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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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  #41 (permalink)  
Old 03-18-2014, 10:43 PM
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Because of a lot of the ill informed perspectives here I'll post some quotes from the paper - if you don't trust me check it yourself

1. This is from the Cornell Law Review -http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cornell_Law_Review so it doesn't seem to be something completely bias or non-authoritative (but who knows!)

Quote:
with multiple studies finding that roughly half of
stepdaughters report sexual abuse by their stepfather or another adult.14
Research findings also confirm that stepfathers represent a greater proportion
of abusers than their incidence in the general population would suggest.1
p106

Quote:
If the definition of sexual abuse is limited to acts involving
physical contact, approximately twenty percent of female children experience
a serious, unwanted sexual assault (ranging from manual interference with
their genital area to completed intercourse) prior to their eighteenth birthday
p111

Quote:
child molestation is more common in lower socioeconomic classes has been
invalidated
p112


Quote:
Those studies estimating the incidence of abuse find that as many as half the
girls in fractured families report sexual abuse as a child.
p115

Quote:
She found that “when other variables were held constant, children
living with males in the household after separation were 3.4 times more likely
to be sexually abused than were those living with both natural parents,” but
that when compared to children living with only females after separation,
children living with males in their household after separation “were more than
7 times more likely to be abused
p116

Quote:
or almost [four] times what would be expected based on the percent
of children cared for by nonbiologically related fathers.”
p119

Quote:
an annual rate of child sexual abuse
for boys and girls in single-father households equal to forty-six victims per
thousand children.
p123


Quote:
many as one in four stepfathers may sexually abuse the female children to
whom they have access
p120

Quote:
even though one study of severe abuse indicated that nearly threefourths
of nonoffending parents never suspected misconduct.260 Likewise,
seventy-two percent of survey respondents believed that sexually abused
children would most likely display behavioral changes, and that these
alterations would alert them to abuse.261 Again, this misplaced confidence
does not accord with how sexually abused children behave. As noted in Part
I, a third of sexually abused children have no apparent symptoms.262 The
disconnect between public convictions and the reality of abuse may warrant
more directive approaches to abuse prevention.
p149


Quote:
One study of sexually abused children found
that sixty-seven percent have mothers who were victimized themselves,
compared to only three percent of mothers in the study's control group.298
Although a history of sexual abuse is particularly common for mothers of
sexually abused children, studies repor t that significantly high proportions of
victims' fathers are also incest survivors.299
p155



YOu can read the rest yourself, if you comment on this thread and ignore these snippets or don't read the paper .... well whatever suit yourself

Last edited by Links17; 03-18-2014 at 11:03 PM.
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  #42 (permalink)  
Old 03-19-2014, 12:05 AM
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I don't need a crystal ball to see a high probability of some false CAS reports in the future that this OP's ex is going to have to deal with as punishment for her trying to have a normal life with a new partner. This is what happens when you divorce someone who has control issues. I have a lot of empathy for her.

Kids that have to deal with parents with boundary issues like this after divorce get subjected to a lot of nonsense. In this case, potential CAS interviews and possible unnecessary medical exams. If you want a recipe to screw up kids after a divorce, this is pretty much the blueprint to do it.
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  #43 (permalink)  
Old 03-19-2014, 12:26 AM
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I have a statistics background, and I know that terms like "as many as", "roughly", "may equal", etc are weasel words which have no relevance unless you have a clearly established baseline of incidence and prevalence (which I'm not seeing here). People use terms like these to incite fear and anxiety.

I do know that some research suggests that female children are at slightly greater risk of sexual abuse by stepfathers compared to biological fathers. SLIGHTLY greater. The vast majority of stepfathers would never abuse their stepchildren, and general statements about risk in a population should never be used to condemn or insinuate negative things about individuals.
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  #44 (permalink)  
Old 03-19-2014, 12:28 AM
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Quote:
I do know that some research suggests that female children are at slightly greater risk of sexual abuse by stepfathers compared to biological fathers. SLIGHTLY greater. The vast majority of stepfathers would never abuse their stepchildren, and general statements about risk in a population should never be used to condemn or insinuate negative things about individuals.
Post me a proof.

Quote:
I have a statistics background, and I know that terms like "as many as", "roughly", "may equal", etc are weasel words which have no relevance unless you have a clearly established baseline of incidence and prevalence (which I'm not seeing here). People use terms like these to incite fear and anxiety.
I agree can't trust the way stats are presented.
Noted, going to look into it specifically for the quotes I posted eventually depending on the proofs you post.

Last edited by Links17; 03-19-2014 at 12:32 AM.
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  #45 (permalink)  
Old 03-19-2014, 06:59 AM
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Links17- exactly what are you trying to prove with all this nonsense? Why are you really researching this topic?
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  #46 (permalink)  
Old 03-19-2014, 10:27 AM
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At first it was to find out if step fathers are a statistical significantly higher risk to step daughters - Now its actually an experiment into how people REFUSE to believe something that they don't want to NO MATTER what proofs are presented.

I am still waiting for somebody to post something significantly contrary to what I posted... If you can find something reputable - I'm happy to seriously consider it
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  #47 (permalink)  
Old 03-19-2014, 10:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
At first it was to find out if step fathers are a statistical significantly higher risk to step daughters - Now its actually an experiment into how people REFUSE to believe something that they don't want to NO MATTER what proofs are presented.

