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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 11-29-2012, 06:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Nadia View Post
At the risk of sounding like someone who keeps say, "wait till hear what my ex did," and I apologise if I am beginning to sound like that..
.. says one of the most sensible and well-spoken members on this board...
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 11-29-2012, 08:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Mess View Post
.. says one of the most sensible and well-spoken members on this board...
That is why Nadia will come out of this smarter, better and happier in the end of all this.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 11-29-2012, 10:22 PM
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Often times people do not realize that even though they may not use real names, facts that they post over time can be utilized and a time line established to prove it is indeed them.

Airing ones own dirty laundry that does indeed identify that person by name is horrendous. Especially when there are disparaging comments and negative advocates who pile ontop.

Mess and Tayken- you are both right about Nadia. I have taken the opportunity to read her past posts. Wow. She is a definite role model. Regardless of how the other party acted in her case she has always remained composed and respectful in her comments.

I have learned a lot from reading her story. Nadia thank you. You give me a lot of hope.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 11-30-2012, 01:31 AM
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Hey Tayken,

Very interesting post for me to read, as I discovered just today that my son had access to his mothers text messages and he read some pretty slanderous stuff.

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...69/index2.html

Also, while a very caring mother for sure, my ex had our kids on Facebook before they were thirteen (the minimum age for Fb), and in fact my son had put photos of my daughter in only her underwear on Fb a couple of years ago and my 12-year old daughter had actually posted her own cell phone number on Fb. I was all over that when I found out, I try to show my kids some good online safety techniques.

You know me, I keep track of what is said in the digital world, 4,000 emails at trial to prove that! Whatever I say here on this forum, I am prepared 100% to back it up in court.
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 11-30-2012, 01:47 PM
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Hey Tayken,

Very interesting post for me to read, as I discovered just today that my son had access to his mothers text messages and he read some pretty slanderous stuff.

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...69/index2.html

Also, while a very caring mother for sure, my ex had our kids on Facebook before they were thirteen (the minimum age for Fb), and in fact my son had put photos of my daughter in only her underwear on Fb a couple of years ago and my 12-year old daughter had actually posted her own cell phone number on Fb. I was all over that when I found out, I try to show my kids some good online safety techniques.

You know me, I keep track of what is said in the digital world, 4,000 emails at trial to prove that! Whatever I say here on this forum, I am prepared 100% to back it up in court.
It is always amazing to see the cathartic and child-like mentality of highly conflicted people exposed on social media. They are always harshin' everyone's mellow with their nonsense. Not cool, man.
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 11-30-2012, 05:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OhMy View Post
Often times people do not realize that even though they may not use real names, facts that they post over time can be utilized and a time line established to prove it is indeed them.

Airing ones own dirty laundry that does indeed identify that person by name is horrendous. Especially when there are disparaging comments and negative advocates who pile ontop.

Mess and Tayken- you are both right about Nadia. I have taken the opportunity to read her past posts. Wow. She is a definite role model. Regardless of how the other party acted in her case she has always remained composed and respectful in her comments.

I have learned a lot from reading her story. Nadia thank you. You give me a lot of hope.
A prime example of what to do in the face of adversity. I have tremendous respect for Nadia and appreciation for her participation and sharing on this site.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 12-06-2012, 12:28 AM
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pokeman has a little shameless behaviour in the past
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some might interpret this thread as trying to
keep people quiet about whats going on in court

...

cause we all know court is so fair .. no bias ..

no Judges leaning 1 way ...

ha ha

no need to give out your personal info on
the inet ...

BUT

dont be afraid to say what you think ,
just be accountable for what you say

quote 'unlikely anyone will care unless your threatening someone
or suggesting you will hurt yourself'

the internet might seem faceless but
everything you type can be traced right
back to your office, home ...

the owner of this website (for example)
can see your internet address, email address
you signed up with and so on , if your at
work and login they can see your company
info too.

why be afraid of that - who cares ...

similar at home ..

doesnt mean we cant say what we see , experienced or feel

for example :
Canada discrimates against fathers and the Statistic
Canada numbers for 2006 show it, so Statistic's Canada
may not publish the 2011 census numbers.

Thats cause we live in a 'free' country, not like Russia
1950 when they hide things from the general public.

Remember - Say what you think - just be accountable

If we dont speak up then social diseases like incest
would still run amuck - think about it :


if the black man of the 1800's chose to keep quite where would they be today ?

if women in the early 1900's chose to keep quite where would they be today ?

if fathers in the 21st century chose to keep quite how they get 15% or less custody in court where will they be tomorrow ?

love u all,
peace out
PokeMan

Last edited by pokeman; 12-06-2012 at 12:40 AM. Reason: get n the point across with a rephrase
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 12-06-2012, 03:08 PM
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There was a time when my ex submitted pictures of our daughter having fun with family events from Facebook to try and prove that our daughter saw them enough so that she did not really need to go on a trip to see her Grandma for her birthday... Judge sided with me luckily on that one but it was a close call lol....
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 12-07-2012, 11:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pokeman View Post

if the black man of the 1800's chose to keep quite where would they be today ?

if women in the early 1900's chose to keep quite where would they be today ?

if fathers in the 21st century chose to keep quite how they get 15% or less custody in court where will they be tomorrow ?

love u all,
peace out
PokeMan
Pokeman: You mean if the black men (and women) of the 1960s chose to keep quite where would they be today? And if women in the 1970s chose to keep quite where would they be today? And if fathers in the 1990s chose to keep quite how would they get 50% custody in court today?

Can be easily mixed up. Some of my students think the Cuban Missile crisis took place in the 1800s.

Last edited by Nadia; 12-07-2012 at 11:38 AM.
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 12-07-2012, 06:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pokeman View Post
doesnt mean we cant say what we see , experienced or feel
http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...-mossip-13753/

If this parent could remember the beginning more, and focussed on the end less and what has happened, this parent's children could not have suffered so much as a result of the end of their “story” as a couple.

How this poster actually got to this place, a place where you compair "incest" to "divorce", only the poster will know; and only the poster knows through their unique and individual perspective.

As Catherine Gildiner wrote in the preface to her book, After the Falls, (Toronto: Alfred A. Knopf Canada, 2009):
Memory is a tricky business. No two people remember things the same way. Memory is not a recording device; it is the brain’s way of allowing us to select moments in order to interpret our pasts. All the images on file in our brains pass through elaborate screens of unconscious needs and emerge as memories.
To that quote I would add that the filtering process this poster is going through helps the poster “save” themselves, so that the poster can present themselves in the best light possible. It is only through years of often painful therapy that this poster could possibly understand how much the poster may have filtered their own experiences is all to "save" their self image through possibly projections of blame against the system of family law.

What I find sad for the members of this board is the amount of time, money, energy, and emotional angst, that this poster and others have engaged in to convince themselves, the other parent, the children, their friends, the professionals involved, the Court and the general public (by posting on this forum), that their truth is the “real truth”; that their version of events is what actually happened.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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