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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 04-30-2010, 12:34 AM
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So it is about the morality. Well I slept with her too. She loved it.

You're being a clown. Give us a big picture of you in handcuffs Krusty.
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Old 04-30-2010, 07:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raghache View Post
Yes, stalking and harrasing is illegal, but this is the question, what constitutes stalking and harrasing ?
As for help, thanks for the advice, but this is exactly why I'm asking these questions. Or was it maybe not the kind of help you had in mind ?
one does not have to fear for ones safety for it to be stalking and harrassment. If they ask you to stop contacting the house and to leave them alone and you continue to phone or show up at the house, that is harrassment. If I was the guy though I would be fearing for my familys safety though, you seem to want to keep taking it to the next level so who knows if you will do something. You confronted him, leave it alone now and focus on your marriage.
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Old 04-30-2010, 07:26 AM
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Originally Posted by raghache View Post
And it says: "That section makes it illegal for a person to do any of the following things that cause you to reasonably fear for your safety or the safety of anyone you know"

And that's my take on it. If I do not do anything to make him fear for his safety, it should not be considered stalking. Also, please note the use of the term "repeatedly". With other words, if I ring his bell once, I should be golden. Of course, there are the phone calls I made a month ago. I should not have done that, not to that extent, but what the hell, I was angry and depressed. I guess I need a criminal lawyer to make sure how to continue on this...
OK, thank you for your input.
it is all the actions added to together, the showing up a the door, the phone calls etc etc. A criminal lawyer is going to tell you what we are, to stop your actions before you end up in jail.

Last edited by standing on the sidelines; 04-30-2010 at 07:28 AM. Reason: sp
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Old 04-30-2010, 09:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
one does not have to fear for ones safety for it to be stalking and harrassment. If they ask you to stop contacting the house and to leave them alone and you continue to phone or show up at the house, that is harrassment. If I was the guy though I would be fearing for my familys safety though, you seem to want to keep taking it to the next level so who knows if you will do something. You confronted him, leave it alone now and focus on your marriage.
If "they" asked me to stop, I certanly would. But "they" did not, he did.

I do want to take things to the level the law allows. This is why I'm on this board, to find this out. This is why I wrote to the Ottawa police asking the same question I did here (about two weeks ago), but I did not get an answer back yet. And for the same reason, I will go to a criminal lawyer before doing anything that might get me into trouble. I want to get revenge within the legal limits.

Anyway, it looks to me like I'm mostly waisting my time here. There seems to be a lot of knowledge about family law, but not that much about the criminal one.
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Old 04-30-2010, 09:19 PM
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You're clearly deranged. This is a support board for people going through divorce - which I have no doubt you will soon be due to your own actions. You're "waisting" your time if you think anyone is going to support you in this.

This kind of preparation, pre-meditation and obsessive behaviour are all characteristic of a stalker, especially the kind whose behaviour typically escalates into violence. You can rationalaize it and justify it all you want, your behaviour is sociopathic and I hope when your wife decides to leave you for good that she's not subject to this kind of harassment.

Learn to take NO for an answer and take responsibility for your part in your marriage issues.

Thank god the guy's wife has no electronic footprint and now, thanks to all your posting here...YOU do.
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Old 04-30-2010, 10:02 PM
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Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
You're clearly deranged. This is a support board for people going through divorce - which I have no doubt you will soon be due to your own actions. You're "waisting" your time if you think anyone is going to support you in this.

This kind of preparation, pre-meditation and obsessive behaviour are all characteristic of a stalker, especially the kind whose behaviour typically escalates into violence. You can rationalaize it and justify it all you want, your behaviour is sociopathic and I hope when your wife decides to leave you for good that she's not subject to this kind of harassment.

Learn to take NO for an answer and take responsibility for your part in your marriage issues.

Thank god the guy's wife has no electronic footprint and now, thanks to all your posting here...YOU do.
I'm not going to bother with the rest, but out of curiosity, what do you mean by the electronic footprint part ? I'm not trying to hide, I have no reason to. When I wrote to the police, I gave them my contact information, if that's what you are getting at. If you mean my wife's former lover, he has my contact infromation as well. If you mean his wife, I'm trying to get this info to her somehow. I'm a bit puzzled by the last part of your message.
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Old 04-30-2010, 11:17 PM
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It seems like you want to take this within a inch (or less) of being offside of the criminal law. So you sought the advice of the police in that effort? Do you have any notion as to why they didn't bother to respond? They're not in the business of advising people how far they can go before they take it to the criminal limit.

Yes, this is a family law site, but several of us shifted gears and provided specific criminal law guidance as to the definition of criminal harassment. I would say you received excellent criminal law advice here.

Methinks you are whacked in the head and/or you love the drama of playing this board.
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Old 04-30-2010, 11:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dadtotheend View Post
It seems like you want to take this within a inch (or less) of being offside of the criminal law. So you sought the advice of the police in that effort? Do you have any notion as to why they didn't bother to respond? They're not in the business of advising people how far they can go before they take it to the criminal limit.

Yes, this is a family law site, but several of us shifted gears and provided specific criminal law guidance as to the definition of criminal harassment. I would say you received excellent criminal law advice here.

Methinks you are whacked in the head and/or you love the drama of playing this board.

Well, the Ottawa police does have a web site where you can ask questions in various fields, one of them named "crime prevention", so I figured I should give it a try.
I'm not sure what you mean by "the drama", but I have to say, it's interesting to see how various people repond to this issue.
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Old 04-30-2010, 11:48 PM
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Of course you don't know about the drama. People with personality disorders don't think they have a problem, which becomes part of the problem.
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Old 05-01-2010, 09:27 AM
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Originally Posted by raghache View Post
If "they" asked me to stop, I certanly would. But "they" did not, he did.

I do want to take things to the level the law allows. This is why I'm on this board, to find this out. This is why I wrote to the Ottawa police asking the same question I did here (about two weeks ago), but I did not get an answer back yet. And for the same reason, I will go to a criminal lawyer before doing anything that might get me into trouble. I want to get revenge within the legal limits.

Anyway, it looks to me like I'm mostly waisting my time here. There seems to be a lot of knowledge about family law, but not that much about the criminal one.
if asked you to leave them alone then he is speaking for the whole family. Your wife cheated, what revenge on you getting on her?? She could have said no to the guy and none of this would have happened. My first husband cheated on me and I never once wanted to get revenge on the woman. I never gave her a second thought. I focused on my marriage and him and in the end we divorced. I was depressed when I found out but never felt the urge to get revenge on her even though i knew where she lived etc. I think you have deeper mental health issues at play here. From your postings you seem to focused on him and not her, which is probably a good thing in some ways because you seem to be ready to go over the edge.

I am wondering if the admin of this board should forward the guys postings and ISP address to the police before he does something stupid and hurt someone??? The police can maybe have a talk to him and explain why his actions are not going to end well for him.
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