I am still waiting for somebody to post something significantly contrary to what I posted... If you can find something reputable - I'm happy to seriously consider it
You never answered the question fully... WHY is this something you want to find out? What event made you want to research this topic?

I don't think it is about people refusing to believe sexual abuse exists. We all know it does, however so does physical, mental and verbal abuse. Their are risks associated with everything kids do in life. My step kids go and play on the hill across the street, there is a risk they may fall down the hill and break their arm/leg. There is a risk of driving with children in a car and getting in an accident.

Tell me something, is this something you are going to share with your daughter? Are you going to let her know she should not trust any man in her life but you, especially her Mom's new partner because she might get sexually abused?

If you are so good at looking up statistics, why don't YOU research how many father's sexually abuse their children? Or how many siblings sexually abuse their younger siblings? You are searching for only one type of statistics because you want to try and validate your concerns, but if we are serious about knowing the statistics of sexual abuse in children, you would research the WHOLE picture, not just pick and choose.
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Old 03-19-2014, 12:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
You never answered the question fully... WHY is this something you want to find out? What event made you want to research this topic?

I don't think it is about people refusing to believe sexual abuse exists. We all know it does, however so does physical, mental and verbal abuse. Their are risks associated with everything kids do in life. My step kids go and play on the hill across the street, there is a risk they may fall down the hill and break their arm/leg. There is a risk of driving with children in a car and getting in an accident.

Tell me something, is this something you are going to share with your daughter? Are you going to let her know she should not trust any man in her life but you, especially her Mom's new partner because she might get sexually abused?

If you are so good at looking up statistics, why don't YOU research how many father's sexually abuse their children? Or how many siblings sexually abuse their younger siblings? You are searching for only one type of statistics because you want to try and validate your concerns, but if we are serious about knowing the statistics of sexual abuse in children, you would research the WHOLE picture, not just pick and choose.
I think the better stat for him to start looking at is how many step-parents are perfectly normal, loving human beings that wouldn't hurt their step-kids anymore than they'd hurt their own.

Or maybe how many step-fathers are falsely accused by stat-obsessed bio-fathers.

I suggest you research the WHOLE picture and realize that girls are more likely to be abused by family members OTHER than the male step-parent.
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  #49 (permalink)  
Old 03-19-2014, 05:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MS Mom View Post
I think the better stat for him to start looking at is how many step-parents are perfectly normal, loving human beings that wouldn't hurt their step-kids anymore than they'd hurt their own.

Or maybe how many step-fathers are falsely accused by stat-obsessed bio-fathers.

I suggest you research the WHOLE picture and realize that girls are more likely to be abused by family members OTHER than the male step-parent.
Don't get ahead of yourself - nobody is accusing anybody - I'm just conducting a risk analysis. I'm open minded to studies, research and facts - not my own preconceived notions about the incidence of abuse. Show me some facts/studies substantiating anything you say?

This was for you BTW:
Quote:
One study of sexually abused children found
that sixty-seven percent have mothers who were victimized themselves,
compared to only three percent of mothers in the study's control group.298 Although a history of sexual abuse is particularly common for mothers of sexually abused children, studies repor t that significantly high proportions of victims' fathers are also incest survivors.299
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  #50 (permalink)  
Old 03-19-2014, 05:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
You never answered the question fully... WHY is this something you want to find out? What event made you want to research this topic?
I was just thinking if my ex brings random male prostitutes to the home, does it pose a threat to my children - then I though, what if they aren't prostitutes but just promiscuous men and I figured I should do some research.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
I don't think it is about people refusing to believe sexual abuse exists.
Did I say that? If I did, I meant to say people refuse to believe how common it is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
We all know it does, however so does physical, mental and verbal abuse.
Right but a single MAJOR incideint of sexual abuse is irreversible and I feel like its harder to catch vs physical (leaves marks) or verbal/mentail which is less "shameful" stigmatized and might be done in the presence of the mother (she can't ignore it) or brother.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
Their are risks associated with everything kids do in life.
My step kids go and play on the hill across the street, there is a risk they may fall down the hill and break their arm/leg. There is a risk of driving with children in a car and getting in an accident.
Right, but this isn't something kid does or needs to do and it comes with risks its about the lifestyle choice of parents (which might be perfectly legitimate -but come with hidden costs. All those other things are necessary or CB analysis shows there is a net benefit.

Quote:
Tell me something, is this something you are going to share with your
daughter? Are you going to let her know she should not trust any man in her life but you, especially her Mom's new partner because she might get sexually abused?
No, she is 5 - I am just going to let her know what NOBODY should touch her in a way other than mommy or dadd touch her (i.e: her private parts) etc... and if she is ever not sure sure can speak to me about it so we can work it out.


Quote:
If you are so good at looking up statistics, why don't YOU research how many father's sexually abuse their children?
If you've been patying attention, it is a lot apparently - pretty sad.

Quote:
Or how many siblings
sexually abuse their younger siblings? You are searching for only one type of statistics because you want to try and validate your concerns, but if we are serious about knowing the statistics of sexual abuse in children, you would research the WHOLE picture, not just pick and choose.
Those ohter things might be true but the reality is that I am researching a potential future CHANGE - however my research did show me the childhood sexual assualt for girls of divorce is about 50% - so I am retaining relevant points and not "picking/choosing".
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