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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 09-22-2011, 09:53 AM
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Default Sexual Abuse - what kind of system do we have?

What is your opinion on the following?

The half brother of my daughter sexually abused her 10 years ago. He was 14, she was 4 years old. He was not convicted, although protected by his father, "his life is only starting.... he was only exploring....." This happened a year our separation. I, the mother, only had my daughter's 4 years old testimonial to go with, no doubt in my mind it happened more than once, but not willing to put my daughter on the stand. She was not "traumatized" at the time, I had to keep it that way although I wanted to protect her. At my request, the court ordered there would be no communication directly or indirectly between the two half siblings due to the half brother's actions. Therefore, they have not seen nor spoken to each other in over 10 years.

The half-brother, now 24 years old, wants to have access to my daughter, now 14 years old therefore he is taking me to family court to get the particular clauses out of the court order. This court order is between his father and I, therefore, he has the support of his father. Can you believe this? My daughter does not want to see him but does not want to upset her father.
I am a single mom, this is costing me a fortune. How come a child sexual abuser has the right to do this?

What are your thoughts?
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Old 09-22-2011, 10:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Justice0467 View Post
What is your opinion on the following?

The half brother of my daughter sexually abused her 10 years ago. He was 14, she was 4 years old. He was not convicted, although protected by his father, "his life is only starting.... he was only exploring....." This happened a year our separation. I, the mother, only had my daughter's 4 years old testimonial to go with, no doubt in my mind it happened more than once, but not willing to put my daughter on the stand. She was not "traumatized" at the time, I had to keep it that way although I wanted to protect her. At my request, the court ordered there would be no communication directly or indirectly between the two half siblings due to the half brother's actions. Therefore, they have not seen nor spoken to each other in over 10 years.

The half-brother, now 24 years old, wants to have access to my daughter, now 14 years old therefore he is taking me to family court to get the particular clauses out of the court order. This court order is between his father and I, therefore, he has the support of his father. Can you believe this? My daughter does not want to see him but does not want to upset her father.
I am a single mom, this is costing me a fortune. How come a child sexual abuser has the right to do this?

What are your thoughts?
1. The order to restrain him from contacting is sister is still in effect. I am assuming that there is no police enforcement clause for the order. So to be effective outside of the family law system it would need a police enforcement clause.

2. Your daughter has every right to deny seeing her half-brother if she so chooses to. Considering there is an order to restrain the half-brother's contact your daughter is now at the age that a Judge would want to possibly hear her reasons for not seeing her brother. Considering past conduct and the current order of the court a judge would probably not change the status quo.

3. If there is a police enforceable restraining order against the half-brother he may be making the motion to have it removed as an employer may have run a background check for which it shows up on.

4. There is 10 years of status quo where the siblings have not had any contact. Your daughter is now 14 years of age. She can decide and her opinions are valid. You should request the OCL get involved should he take the matters to court. OCL would be the most appropriate organization in your current financial situation to evaluate the safety of their contact.

5. Under rule 35.1 of the Children's Law Reform Act you may be able to request the half-brother to provide a full Vulnerable Records Search. Considering the past conduct and what is in the order you have now a judge would more than likely request this from the half-brother anyways. If there is correspondence from the half-brother coming to you requesting contact you can simply request a copy of his most recent Vulnerable Records Search.

6. I highly doubt that a court would even allow the half-brother to file a motion for access. If the half-brother is not represented by a lawyer I would really not be too concerned. This kind of matter before the court is very complex. A self representing litigant in a matter of this complexity would really have a hard time even filing anything with the courts in my opinion. I doubt highly that a clerk would even file the paperwork.

7. Check with the FLIC (Family Law Information Centre) too. Furthermore, depending on your financial situation you may qualify for Legal Aid should the half-brother move to have the order changed. I would check with FLIC on what you should do, what the half-brother can do and how you should be conducting yourself.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 09-22-2011, 11:14 AM
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HI Tayken,

Thank you for your comments and suggestions.

There is no Police enforcement : the sexual abuse happened in Gatineau where the half-brother and father lives; my daughter and I live in Ottawa. Gatineau police are arrogant, to say the least. Their response, when I recently tried to get more information from the file and their support : "It's not as if they were naked under the bed sheets".... !!! They have a closed file which is not going anywhere because no charges were filed. Ottawa Police can't do anything, obviously because the half-brother lives in another province.

I do not have faith in the judges, they are human and may say, "hey! its been 10 yrs....he probably won't do it again... "

The half-brother is represented by a lawyer...

I will contact OCL and FLIC.

Thank you so much!
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