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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 08-13-2014, 07:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Janibel View Post
SOTS don't waste your time on once.is.enough, he loves to bait people and only comments to either criticize or make more trouble. He contributes very little to this forum ....


So very true. Basically (s)he is a troll that loves the conflict. No useful advice.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 08-13-2014, 07:51 PM
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Unfortunately, I do feel very attacked. And never once did I say that what I did was right. Of course there are more layers to the story than I am really willing to share, it had been almost two years of putting up with things from both of them. Not saying it was right, but the police department where I live is currently under investigation due to this whole incident.

You said I will be facing credibility. Because I hit her, he was in the right to attack me with a weapon? This whole thing was planned and I have messages from his family member that will attest to that. I am dealing with addicts, and as I said there is more to this story than I am willing to share. Who wants to be ripped to threads, 16 years is enough for me.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 08-13-2014, 08:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Sadmommy View Post
Unfortunately, I do feel very attacked. And never once did I say that what I did was right. Of course there are more layers to the story than I am really willing to share, it had been almost two years of putting up with things from both of them. Not saying it was right, but the police department where I live is currently under investigation due to this whole incident.

You said I will be facing credibility. Because I hit her, he was in the right to attack me with a weapon? This whole thing was planned and I have messages from his family member that will attest to that. I am dealing with addicts, and as I said there is more to this story than I am willing to share. Who wants to be ripped to threads, 16 years is enough for me.
I understand where you're coming from - keep in mind that this is just some divorce forum - none of us are lawyers - only poor souls going through our own versions of ''divorce hell".

This place has helped me to develop a tougher skin, and to learn about case law. The rest of it is personal opinion - take it or leave it.

Of course he had no right to come at you with a baseball bat, the whole situation was a nightmare from the get to. When I write about credibility, it has more to do with your attitude once in front of the judge. Yes, you were wronged, yes you made a mistake - you have to make an effort to be the reasonable one in all this.

You don't have to forgive the asshole Ex, but do try to forgive yourself, don't spend the rest of your life with a chip on your shoulder. You're not a victim - you're a survivor, look at it that way and things will start to improve.

Last edited by Janibel; 08-13-2014 at 08:05 PM.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 08-13-2014, 08:30 PM
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You do lack credibility in this thread. You have stated you do not want to share more - so be it. As it stands there are holes in your story and ones that raise red flags. I am not alone in this position - that also is a red flag for *you*.

You have already demonstrated a lack of judgement by your own admission - you hit someone because they said something that offended you.

You lack judgement and emotionally reason I am a "step parent so I should let parents parent" - the fact that I am a step parent, a nurse or a minister is irrelevant - there are gaps in your story and as it stands the only one that takes issue with your ex being with the children is *you*. Not even the authorities have come to that decision at this point and time...and their duty/mandate is to protect children. You can't dismiss that. At least you shouldn't.

When you start to bring in all the fluff about me being a step parent...and their addicts...and he drives a red car....and karma is gonna bite them - that is called "deflection". It really doesn't help your case any. In fact, it gives more red flags that you aren't emotionally where you need to be.

Take what you want from what I said and leave the rest. I can tell you that you will get further ahead if you cease the emotional banter and focus on what you think your issue is. However, consider what you will do when/if you are told your issues are unfounded. There is such a thing called "escalation of commitment" and you don't want to fall into that trap.

And don't hit people. Just don't.
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 08-13-2014, 09:11 PM
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We're not the reason people stay in bad relationships. Really?

Balance of probabilities. You punched somebody when you were mad. Not in self defense. You hit her first over a mean comment. Automatically we can visualize how you may have reacted when you were mad at your ex. And unfortunately you seem like you may be aggressive and confrontational yourself. Even by your last defensive posts.

Yep. Get legal aid (grow wings) and keep his kid away from him. That will solve everything.

Do you not think you may perhaps need some anger mgmnt yourself since you hit ppl?

I'm sorry for what you went through. Nobody here said he's justified in anything he did.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 08-13-2014 at 09:15 PM.
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 08-13-2014, 10:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
So very true. Basically (s)he is a troll that loves the conflict. No useful advice.
I am suggesting that due to the OP evasiveness that perhaps she has read up on abuse on the internet and is fabricating a story so legal aid will foot the bill. She now comes here for reinforcement...wouldn't be the first time.

Troll works for me and I don't enjoy conflict...unless it involves bondage. I do enjoy differing opinions
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 08-13-2014, 10:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Once.is.enough View Post

Troll works for me and I don't enjoy conflict...unless it involves bondage. I do enjoy differing opinions
Here's my opinion ........shuddap already!
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 08-13-2014, 10:44 PM
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Here's my opinion ........shuddap already!
Feel free to add me to your ignore list.
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 08-14-2014, 12:22 AM
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Women can hit men because they can't hurt us but men can't hit women because they get injured - true story...
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