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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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  #51 (permalink)  
Old 05-15-2012, 07:34 AM
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To best understand the relationship between Axis II disorders of the personality I highly recommend Mr. William Eddy's books and other articles:

HCI High Conflict Speakers, Books, Consultations

Mr. Eddy has mapped the behaviour patterns of Axis II disordered (Mostly cluster C) individuals to their behaviours in front of the court. Mr. Eddy exposes the "truisms" that many Axis II disordered (or those with "traits of") demonstrate before the court.

It would be great if more people in their affidavit materials when raising concerns mapped their concerns directly to Mr. Eddy's well recognized work. I attended one of his sessions here in Canada and there were a number of Justices and very senior solicitors in attendance. It is not like his theories and methodologies are "unknown" in Canada per-say. There are court orders referencing his books directly in CanLII now. (Justice in Peel.)

The courts in Canada really dislike anyone raising mental health issues but, with the recent news about the readjustment of the mental health system and significant investment into it... It demonstrates that we as a nation have not focused on the impact mental health has on our society as a whole.

10% of the population has an Axis II disorder (Cluster A, B or C combined) and 10% of matrimonial matters go to trial... There is a reason that these two numbers match. - (Rough re-wording of something Phil Epstein said in an article. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Phil... he is one of the most senior and recognized Family Law solicitors in Ontario.)

Much better integration of the family court system and the mental health system is needed. Section 30 and OCL just don't "investigate" the matters.

For example... Any time anyone alledges "abuse" BOTH parties should have to have a full mental evaluation.

1) In the instance of actual "abuse" so the "abuser" can get the appropriate help and be a better member of our society.

2) In the instance of false allegations of "abuse" so the "psychological abuser" (the person making the false allegation in this case) can get the appropriate help and be a better member of our society.

Family Law should be mental health focused more and the CLRA should be combined with a "Family Health Act" in some matter to address the issue. Families are one of the most important resources in Canada... More so than our oil but, we don't treat this asset properly.

There is a reason we have a negative birth rate...

Good Luck!
Tayken

Good Luck!
Tayken
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  #52 (permalink)  
Old 05-15-2012, 09:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
10% of the population has an Axis II disorder (Cluster A, B or C combined) and 10% of matrimonial matters go to trial... There is a reason that these two numbers match.
I see the importance of this. Thank your for your (always) astute and critical information. Despite being a mental health practitioner, i was so enmeshed in the business of conflict and trying to fix and change and heal and teach (him) that i lost my way.

I am out of the forest, or in it, but i see the trees.

A few years ago when my former husband brought me to family court, the judge, bless her, took 9 weeks to make the judgment and "saw" this mental health issue in that, the reasons for his taking me to court were incredibly solvable through a conversation/mediation/collaboration AND through being reasonable -- he refused an incredibly generous and intelligent and mature offer from me (which was more than what the judge ruled in the end). She saw things i didn't see, she knew things i didn't know, and now i am feeling better given the trajectory life has taken him (most of the criminal activity, charges, and fraud happened after the family court trial).

Your posts are always helpful.
HD
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  #53 (permalink)  
Old 02-13-2013, 06:40 AM
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I agree that actually figuring out that he is a sociopath is a positive step forward.
Once I realized that I wasn't imagining these things and there was something more to him that wasn't normal...it helped me set the stage for me to withdraw and protect myself.
And what i mean is I could make sense and act accordingly.
Another thing I read is that with someone like this is to watch how u cross them...as they will get u back.
It doesn't mean violently but they will try to ruin and wreck what they can when they can all Becuase thy were humiliated etc.
Ugly only gets uglier with these people.
Given That's my experience w one but reading more into sociopaths...that seems to be the norm.
Pull away gently... And count ur blessing that ur free if it goes well.
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