID. And in particular, you're concerned about your own ex and, as per usual, disparaging her on this forum because she may be choosing to actually have a relationship.

Another example of this:

Quote:
I was just thinking if my ex brings random male prostitutes to the home, does it pose a threat to my children - then I though, what if they aren't prostitutes but just promiscuous men and I figured I should do some research.
Your seething loathing of your ex affects your ability to think clearly and you have these really creepy topics in your threads which I truly find disturbing. Its seems normal to have concerns that your ex might have new partners and worry about how that might affect your children. Its not normal to show constant disdain for the mother of your children by suggesting she's bringing a bunch of male prostitutes home. Its also highly disturbing that you've obsessed more than once about child molestation.

Your ex is your children's mother. The court has determined that she is capable. And as such, she is responsible to monitor the individuals that are around your children. As their mother, she's responsible to have open dialogue with them and monitor them in the event of problems. You can and should certainly have conversations with your children about talking to you and their private parts being private but that's as far as it goes.

The court won't and shouldn't consider the paranoid, creepy fears of a guy who has major control issues. No one should ever be considered guilty before they commit a crime. This isn't because of some feminist agenda...its because its fundamentally immoral and wrong not to judge individuals on their own actions.

Frankly, I think your ex is on the right track if she's bringing other male role models into your kid's lives. They need them.

Last edited by Pursuinghappiness; 03-20-2014 at 01:20 AM.
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  #62 (permalink)  
Old 03-20-2014, 09:00 AM
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A very simple challenge - show me a valid study that assesses the impact of remarriage and step parents on the kids.

I haven't seen a single one posted yet.
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  #63 (permalink)  
Old 03-20-2014, 09:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
A very simple challenge - show me a valid study that assesses the impact of remarriage and step parents on the kids.

I haven't seen a single one posted yet.
A very simple challenge in deed. You are the one with the hypothesis, YOU are the one that needs to prove it. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proofs, and you haven't provided one.
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  #64 (permalink)  
Old 03-20-2014, 09:48 AM
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Why doesn't the paper I posted meet that requirement?
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  #65 (permalink)  
Old 03-20-2014, 10:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
Why doesn't the paper I posted meet that requirement?
Which one, the New Zealand study? 1200 People. Versus the Stats Canada study I quoted which interviews hundreds of thousands....

The telling part, which you quoted yourself, was that they counted incidents as child sexual abuse things such as leering and suggestive comments, which the interviewed children did not suggest were sexual abuse.

What you consistently fail to get, is that even if there is a statistical correlation between step parents and higher incidents of abuse, is that you can't apply that to your situation. Because your child's prospective step dad is a human being, who in this country has the right to be presumed innocent until proven guilty. And the vast majority of step dads do NOT commit sexual abuse.

Let me draw a parrallel.

Here in Toronto, if you look at crime statistics, you may notice there are certain populations that are more likely involved in violent crime and murder. But if you chose one charecteristic, like skin colour, and try and apply that to all people with that skin colour, you are being racist. Because you are choosing to use one statistic to apply to a broad group of people. Instead you should look at multiple variables, like income, specific geographic areas, membership in gangs, etc. Because the vast majority of people in Toronto, of all races and creeds, are highly unlikely to be involved in violent crime (either as perpetrators or victims).

I do not believe that people become child abusers simply because they have opportunity. I think that child abusers are often victims of abuse themselves, and there are studies to show that.
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  #66 (permalink)  
Old 03-20-2014, 11:34 AM
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I was referring to this:
Children at Risk: The Sexual Exploitation of Female Children After Divorce by Robin Fretwell Wilson :: SSRN


DTD, I agree with everything you are saying.

I am not ASSUMING a person X with no history or no individualized signs of abuse is an abuser or will be an abuser.

All I am stating is that it "seems" there is a significant problem (in the order of ~50%) of sexual abuse of daughters of divorce. Statistically a lot of it relates to step father and some if it relates to bio dads too.

