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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 04-29-2010, 11:09 PM
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dadtotheend:
I'm actually looking more for a legal opinion about this, than a moral opinion. But regarding the moral part, I might be emotionally harrasing him, but so did he, did he not ? He knew he's stepping into a family's turf, yet he did it. Quite frankly, his actions (and my wife's, again, she is guiltier than him for sure) put me into depression for about two months, so I kind of feel entitled to put the same emotional pressure on him that he put on me.
His wife and kids ? He should have thought about it, don't you think ? But he did not think about them, or my kids. I do feel sorry for his kid, yes, but actualy I do not feel sorry for his wife. I mean, she would most likely want to know. I know I would, and I believe most people would too. Not that I'm doing it for her, mind you, but i believe she would be better off.

blinkandimgone:
Hold on a second. This is what I'm trying to find out, if it is stalking, or actualy, even if it can be considered as such. If there is a chance for that, I'm not going to do it, for sure. Also, if it is, I would like to find out legal ways to do this and respecting the law. Like trough a third party, a lawyer or something. It might cost, but to me, it's worth it.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 04-29-2010, 11:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raghache View Post
dadtotheend:
I'm actually looking more for a legal opinion about this, than a moral opinion. But regarding the moral part, I might be emotionally harrasing him, but so did he, did he not ? He knew he's stepping into a family's turf, yet he did it. Quite frankly, his actions (and my wife's, again, she is guiltier than him for sure) put me into depression for about two months, so I kind of feel entitled to put the same emotional pressure on him that he put on me.
His wife and kids ? He should have thought about it, don't you think ? But he did not think about them, or my kids. I do feel sorry for his kid, yes, but actualy I do not feel sorry for his wife. I mean, she would most likely want to know. I know I would, and I believe most people would too. Not that I'm doing it for her, mind you, but i believe she would be better off.
Quit making your moral case if your just looking for a legal opinion. The morality here has to consider the effect on his wife (and kids?) fella.

In criminal law, the definition of "criminal harassment" includes an element of fearing for one's safety. You don't appear to be doing that from what you describe, but it's not inconceivable that you could be found that way depending on a number of factors.

Be careful. And ethical.

Last edited by dadtotheend; 04-29-2010 at 11:17 PM.
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Old 04-29-2010, 11:14 PM
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Stalking and harassing people is illegal. The end.

Now go get yourself some help.

Last edited by blinkandimgone; 04-29-2010 at 11:15 PM. Reason: the voices told me to
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Old 04-29-2010, 11:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
Stalking and harassing people is illegal. The end.

Now go get yourself some help.
Yes, stalking and harrasing is illegal, but this is the question, what constitutes stalking and harrasing ?
As for help, thanks for the advice, but this is exactly why I'm asking these questions. Or was it maybe not the kind of help you had in mind ?
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Old 04-29-2010, 11:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dadtotheend View Post
Quit making your moral case if your just looking for a legal opinion. The morality here has to consider the effect on his wife (and kids?) fella.

In criminal law, the definition of "criminal harassment" includes an element of fearing for one's safety. You don't appear to be doing that from what you describe, but it's not inconceivable that you could be found that way depending on a number of factors.

Be careful. And ethical.

Thanks for the advice. I intend to. Yes, I know about the "fearing for the safety", but it's that part with the number of factors that I'm trying to avoid, and find more info about.
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Old 04-29-2010, 11:23 PM
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Originally Posted by raghache View Post
what constitutes stalking and harrasing ?
Department of Justice - Criminal Harassment: A Handbook for Police and Crown Prosecutors
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Old 04-29-2010, 11:29 PM
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http://www.cba.org/bc/public_media/criminal/206.aspx

What is stalking?
Stalking is criminal harassment, contrary to Section 264 of the Criminal Code of Canada. That section makes it illegal for a person to do any of the following things that cause you to reasonably fear for your safety or the safety of anyone you know:
  • repeatedly follow you, or anyone you know, from place to place
  • repeatedly communicate with you, or anyone you know, directly or indirectly
  • repeatedly watch you, or anyone you know, or your home, workplace, or any other place you happen to be
  • engage in any threatening conduct directed at you or a member of your family
A person can be stalking even if they don’t physically hurt anyone or damage any property. The law is designed to protect psychological, emotional, and physical safety.

Stalking may start with conduct that seems more annoying than dangerous. Often, the conduct is legal and even socially acceptable, if it’s just an isolated incident. But when it’s repeated, it may cause fear in the victim. Conduct such as following someone, or sending gifts or letters, may become intimidating if done continually and against someone’s wishes.
Once a person knows that their conduct is not welcome, if they continue, their conduct may be criminal harassment and may result in a criminal conviction.



This is exactly what you're doing. I hope you've discussed with your wife how she feels about being married to a criminal because that's where you're headed.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 04-29-2010, 11:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
http://www.cba.org/bc/public_media/criminal/206.aspx

What is stalking?

Stalking is criminal harassment, contrary to Section 264 of the Criminal Code of Canada. That section makes it illegal for a person to do any of the following things that cause you to reasonably fear for your safety or the safety of anyone you know:
  • repeatedly follow you, or anyone you know, from place to place
  • repeatedly communicate with you, or anyone you know, directly or indirectly
  • repeatedly watch you, or anyone you know, or your home, workplace, or any other place you happen to be
  • engage in any threatening conduct directed at you or a member of your family
A person can be stalking even if they don’t physically hurt anyone or damage any property. The law is designed to protect psychological, emotional, and physical safety.

Stalking may start with conduct that seems more annoying than dangerous. Often, the conduct is legal and even socially acceptable, if it’s just an isolated incident. But when it’s repeated, it may cause fear in the victim. Conduct such as following someone, or sending gifts or letters, may become intimidating if done continually and against someone’s wishes.
Once a person knows that their conduct is not welcome, if they continue, their conduct may be criminal harassment and may result in a criminal conviction.



This is exactly what you're doing. I hope you've discussed with your wife how she feels about being married to a criminal because that's where you're headed.
And it says: "That section makes it illegal for a person to do any of the following things that cause you to reasonably fear for your safety or the safety of anyone you know"

And that's my take on it. If I do not do anything to make him fear for his safety, it should not be considered stalking. Also, please note the use of the term "repeatedly". With other words, if I ring his bell once, I should be golden. Of course, there are the phone calls I made a month ago. I should not have done that, not to that extent, but what the hell, I was angry and depressed. I guess I need a criminal lawyer to make sure how to continue on this...
OK, thank you for your input.
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 04-30-2010, 12:05 AM
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I hope the husband stumbles across this thread. I do believe you are insane and have zero morals.
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Old 04-30-2010, 12:22 AM
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I tend to not think of myself as having high morals. However, I do believe I would never sleep with a married woman.
As for the insane part, I don't agree with that. But then again, hve you ever seen a nutcase who admits he is one ?
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