Which to me is shocking really - so:
1. I am trying to figure if its true (asking people to post relevant counter-proofs - not personal anecdotes)
2. If it is true, evaluate and mitigate risks in my situation.
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  #67 (permalink)  
Old 03-20-2014, 11:46 AM
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From the study you refer to, bolding mine:

"In part, the correlation between divorce and sexual victimization is not
surprising. Sociologists have long recognized the risk to girls in stepfamilies.
13

Studies of girls who grew up in stepfather households consistently find an
elevated risk of sexual abuse, with multiple studies finding that roughly half of
stepdaughters report sexual abuse by their stepfather or another adult.
14

Research findings also confirm that stepfathers represent a greater proportion
of abusers than their incidence in the general population would suggest.
15

Daughters living in their father's custody are equally at risk. A national
survey of sexual abuse risk factors found “markedly higher risk” for girls
following their parents' divorce, “particularly when living alone with [their]
father.”
16 In that study, fifty percent of female children residing only with
their father reported sexual abuse by someone, although not necessarily their
father.
17 Similarly, studies of households in which a mother is absent due to
hospitalization, death, or mental illness, also report significantly elevated rates
of sexual abuse.
18 These studies of fractured families differ in their estimates
of the percentage of girls molested during childhood.
19 However, regardless
of whether the precise number is fifty percent or even half of that, the rate
is staggering and suggests that girls are at much greater risk after divorce

than previously imagined."

That would suggest that is divorce not step parents that are at fault.
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  #68 (permalink)  
Old 03-20-2014, 12:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
Why doesn't the paper I posted meet that requirement?
Because the paper is subjective and "opinion evidence" that cannot be cross examined. For this purpose alone it would be removed from an affidavit as a schedule or removed from a trial record. Just because it is a "report" does not make it a "fact"... Nor does it make it a "fact" that would assist the trier of fact in trying to explain your ***CREEPY**** position ("cognitive distortions").

Opinion evidence - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

http://fosterllp.ca/site/assets/file...rtevidence.pdf

And for all the reasons that PH and DTD have already stated.

Good Luck!
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  #69 (permalink)  
Old 03-20-2014, 12:37 PM
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Finally a discussion the facts.

I am not even denying the bio-dad abuse risks, the paper talks about it.
All I AM saying is there IS A SIGNIFICANT increase in risk and a SIGNIFICANT amount of girls seem to be getting sexually abused. The step-father vs bio father seems to be 4 times (mentionned somewhere else in the study) but a sole custody father situation invites major risks too... thats why my first comment was HOW BLEAK.


Quote:
Because the paper is subjective and "opinion evidence" that cannot be cross examined. For this purpose alone it would be removed from an affidavit as a schedule or removed from a trial record. Just because it is a "report" does not make it a "fact"... Nor does it make it a "fact" that would assist the trier of fact in trying to explain your ***CREEPY**** position ("cognitive distortions").

Opinion evidence - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

http://fosterllp.ca/site/assets/file...rtevidence.pdf

And for all the reasons that PH and DTD have already stated.
I wasn't claiming the paper would stand up alone in trial but IF the writer was present and cross-examined it might (I wouldn't present this in court anyways)

Don't agree with other points, neither of the 2 links seemed applicable (I look at them)

It is "creepy" - I agree - its too stigmatized to discuss and it would reflect badly probably on me.
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  #70 (permalink)  
Old 03-20-2014, 12:57 PM
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Study: Slapping Everyone In Grocery Store, Exposing Yourself In Produce Section Still Frowned Upon By Society

According to a study published Tuesday by sociologists at Princeton University, slapping every single person in a grocery store and then baring one’s genitalia in the produce department remains an act roundly frowned upon by modern society.

Study: Slapping Everyone In Grocery Store, Exposing Yourself In Produce Section Still Frowned Upon By Society | Video | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
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